#RenaissanceoftheSitcom

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 17, 2012 | Leave a comment

(This is an extended preview of Sunday’s PopRox column in the Pocono Record. It’s like finding a Blu-ray Easter egg right here. Also, I’m gonna start a hashtag with this, feel free to use it yourself and get to trending. #RenaissanceoftheSitcom, yo.)

There was the reality era.

The game show period.

The vampire trend.

Television networks have tried it all over the last decade, anything to tear eyeballs away from cable, your computer or your iPhone.

Now, it’s time for a return to a time-honored and tested TV format. Welcome to “The Renaissance of the Sitcom.” Woops. I mean, #RenaissanceoftheSitcom.

there is probably no seinfeld on the schedule for next year. but at least the networks are trying again.

After years of transition and blatant ignorance, TV networks have re-discovered the sitcom format — traditional and otherwise — and plan to force it down our throats in the fall. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Networks have developed no more than five great, lasting dramas over the last five years or so, and only The Good Wife is still hanging around as an example of how good network drama can be. Meanwhile, look at the great sitcoms developed over the last five years like Modern Family, The Middle, Raising Hope, New Girl, Happy Endings, Community, Parks and Recreation and Suburgatory. It’s pretty safe to say comedy development is far outpacing drama at TV networks.

Fresh ideas? Got ‘em. Great, untapped comedic talent? It’s in there. Tight, funny writing? Check. The sitcom is where it’s at these days on network TV — even though none of them can touch Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Justified, Dexter or even Sons of Anarchy on cable. But sitcoms is where it’s at these days on the networks.

Here’s a quick guide to the sitcoms of the fall, those that are returning and the new ones you’ll want to familiarize yourself with:

this is post-friends try #3 for miss chanandler bong. let's hope it goes better than studio 60.

THE FACES

It’s hard to start any TV show without a recognizable face, but networks must have decided to load up on behind-the-scenes talent and funny premises rather than shell out the big bucks for big comedy names. NBC is the only network that landed a huge sitcom name when it scheduled Go On starring Matthew Perry as a grieving widower for 9 p.m. Tuesdays. That’s not to say there are no sitcom veterans — Sarah Chalke (Elliott on Scrubs) gets a midseason show at ABC on How to Live with Your Parents for the Rest of Your Life, Mindy Kaling (Kelly on The Office) is producing, writing and starring in The Mindy Project and even Tempestt Bledsoe (Vanessa on The Cosby Show) has found her way back to a sitcom on Guys with Kids. Reba McEntire is back, too. But it’s obvious the networks were looking for new faces to save on big-star paychecks. Sorry, Kelsey Grammer. Looks like you’re sticking with Boss for a while.

she'll be too loud in syndication for years to come

THE THEORY

Everything in TV is cyclical. When Lost, 24 and The Sopranos were ruling the airwaves and the reality craze was in high-gear, sitcoms were pushed to the back burner. Networks executives wanted to see the next Survivor or Grey’s Anatomy, not the next Frasier. Then a funny thing happened. As production companies continued to cash Seinfeld syndication checks a decade after it left the air, networks found out they couldn’t sell Lost or Biggest Loser into syndication because fans already knew the twists — which was the best part about watching a show like that. Then CBS sold the syndication rights for Big Bang Theory for a gazillion dollars, and the head of every network got on the horn with its development team and told them to find the next great sitcom. That was Modern Family — which sold for a reported $1.5 million per episode in syndication rights. If Modern Family makes it six seasons — a very, very conservative estimate since it just finished its third season as the highest-rated scripted show on TV -- at 22 episodes each season, that’s 132 episodes and $198 million to the network and production company for doing nothing. The shows have already been produced, paid for and aired. The show is profitable already, and then you’re going to throw $200 million more into its coffers. For doing nothing. With TV revenues in the toilet, cable syndication deals are the trend du jour to pad the long-lasting revenue stream only sitcoms can provide. And this will always be funny.

tough night for kelly kapoor.

THE BATTLES

For the last few years, every network has worked to establish its own sitcom beachhead. They seemed content with just one night of its own to trick people into thinking it still cared about sitcoms. Well, they’re not content anymore. CBS fired the first shot last year by shifting Big Bang Theory to Thursdays, essentially killing NBC’s night of comedy. Now it’s setting up the kill shot by moving 2.5 Men to 8:30 Thursdays and possibly taking out NBC’s traditional Thursday night comedy block for good. Fox, ABC and NBC are all taking dead aim at each other on Tuesday nights, with each scheduling its buzziest new comedies for the night. NBC is investing the most, with Go On and the Ryan Murphy-created The New Normal at 9 and 9:30 p.m. and ABC is moving young stars Happy Endings and Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23 to those times. That’s a shot across the bow of Fox, with the darling New Girl and talked-about new show The Mindy Project. NBC (Whitney and Community) and ABC (Last Man Standing and McEntire’s Malibu Country) go head-to-head with its discards on Fridays at 8 and 8:30 p.m. NBC will try to make an inroad into Wednesdays with Animal Practice and Guys with Kids at 8 and 8:30 p.m. Although from the look of the unfunny Guys with Kids trailer, anyone who watches that over Suburgatory should probably have their TV taken away on general principle.

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CBS Continues on its Quest to Kill Comedy

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 16, 2012 | Leave a comment

(NOTE: We’re sticking with upfronts this week. So if you wanna read about Battleship director Peter Berg going nuts on an Israeli journalist or all the pageantry of Cannes, looks like you’ll have to do that elsewhere. Up this afternoon is CBS …)

You know in those war movies where some powerful guy is plotting out war against another country, and he’s so powerful and sinister that he can make the mean face, scream something incomprehensible like, “Schizneil!” and crush the buildings of the other country on the map he’s plotting things out on?

stepping up to the big leagues

That powerful warmonger? That’s Lesley Moonves. He’s the head of CBS at a time when CBS is the most powerful country TV network there is. When other networks are ordering six, seven or a dozen new shows to put on the air this year because everything else failed, CBS will debut all of three in the fall. And they don’t even need to throw out that many, they just are because their shows that 10 million people watched isn’t a big enough audience. Meanwhile, other TV shows that will remain unnamed — never mind, I’m talking about PopRox faves Community and Fringe — get renewed without even averaging 4 million viewers this year. On CBS, those shows would be toast on a stick. On NBC and Fox, they get another year.

