Category Archives: Uncategorized

Bad Decisions

My father belongs to a men’s club that strictly bars the fairer sex.   I think this is because, at their monthly meetings, there’s crazy dancing and silly hats. I’ll never know because he’s sworn to secrecy as to their goings-on.   This past Monday, while he was off wearing a sombrero and doing the [...]

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The Truth About Bocce

Every Friday night, my father and I play in a bocce league. This may seem old-fashioned to some, but, hey, I like pineapple-upside-down cake, so I like retro.   It’s also a group for people over 50, so it’s not like they’re going to form an outlaw skateboard league. (They also initially barred me ‘cause I wasn’t [...]

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Going Commando

Most people have something without which they cannot start their day.  For some it’s coffee.  Or a shower.   A friend espouses, “You’re not truly awake until you’ve brushed your teeth.” For me, I can’t think without a bra.  I’m just that way.  I need everything on lock-down before I can form sentences. I recently went [...]

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Pocono Fashion

Y’all know that I suffer from Yogurtpantitis.  For the non-medically inclined, this is an addiction to yogurt pants. (If I thought you had the time and energy to read a footnote, I’d write one.  But I know you don’t, so I’m just gonna lay this out here:  The derivation of the term “yogurt pants” starts [...]

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Holiday Food

I cook.  And I’m good at it.  But the thing that makes me want to run in a circle screaming is “Holiday Food.”  The mere sight of a wild turkey – outside its bottle – makes me cringe.  It’s not so much the food as the attendant falderal.  Falderal meaning family. Our tiny family was [...]

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Love’s a Whirlpool

Being a spinster in the Poconos isn’t easy.  Without the actual spinning to do, it would seem like a piece of cake – but there’s a lot more to it than that:  There’s a specific sigh, a certain woebegone look…hey, if you wanna know, attend the meetings. My lack of luck (I should be a whiz at [...]

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I’m a famous insomniatic (I know that’s not really a word, but, well, it is now).  I’m known for my inability to sleep. But what is little known about true insomniatics is that we are also known for our ability to sleep anywhere (the National Portrait Gallery in London, the New York City Fourth-of-July fireworks [...]

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Blood and Cookies

As a product of 12 years of parochial school, I’m not a particularly religious person.  However, if the bite marks on my butt are anything but positive proof, I have learned that what goes around comes around.  This is why, whenever I get the chance, I try to do a full Karma Flush to cleanse [...]

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The Worst Holiday of the year

One of the things that I love about America is that we have a holiday for everything.  We have holidays that celebrate gluttony, drunkenness, greed, and vanity (among others).  I’m okay with all of those, and Woo!  Hoo!  for us.  But the one I hate the most is the one that celebrates uncomfortableness.  Valentine’s Day [...]

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    Kaye Ernst

    Born and raised on the Jersey Shore, a few years ago I decided to trade sand for pea gravel and make the Poconos my full-time home. I now live in a beautiful gated community with the world's cutest dog, Layla. Hopefully, my musings will make some ... Read Full
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