And that country he’s crushing with his maniacal laugh? That’s NBC, the network that hasn’t had much to hang its hat on lately. Actually, it even sold the hat rack at hock a couple weeks ago, so now it literally has nothing to hang its hat on. But if it had one thing, it had its critically acclaimed but low-rated Thursday night comedy block. It’s been a tradition at NBC since the early 80s of Cosby Show-Family Ties-Cheers fame. CBS moved what could have been an outmatched pawn — Big Bang Theory — into NBC’s enemy comedy territory this season. That one pawn took down any semblance of remaining ratings for NBC on Thursday. CBS saw the blood in the water when NBC trotted out the near-identical Thursday lineup for 2012-13, and decided to send in the reinforcements to completely kill NBC’s comedy block.

hmmm, is there even anything else on thursdays? maybe if i google it ...

Now, we have what CBS is calling its “super comedy block” with Two and a Half Men moving to 8:30 p.m. Thursdays. That pretty much will destroy the ratings of 30 Rock at 8 and Up All Night at 8:30, the latter of which could be canceled by Thanksgiving when 30 Rock wraps up its run. Hopefully NBC realizes this and puts some kind of counter-programming on there from now on, or else it’s going to be sacrificing its new investments shows.

CBS could have just tried another freshman comedy at 8:30 p.m. Thursdays, like the failed How to Be a Gentleman of this year, but this is almost a do-over. They saw they couldn’t debut a comedy on Thursdays, so it moved 2.5 Men to Thursdays and debuted the new comedy Partners on the comedy-protected 8:30 p.m. Monday slot. The same slot, incidentally, that launched the only legitimate sitcom hit of 2011-12, 2 Broke Girls.

For once, let’s give CBS the credit it whole-heartedly deserves. CBS may be boring, formulaic and downright sleep-inducing in its shows and its scheduling, but at least it’s following formulas that have proven to work, almost without fail. When it makes a scheduling mistake — like How to Be a Gentleman — it corrects it the next year instead of just throwing more money into a bad investment.

And that’s why more people watch its shows than any other network.

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ABC, the Accommodating Broadcast Channel

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 15, 2012 | 2 Comments

If nothing else, you have to thank ABC for being so accommodating with its 2012-13 schedule.

yes, it's true. this woman deserves her own show.

“Awwww, how sweet! You put that Tim Allen garbage and the new Reba McEntire retread all the way out there on Fridays so it won’t bother me. You shouldn’t have! And Last Resort, one of the few new dramas premiering that looks watchable, is in a somewhat vulnerable position for me right now, thanks!”

The chance ABC executives had me and my viewing habits in mind when they designed the 2012-13 fall TV schedule are pretty slim. But it sure looks that way. The very thought of seeing the Reba McEntire show anywhere near the network’s Wednesday comedy lineup — two years ago, it would have been — made my brain hurt when I heard the show was in development earlier this year. Best solution? Banish it to Friday under a new TGIF moniker and viola! I never have to worry about it again. The fact that it could take the unwatchable Last Man Standing with it — opening the way for a new comedy block on Tuesday — is a big bonus.

And when you tell me there is a new soapy-type show about women in country music and dealing with the Nashville industry … well, then I’ll tell you I have something else to do that night. Whatever night it’s on. But then if you add in that Connie Britton is the star of the show, I’m giving it a try, at least. She’s earned that kind of leeway.

anytime frank pembleton gets back on tv is a good time

Then you can tell me about the network’s biggest, most anticipated drama of the season, Shawn Ryan’s Last Resort, starring I’ll-watch-anything-he-does Andre Braugher, getting a cushy spot at 8 p.m. Thursdays right when my 8 p.m. Thursdays spot is about to open. 30 Rock is gone after 13 weeks and I’m still debating about whether to drop Vampire Diaries when it comes back. There are very few spots open on my weekly viewing schedule, but ABC was nice enough to schedule its one new show I was interested in at the one time that might turn available. How nice!

Wait, another gift? Moving Revenge to Sundays at 9 — when I’m watching Good Wife, no un-football related questions asked — was a great place for me to continue to ignore it. You shouldn’t have!

I could have done without Happy Endings going up against both New Girl and Go On directly, but I couldn’t have everything, right? Right. That’s what OnDemand and DVRs are for.

So thanks, ABC. You didn’t have to make my TV viewing life easier, but you did.

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Spoiling the Upfronts

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 14, 2012 | Leave a comment

It’s December. It’s almost Christmas. You can’t wait to get your presents and give other people theirs.

Then on Dec. 10, your mom tells you, “We got you a new wallet.”

On Dec. 18, your sister says, “Just so you know, I got you some new shoes.”

Then on Dec. 22, five other people tell you what you’re getting for Christmas. They’re not giving you any of it, mind you. They’re just telling you what it is.

You’ll still have your Christmas dinners, your events with your family and friends, and you’ll still actually be getting your presents … but isn’t Christmas about 35 percent less fun that year?

That’s kinda how Upfront Week feels right now. It used to be that until the second the networks announced their schedules for the next fall TV season, we didn’t know if our favorite shows were coming back or not. For gheey fans of TV (me), it was like Christmas.

Now, thanks to the little leaks and the heightened journalistic attention paid to Upfront Week, things are different. Our presents are getting spoiled in the weeks leading up Upfronts. We already have a pretty good idea of what’s coming back and what isn’t. That can be good — it lessens the anxiety for fans to have these things parceled out in small doses. It’s good for the show, too. If you know your show is coming back, you’re going to allow yourself to get more invested in the story, and hence, the entire show.

But if it’s something you look forward to, forget it. It’s never gonna be like it was. Your Christmas will be ruined for the foreseeable future.

Some quick highlights of what happened over the weekend and at today’s Upfronts, which featured Fox and NBC unveiling their lineups:

if you're looking for lord tubbington, you'll have to find him on thursdays next season

Fox: We knew exactly what we were getting for returning shows — The Finder, Breaking In and Alcatraz gone, Fringe and Touch sticking around. Now we got to the schedule part of it to find that Glee is moving to Thursdays at 9, which makes sense. The show doesn’t have the same buzz it had at the start of the second season, and its fourth season is going to be pivotal. The kids are out of high school, they’re gonna be who knows where, so it’s a definite transition time. It can’t hurt for the show to be guarded by the post-X Factor and Idol spot in the lineup. Touch is now going to be on Friday with Fringe, like it’s some kind of invitation for people to stop watching. I’m already like five episodes behind, so I don’t know if that’s going to get back on my radar or not. Bones moves to Monday, and the network rolls out a sitcom Tuesday lineup. For the first time that I can remember for the last however many years, every network now has a strictly sitcom lineup Sunday-Thursday. And one is even trying its hand on Friday … 

is maya rudolph still annoying in this? yeah? ok well wake me when she isn't.

NBC: The wild card of the networks just because of the sheer volume of shows it said it would be debuting this year. Most of them will be premiering midseason, with a few spread out through the fall. The network is making a run at being The Sitcom Network — it has sitcoms Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, more nights than any other network — which could be a change people are looking for. But this is the same network that thought The Jay Leno Show was a good idea, so there you go. The Thursday lineup stays kinda intact, with the series finale for 30 Rock coming in November or December, it would seem, and then some other comedy launching in January. Up All Night, one of its shows on the bubble, moves in to the Thursday comedy mix at 8:30, and Office and Parks and Rec stick at 9 and 9:30, where they always should have been. NBC can say all it wants to about the positives of moving a show to Friday, but there is a stigma attached to it that is supported by the ratings. People don’t watch TV on Fridays. At least not a lot of them. So when you move a show to Fridays, you better be ready to live with terrible, awful, horrible ratings. Because that’s what you’ll get. If you’re looking for anything else, you’re kidding yourself and the show’s fans. So Community and Whitney? They’re probably gone. But at least we know that now and we can start to plan for it. I’ve only checked out a couple of the trailers so far, but my immediate reaction is The New Normal looks good, Go On looks OK, and Guys with Kids makes you wonder why shows like this get bought. It looks like a far less funny version of Up All Night, which isn’t that funny in the first place. But for whatever kind of criticism you’d like to level at NBC, they brought back Community, Parks and Rec and 30 Rock. I didn’t care what happened after that.

back. with penny. oh well, you can't get everything you want.

ABC: Nice try, GCB. And Ashley Judd. Actually, Judd’s wasn’t such a good try. It was a pretty boring try, actually. Body of Proof somehow got a renewal, don’t ask me how, as did Don’t Trust the B, which does deserve some more time on the air. Happy Endings got a full season, which makes sense if Body of Proof is getting a renewal. Otherwise, I’d think something is seriously up with the fabric of reality.

CBS: Did you know CSI: Miami had an amazing TV legacy? Me neither. It gave us the Caruso face, sure, but didn’t we already have that thanks to Kiss of Death? Yeah, we did. Anyway, it’s gone. And I can honestly say I never watched one second of the show in 10 years. Not even by accident. Not surprisingly, Unforgettable and a couple other CBS shows are gone. So that takes care of its bubble before its Upfront presentation.

CW: Gossip Girl will be back for a short season, Ringer and Secret Circle will not be back at all. Good riddance to bad rubbish on Ringer. I don’t watch Nikita with anything resembling regularity anymore, but I’ve always liked it and am glad it keeps getting renwed even though the ratings are just ridiculously bad.

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Upfront Update and Finale Watch Time

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 11, 2012 | Leave a comment

I just can’t get to local links today, we have too much going on in TV. And I’m too invested in it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from studying my click-throughs, it’s that you guys love yourselves some renew/cancel news. and I am nothing if not an accommodating man. So here’s the latest at each network (bold indicates PopRox-approved shows) before Upfronts next week. I’m not hitting all of the canceled or awaiting renewal shows, just the ones I think are interesting. If you’re looking for an update on Charlie’s Angels, head back to December. 

If you’re tired of this and can’t take it anymore, scroll down and you can check out reviews for the season finales of New Girl, Vampire Diaries and Parks and Recreation. If you can’t take that anymore either, umm, sorry. See ya next week.

i'm actually happy parenthood will be back. and no, it has nothing to do with the possibility of minka kelly returning. really, it doesn't. ok, maybe it does a little.

NBC: The network is just batcrap crazy these days. They’ve obviously bought too many shows to fit in its fall season, so there is going to be some major winter/spring season scheduling. Because, apparently, it went so well for Perfect Couples and Bent the last two years. Let’s not bother with the new stuff, we have all summer to watch trailers and pilots. But we finally got word Thursday that Parenthood and (most likely) Office will be back next year, both for full seasons. 

Renewed: Community, Law and Order: SVU, Parenthood, Grimm, Fashion Star, Smash, Office (just about), 30 Rock

Recent canceled or done: Nothing since the beginning of the year.

Important still waiting shows: Parks and Rec (see below), Up All Night, Harry’s Law, Whitney, Awake

bring it back, just for another halloween episode

ABC: This … this is not good. I’m worried about Happy Endings. I know it doesn’t hold Modern Family’s audience, I know it’s a little talky and a little too Sorkin-esque for a lot of people, but damn if it isn’t one of the funniest shows on TV. Like, cable funny. It’s one of the few network shows that can go toe-to-toe with any comedy on HBO, Showtime, Comedy Central, FX, wherever, and not have to give an inch. But after ABC’s round of renewals last night, Happy Endings isn’t on the list. That’s not cool.

Renewed: Modern Family, Once Upon a Time, The Middle, Suburgatory, Revenge, Castle, Grey’s Anatomy, Bachelor, Shark Tank, Dancing with the Stars

Recently canceled or done: Cougar Town, technically, since it’s moving to TBS.

Important still waiting shows: Happy Endings, Don’t Trust the B–, Body of Proof, GCB, Last Man Standing, Private Practice, Scandal

not a surprise that alcatraz is gone

FOX: With Touch coming back, it’s pretty well set.

Renewed: Simpsons, Family Guy, Fringe, Glee, New Girl, Raising Hope, Touch, American Dad, Kitchen Nightmares, The Cleveland Show, Bob’s Burgers, X Factor

Recently canceled or done: Alcatraz, The Finder, Breaking In (again), I Hate This Show My Teenage Daughter, House

CBS: Zzzzzzz … zzzzzzzz … wait, what, who’s there? Oh, sorry. Fell asleep just thinking about CBS.

Renewed: Announced a while back that just about everything would come back for next year.

Recent canceled or done: A Gifted Man

Important still waiting shows: CSI NY and Miami, Two and a Half Men, Unforgettable

CW: Yup, it’s still on the air.

Renewed: Vampire Diaries (see below), Supernatural, 90210, America’s Next Top Model

Recently canceled: Nada recently.

Important stil waiting shows: Gossip Girl, Nikita, Secret Circle, Sucker Ringer, Hart of Dixie. And yeah, I know those are all stretching “important” so we’ll say “interesting.”

she's completely up to you. i can't push you one way or the other.

NEW GIRL: This is one of those shows that I really like, but I feel like I should never recommend. It’s a very funny show, has improved about 200 percent since the start of the year — when it was still very good — and makes me laugh at least five times an episode. The Nick riffs at the end of each episode (“Be nicer to Coach or he’ll find other white people to live with”) are hysterical and have become one of TV’s best running gags. These are all good things. Maybe I’m just not ready to go to bat for New Girl if push came to shove, and I know it. When there is a threat that Community might get canceled, I get all talky and vindictive and threatening in a “How dare you NBC!!!” and a “Tanks fer nuttin’, Middle America!!!” kind of way. I think Community is a perfect look into my own sense of humor, so I don’t mind standing up for it. Same for other shows like Happy Endings, South Park or Arrested Development. Those four shows are good indicators of what I define to be “funny.” New Girl is close — it’s just not totally there. CC is pretty painful and it doesn’t seem like she knows what funny would be if it dropped from the sky, fell on her face and started to wiggle. Winston is like Shawn Respert — can’t create his own shot. He’s decent when he’s playing off someone, but if it’s up to him, he’s not creating any laughs. And yeah, I just made a Shawn Respert analogy. Google it, bee-yatches. But Nick is probably my new favorite character of the year and Schmidt has improved so ridiculously much over the past few months I can’t even adequately explain it. So here we are, just me and Zooey Deshasomething. And now I’m realizing — she’s the reason I can’t recommend her own show. I can tell you that a I really like it, but she’s such an acquired taste, an instant like-her-or-lump-her talent that you’re almost scared to talk about her for fear of being lumped in with the rest of the hipsters. Me? I like her. Or I at least like the show, or her in the show. I don’t like her music, I wanted her to die in (500) Days of Summer and she brought absolutely nothing to the table in Yes Man, which I guess was the point. So I certainly wouldn’t call myself a fan of hers, especially when I can only truly recommend her recently in Your Highness. And maybe that’s why I can’t stand up solidly for the show, because I’m not ready to stand in her corner. That doesn’t mean the show — or Deshasomething — can’t be funny. Or very good. It just means I don’t feel comfortable enough to be the one responsible for having you watch the show, only to be barraged with angry emails with disparaging links to Stuff White People Like. Anyway, I really liked the finale, and I really like the show. That’s all I’ll say. FINALE GRADE: B+. SEASON GRADE: B+.

all this and paul rudd? why isn't anyone watching?

PARKS AND RECREATION: NBC has been taking some of the anxiety off its comedy fans, renewing Office, Community and 30 Rock. Strangely, Parks and Rec isn’t on that list, which is weird since it’s been its best comedy this year. It’s not going to get the ratings of The Office, the extreme geek love Community gets or the teacher’s pet treatment 30 Rock receives. But there’s poor Parks and Rec, the most consistently funny of the bunch this season, sitting there twiddling its Thumbs, waiting for the phone to ring like a girl waiting for a prom date. “Hey, Aziz, get off the phone making prank calls, NBC might be calling! I better call them and make sure they didn’t call. Did you call? No? OK, umm, well, we’ll just wait in case you need to call.” It sucks. Maybe they’re negotiating between a full season and a shortened season, who knows. But from a quality standpoint, if any of NBC’s Thursday comedies deserves to be renewed from a quality standpoint, it’s Parks and Rec. Even better than just laughs, you get genuine emotion and character development. Even with my windows and doors closed last night, the pollen count in the Sadowski living room was off the charts when Ben said he never wrote the concession speech. At least it must have been, because my eyes were starting to water for some reason. It’s everything we ask our comedies to be. It deserves another 22-episode season. And incidentally, does anyone play drunk better than Rashida Jones? It’s a pet peeve of mine, when someone can’t play drunk. I’ve never forgiven Nicole Kidman for her ridiculous “drunk” performance in Eyes Wide Shut, which, remarkably, was the worst part of that movie. But Jones continues to move up my Funny Lady List because she can actually pull off drunk, and make it totally believeable. She’s done it like three times on Parks and Rec, and she’s nailed it every time. FINALE GRADE: A. SEASON GRADE: A.

so, a cheerleader, huh? no other way for us to figure out we're in the past?

VAMPIRE DIARIES: (MAJOR SPOILER ALERTS COMING, WATCH OUT!!!) I’d all but given up on V-Di, as the cool kids call it. And for the most part, I still have. The logic of this season has been laughable, even by V-Di standards. And the standards of vampire/werewolf/witch logic overall. You can almost envision the writers sitting around in a room planning this season thinking, “Do you really think all these teenage girls who live for this show will really buy that Rick can have a vengeful alter ego that we can turn into a vampire who hates vampires? Yeah? Then let’s go with it!” And that was just at the top of the list — the top 10 travesties of the logic of the third season of V-Di are just too much to even think about, let alone list. But for a show like this, the sins of a season can almost always be offset by a killer (see what I did there?) finale, one that makes you excited for what could be coming next year. And that’s exactly what V-Di delivered — a great, suspenseful finale. We had some needed cast trimming (Rick, Matt maybe), the preferred amount of Stefan-Damon interaction and the brooding/stand-up comedian/tough nuts version of Damon we’ve come to know and love without making a big deal about it. Better yet, we had something the show hasn’t had in months — logic. There were three or four times in the finale where I said, “Aww, c’mon, not again!” because I saw the show drifting into sloppy, unexplainable territory. And every time, the show offered up a perfectly logical, perfectly suitable explanation. Damon shows up in Elena’s past? Oh, wait, he can compel her, right. Rick gets killed then shows up immediately at the Gilbert house? Oh, right, Jeremy is the Haley Joel Osment of the show. Elena is alive? Oh right, the doctor lady has her full arsenal of vampire blood that shed on her before evil Rick dumped it all out. Does it make sense in the real world? Of course not! But this isn’t the real world. Mystic Falls gets a little latitude. And for at least one episode, they made it all make sense. FINALE GRADE: A-. SEASON GRADE: Was a D, now a C-.

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Your Upfront Week Preview

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 10, 2012 | Leave a comment

(This is an extended preview of the PopRox column in Sunday’s paper. Not that you shouldn’t still read that one. You should. It will have prettier pictures.)

Starting Monday and through the rest of the week, you’ll know whether your favorite network television show is coming back, as Upfront Week is upon us. the news is already bad for some Fox shows like The Finder, Breaking In and Alcatraz. But Touch is going to live to fight again next year.

Around here, Upfront Week is a little like Christmas Week. Or Vacation Week. Or any comparable week without work.

Why wait? Here are some things to be looking for from the networks this week:

sorry, annie. you've had your chance. now go tend to pete before he starts diddling some more gilmore girls.

A new NBC lineup

You know that old “throw it all at the wall and see what sticks” saying? In the TV business, that’s usually done in meeting rooms and the behind-the-scenes development process. On NBC, it’s apparently done on the air, on the fly. The network has already ordered six (!) new comedies for the 2012-13 season and a J.J. Abrams-produced adventure show, so it could be house-cleaning time at the Peacock. Again. (You can check out how the network might/should go about their scheduling conundrum in yesterday’s blog.) You can only keep low-rated critical darlings (eh hem, Community) on the air for so long, and NBC could be realizing that now. Then again, these new comedies could be doomed spring-time burn-offs NBC has been infamous for over the last two years. Right, Paul Reiser Show?

Less reality. Pretty please?

Maybe, just maybe, we’ve finally reached the apex of the reality TV craze. Oh, there is still going to be plenty of it. There just doesn’t seem like there will be too much new reality programming on network TV taking up valuable real estate in the fall schedule. The entrenched veterans — Survivor, Dancing with the Stars, Biggest Loser, etc. — aren’t going anywhere. But X Factor wasn’t the huge hit Fox planned it to be and the other reality show that debuted last fall, the CW’s H8R was an unmitigated failure. Maybe we’ll see networks get back to programming original, scripted series. Then maybe we can all sleep a little better at night knowing the reality TV apocalypse has been thwarted, at least for another year.

hey! we're still on the air, you know!

Some risk-taking?

Unless you’re under the mistaken impression that House and Desperate Housewives are still major hits, then there won’t be any big losses from the network schedule after this season. Or at least nothing that can’t be filled in. Everything from the top 20 highest-rated shows of the year and of the last week in April is expected to come back next year, so the networks have their stalwarts ready. Maybe that gives them a little latitude to take a chance or two when it comes to the rest of the schedule, some high-risk, high-reward shows. The kinds of ambitious shows we normally only get on cable (think Breaking Bad or American Horror Story) that are more than just a primetime soap opera or laugh-track comedy. I almost wrote all that with a straight face. Almost.

clever caption about wine goes here.

Same-old, same-old

Even if there is some risk-taking, most of the schedules will feel almost exactly the same as you see them now. The new shows that are going to be brought in are going to fit around already established shows — which won’t be moving from their prescribed nights. Modern Family isn’t going to be yanked from Wednesday and shifted to Tuesday to take down New Girl and Fox’s Animation Domination thing isn’t randomly moving from Sunday to Thursday. More than ever, it seems like networks are sufficiently happy with the types of programming they have on each night and are willing to set their schedules around those themes. One suggested change: ABC should turn Tuesday into an all-comedy lineup in between Dancing with the Stars cycles. Keep Last Man Standing at 8 p.m., develop a new family comedy for 8:30, then go back-to-back with Cougar Town and Don’t Trust the B— in Apartment 23 for a four-month, no-repeat run from late November to early March. Oops, never mind, since Cougar Town won’t be on ABC anymore. Maybe Happy Endings then?

Any surprise cancellations?

The last thing any network wants these days is to off a hit show over money issues. Yet, here we are talking about two of them — The Office and Two and a Half Men, both of which are still trying to finalize contracts of their major stars. By the time this runs Sunday, the financial details may be ironed out and we’ll be getting both shows back safe and sound. But right now, we don’t know what these shows will look like when they come back. Oops, sorry about that. If they come back.

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The NBC Smart Comedy Farewell Tour

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 9, 2012 | Leave a comment

Apparently NBC is trying to make us all mental heading in to Upfronts next week. Well, at least those of us who remain under the delusion that anyone with a brain in their head or an appreciation for good comedy should be watching its Thursday night comedy lineup.

the good news in all of the nbc pick-ups -- taylor labine is getting another shot at a show.

The network has already said it’s picking up five somewhat promising comedies and an hour-long JJ Abrams adventure show next year, leaving little room for its on-the-bubble shows to stay on the schedule. It is the only network making pick-up announcements so far. It’s like NBC knows the Twitter poop-storm it’s about to enter when it cancels its current comedies. So it’s trying to soften the blow to loyal and rabid but relatively miniscule fans of Community and Parks and Recreation by releasing these little nuggets of news concerning the picked-up shows. “We’re picking up five new comedies and making a BFD about all of them. Do the math, people.”

Time now to rationally and honestly map out the options NBC has with its new shows and old lineup to talk this through, without just saying, “Eff you, NBC.” Which is tempting, believe me, since I boycotted NBC for years after it canceled NewsRadio and Homicide in the same year. The Office was the first thing that made me tune back in. But I’m really going to try to be calm about the network possibly ending three — or four, if it chooses to end The Office — of the funniest shows of the last decade.

OPTION 1. It completely kicks its current comedy lineup to the curb. It’s tired of the low ratings and is ready to give someone else a try at a show that can get attention from someone other than a TV critic. Parks and Rec, Community? It was nice knowing ya. Office? Here’s what you can do with your contract negotiations. ODDS: 20-1. It’s actually pretty viable, and the series pick-ups certainly point that way.

these three deserve another year.

OPTION 2. It’s looking to start a second comedy beach head night, even though its first one on Thursday is in ratings shambles. Maybe a suicide Wednesday night lineup with some variation of Community, Save Me, The New Normal and Parks and Rec, with a Thursday lineup of The Office, Go On, 30 Rock and 1600 Penn so you could have the tagline of something like, “the two funniest addresses on TV!” before anyone realizes they’re the only two addresses on TV. And that’s just assuming Whitney and Up All Night will be canceled. What if they’re not? ODDS: 8-1. This does nothing to strengthen any of the shows, the newbies or the veterans.

OPTION 3. Maybe NBC renews all of its comedies — even Are You There Chelsea -- and becomes the all-comedy network, with brief spats of The Voice, Smash and Biggest Loser. Hey, they’ve tried everything else, right? Why not just go with comedies which are cheaper to produce and worth tens of millions more in syndication? ODDS: 100,000-1. Can you imagine the apathy that would accompany the headline, “NBC renews Bent for a second season.”

OPTION 4. It loves the new shows now, cools on them in a week, decides to push the debuts back a smidge, then burns them off in April like it’s done the past two years to doomed shows like Bent, Best Friends Forever and The Paul Reiser Show. They can’t keep doing that. Can they? ODDS: 25-1.

OPTION 5: Some kind of hybrid of all of them. As much as I love NBC’s Thursday comedy lineup, it’s time for all of us who do to come to the realization that we’re in the severe minority. Severe. We can’t expect TV networks to keep airing shows that nobody watches, or those networks go out of business. But you’re also alienating some of your best, most active audience members when you just cut these shows out. Sooooooo …

they can do a full season of troy and abed in the morning, and i'd watch

Say hello to the NBC Smart Comedy Farewell Tour, coming soon to a Facebook page near you. All four of the current Thursday night comedies announce their final season at upfronts next week. Office works out their contract crap for one more full season, and Community, Parks and Rec and 30 Rock get 13-episode orders for their final seasons.

Now follow me. The Summer Olympics (airing on NBC) end Sunday, Aug. 12. Starting that Thursday, Aug. 16, to May 23, 2013, there are 41 Thursdays. If NBC gives its loyal comedy fans a 13-episode order for each of Community, Parks and Rec and 30 Rock, then it could air each final season in separate 13-week blocks airing at 9:30 p.m. after The Office. Whatever show would air first would end on Nov. 15 (because of a one-week break for an Office one-hour season premiere on Sept. 20). Nov. 22 is Thanksgiving. Perfect! A week break. Then next week, Nov. 29, Community starts and goes 13 straight weeks that, literally, no one will watch other than me. I’m cool with that. It ends Feb. 21 (sweeps!) and 30 Rock’s final 13 episodes start up, taking us right to May 23. Actually, 30 Rock gets 14 episodes so it can air a one-hour series finale. All the other finales of your freshman shows air the week before, then give us the one-hour 30 Rock and Office finales back-to-back.

There. Done.

Everyone is happy. NBC gets to promote its new shows with the promise of having its loyal fans still tuning in, and the fans get months of fair notice to deal with their favorite shows ending. And the ends of shows are staggered, so NBC isn’t losing them all at the same time and the fans won’t have to go through any major withdrawals.

Doesn’t this almost make too much sense? If you’re a programmer at NBC, you’re at least considering this, right? Umm, right?

Right. Make it so. Because we need more of this.

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Avengers, Stern and Jennifer Love Hewitt

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 8, 2012 | Leave a comment

(For some unknown reason, this didn’t post on Monday. My bad. Hope this is still semi-enjoyable.)

Linkage:

yeah, i'm not looking up any new avengers pictures anymore.

Why stop now? I managed to post something about Avengers for, like, 20 straight posts, so how could I possibly resist when it just sets the record — excuse me, obliterates the record — for opening weekend box office? For all the talk about how box office numbers are going kaput, Avengers is here to tell you differently. It’s the culmination of a meticulous six-year plan from Marvel that started when Marvel broke off from Universal and started making its own movies, and started with the scripting for the original Iron Man movie. So we’re not just talking about one movie that’s made this record. We’re talking about five movies — Iron Man 1 and 2, Incredible Hulk, Thor and Captain America — that worked in unison to make this record happen. It’s a thing of Hollywood beauty that also shows you the good side of Hollywood business. Somehow, Marvel convinced a bunch of very good actors used to being stars to work together to make a great movie and guarantee the financial success of Disney for a decade to come. Like it needed it, but still. It’s movie-making, planning and marketing perfectly combined. They should teach classes on saga of The Avengers at USC film school or something.

and i'm only a super casual beasties fan, if there is such a thing. real fans took it really hard.

When the news of Adam Yauch’s death came over Friday afternoon, I didn’t have two spare seconds to update the blog post for the day, so all I could do was throw together a quick Facebook post about my favorite Beasties songs. After thinking about it for a weekend, two things I don’t think many people mentioned:

1. I don’t want remaining Beastie Boys Ad Rock and Mike D to ever play any kind of show ever again. Ever. They’re in the Rock and Roll HOF so they don’t have to do that. They’ve already saved Tibet or whatever, so they don’t have to do that. There are only a couple bands ever whose members are so intertwined that you can’t imagine someone being replaced for whatever reason, including death. And this is coming from a huge Springsteen fan that had no problem with Bruce picking up and touring again a couple months after Clarence Clemons died. So the list is pretty small. Beasties are on that list. It wouldn’t sound the same, it wouldn’t feel the same, it wouldn’t be the same. So please, Mike D and Ad Rock, don’t try it. Just let us Pandora you guys to our heart’s content.

2. There are also only a few bands in my lifetime that have been able to survive by adapting. They had about a dozen different styles, all of them incredible. Listen to Fight for your Right. Then listen to Intergalactic. Then listen to Pass the Mic. Then listen to Get It Together. If you never listened to Beasties before, there’s only a 50/50 shot you say those four songs were made by the same group of people. And if you get it, you might only get it because Ad Rock’s voice is so distinct. It’s one thing to experiment with a new sound or style, but another thing completely to be successful with it. Beasties were successful in just about every new style they tried. This is probably a good time to mention my wife and I made sure our wedding closed with Sabotage. That’s how you make everyone remember your wedding, people.

With upfronts only a week away, we’re getting pretty close to finding out whether our favorite TV shows will be back or not. One clearly on the cancellation bubble — Cougar Town. ABC has been jerking the show around all year, clearly not seeing it worthy enough to leave in its powerful Wednesday night comedy lineup, then not bothering to show the new season until February. And that was only when the horrendously unwatchable Work It died the painful death it deserved. These are not the actions of a network with faith in a show, so it wouldn’t be surprising at all to see it get canned next week. The talk now is that TBS would grab it if it did get canned, which sounds like a pretty good idea on the surface, but why would it bother paying for new episodes of what has to be a pretty expensive series? TBS gets great ratings just paying for the syndication rights to Family Guy and Big Bang Theory, why screw things up? But good for them for realizing that’s not a sustainable business model, and realizing you have to take some chances. Then again, none of this is necessarily true and Cougar Town could be gone for good in a week. So there’s that.

more like this, thanks.

The Client List is coming back on Lifetime no matter what. I actually tried to watch this over the weekend, to no avail. JLH butchering a southern accent is no way to spend an hour. Maybe if she was just, you know, walking around without saying anything, then we’d be talking. But when she tries to do the whole acting thing, it never turns out well. It almost makes you pine for the days of her whining on Party O’ Five.

How dumb can the Parents Television Council be? Seriously, I’m asking! How dumb are they? NBC hasn’t exactly been on its game for the last decade, but does the PTC seriously, honestly think the network would do something as bold, controversial and potentially stupid as hiring Howard Stern for one of its only final, true commodities, america’s Got Talent, without talking to its sponsors to see if it’s OK? Or at least map something out to say, “OK, if we lose all 91 of our sponsors, do we have 100 on reserve to take their place that won’t give a shat what the PTC thinks? We do? Perfect, then pull the trigger.” The plan probably also included, “Let’s scale back the marketing budget, we’ll get free publicity from the PTC for a week or so on this.” Yup, the PTC has become so predictable that people can budget for it. Don’t think differently.

Just to be clear, I’ve never watched a second of The Andy Griffith Show, Mayberry RFD and don’t remember seeing George Lindsay on Hee Haw. So why the heck would I be sad about George “Goober” Lindsay being dead? Maybe because I laughed like crazy about his supposed death 15 years ago and still hold this as the only way I’d know George Lindsay:

i still watch this and think, "maybe he'll stop in the middle of it and realize how nuts he sounds."

I’m getting old, I realize this. And there are so many anniversary things of major pop culture moments from the 80s, I’ve kinda become immune to to them making me feel old. But today is a 10-year anniversary that makes me feel old — the 10-year anniversary of the Allen Iverson “practice” press conference. I had been at work all day, and that night my dad asked me, “Did you see that? Did you see that? It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen!!!” And it was. Iverson is one of my three favorite Philadelphia athletes of all time with Mike Schmidt and Randall Cunningham. I still wear his jersey. I’ve never seen a sports season like his 2000-01 season, at least not in Philly sports. Maybe Lenny Dystra’s 1993 season, but that’s it. Anyway, if all you remember about this press conference is the “practice” stuff, take 10 minutes and read the whole transcript. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Done? OK. The signs were there that Iverson was pretty clearly insane, but at least it wasn’t on display for the world to see. Until this press conference. 10 years later, I’m not sure why I didn’t bet $1,000 on the 10,000-1 shot of “Allen Iverson will be out of the NBA, will have played in Turkey for a month and will not have a dime to his name.” It should have been a n0-brainer. What gets me is that everyone remembers the “We’re talkin’ ’bout practice” part, but no one mentions the other half-hour of this masterpiece where he clearly exhibits a textbook cry for help. He was mentally broken and he needed fixing at the ripe old age 26. It never happened, and now he’s a punchline for watching your wealth stories, grouped with the Antoine Walkers of the world. We all should have seen it in this press conference, but we never did. Now, it’s almost like watching a suicide video and laughing. But since I’m not going to change anyone’s minds, and because it is actually funny, enjoy, I guess. My favorite parts are him calling legendary Sixers beat writer Phil Jasner “Phillip.” Favorite as in a, “Cheese and rice, this guy has really lost it!” kinda way.

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Your Weekend Fun Guide, with a Quick Word from Someone That Will Never Be a Sponsor

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 4, 2012 | Leave a comment

Some very quick local links on the way but at Cinco de Mayo time I’m always reminded of one thing — my distaste and general aversion for Corona beer.

if you can go limeless, more power to ya.

I feel the same way about Corona as I do about Blue Moon. Why do I need a piece of fruit in my drink to make it taste better? Beer already tastes great, why do we have to go and throw fruit into the equation? Blue Moon actually tastes good without the orange, but Corona is like some kind of man-made pee without the lime. I don’t like the taste of man-made pee. Never have. It’s always boggled my mind how people can drink it without the lime.

Then again, it’s boggled my mind even more than people think it’s OK to drink a beer, any beer, with any kind of fruit in it. Like it or not, there’s a stereotype attached to any guy that drinks beer with fruit. And it’s not a good one. You’re not tough, you’re not a real drinker, you’re effeminate, you’re barely a man. It leads to being called out by friends or even random strangers who can’t help but notice your beer with fruit. Guys like me — and, mind you, I have no idea who “guys like me” actually are — already are self-conscious enough going into bars with hundreds of people. I get the feeling like everyone is staring at me for some reason. There’s probably some psycho-babble reason for that, but strangely, when I go out, it only lasts about an hour, then fades. Hmmmm. Wonder why?

But if I’m already feeling that way, why would I want to drink a beer that has fruit in it, and call my masculinity into question for hundreds of others to see? It’s a silly stereotype, I know. You would think we’d be over that by now. But we’re not. I’m not. If I get a beer and the bartender automatically gives me fruit in it because that’s the only way the beer would be edible, I immediately think it’s pretty girly.

My sister-in-law Heather, a former drinking partner of mine at Front Row before she moved down to Virginia Beach, puts a slice of lemon in every beer she drinks because apparently it’s better for your kidneys or your liver or something. I don’t know the details, but she’s smart and healthy and teaches wellness, so I’m cool just believing her. She tried to explain it to me once, but I tuned out. She can get away with the lemon-in-the-beer thing, because she’s a girl. And even though she gets away with it from society as a whole, she doesn’t get away with it from me, or her husband or Scotty the bartender at Front Row (and still at Jock and Jill’s). We still bust her chops whenever she does it. Nevertheless, it’s pretty minimal, and as a whole, she gets away with it.

But if you’re a guy, try explaining throwing a lemon into your beer to your buddies. Or even to another girl on a first date. It would be like Seinfeld not eating meat when he dates Elaine’s cousin. “Just a lemon … just a lemon … just a lemon …”

So why is it acceptable to put a lime in Corona? Especially when there are literally hundreds of other beers available that don’t require a fruit to taste good? I understand the desire to drink Mexican beer on the American-Mexican drinking day, just like everyone wants to drink Smithwick’s or Harp on St. Patrick’s Day. I get it. But what about Dos Equis? For some reason, I only have it when I go to Mexican restaurants, but Dos Equis lager in my top 5 beers. And yet, I never buy a case of it, and never order it at any bar. Weird.

The easy answer is, it isn’t OK to do the fruit-in-beer thing. Not to me. Not if you’re a guy. Whether that’s my own misplaced societal hangup or whatever, it’s just not OK to drink a beer that requires fruit in it to taste good.

Now that I’ve sufficiently placed that idea in the back of everyone’s head, let’s have some fun tomorrow! As always, if you have an event coming up, email it to me, or send the PopRox Facebook page an invite. That’s how I get almost all of the events I throw in here:

fifth of may. i can figure that much out.

Of course the Blue Tequila in Minisink Hills is doing something for Cinco de Mayo, a two-day celebration tonight and tomorrow. I’d like to tell you what it is, but, umm, I can’t read their ad. At times like these, I wonder why I took Latin instead of Spanish. Latin has never helped me figure out who I can have fun for a weekend.

Flyin’ Blind is up at the Pourhouse in Mountainhome on Saturday for a show on May 5 — just in case you lose something in the translation.

3 is taking over Pocono Pub’s Cinco de Mayo festivities Saturday, with Mexican beer and food specials.

Trackside Station Grill and Bar is having $3 margarita and $2, umm, Corona specials Saturday. Went in there for the first time last week and was pretty impressed with the new set-up. Completely unrecognizable from Dansbury Depot, which is a good or bad thing, depending on your perspective. Got recognized twice while I was there, which was cool, and it helped me calm down before the Paul Dano thing at the Pocono Community Theater. One suggestion — a Megatouch machine. You can never go wrong with a Megatouch machine. Just give me a Megatouch machine! But $1 happy hour lagers (no fruit, thank you) qualify under “me likey.”

sharks, jets and basketballs, oh my!

Speaking of The PCT, the revival series is showing West Side Story at 6 p.m. Sunday. After talking with series creator and organizer Chuck Curry on Friday night, you can tell he and the people that go to these revival shows are passionate about movies. It’s gotta be a great atmosphere for movie lovers, I gotta get me out to one of them, although West Side Story isn’t doing it for me. I suggested a Hoosiers revival. That will get me out there.

Frankly, I didn’t know Paul Rodriguez still did comedy. But he’s at Cove Haven in Lakeville tonight. He was one of those really good 80s comedians that just couldn’t break out into a TV show or movie. I know I have some friends who will try to convince me that aka Pablo was a great show for its six episodes in 1984, but you get the drift.

I was offered to interview Survivor to publicize the band’s show at Penn’s Peak on Sunday, but after thinking about it for a long time … I turned it down. I just couldn’t think of any honest questions that I wanted to know the answer to where I wouldn’t come off sounding like I a total prick. Usually it’s fine because I can throw in some bland, publicity-only questions, but I don’t know if I could have done that with Survivor. The only things I wanna know about from Survivor are, “How come you weren’t asked back for the Rocky 5 soundtrack?” “Were you surprised that Burning Heart was the first single released off the Rocky 4 soundtrack, even though it was the worst song on the album?” “If you did a show without playing Eye of the Tiger, would there be a riot of people wearing parachute pants?” and so on. I didn’t want to be that guy. Sorry.

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Bringing Back the Hulk. Oh, and Jericho. Maybe.

By Mike Sadowski | Published: May 2, 2012 | Leave a comment

Sure, I put out a summer movie box office preview on Sunday.

But why should you listen to me? You probably shouldn’t. But in case you’re wondering, here’s a breakdown of how I did on summer 2011′s movies. You can also check out how I did on summer 2010′s hits and misses. So now you know you trust me.

Kinda.

ACTUAL FINISH 2011

1. Harry Pott-ah Part Whatever It Was, $381 million

2. Tranny 3, $352 million

3. Hangover 2, $254 million

4. Pirates of the Caribbean 4, $241 million

5. Cars 2, $191 million

6. Thor, $181 million

7. Planet of the Apes, $176.8 million

8. Captain America, $176.7 million

9. The Help, $170 million

10. Bridesmaids, $169 million

MY PICKS

still the three best friends, apparently

Green for a good pick, red for bad. To get a green I had to be within $25 million of the total box office or within two spots of its finish for the summer.

1. Tranny 3, $350 million ($2 million off)

2. Harry Pott-ah, $320 million

3. Cars 2, $260 million

4. Pirates 4, $240 million ($1 million off)

5. Kung Fu Panda 2, $220 million (big miss)

6. Hangover 2, $175 million (definitely didn’t see it coming)

7. Captain America, $150 million

8. Thor, $140 million

9. Super 8, $125 million

10. X-Men, $120 million

I know it doesn’t necessarily look good that I picked Super 8 and X-Men to finish in the top 10 – but I got their totals pretty close to. Super 8 (#14 for the summer) made $127 million and X-Men (#12) made $146 million. So I was only $2 million off on Super 8 and two spots on X-Men.

I’m still not sure how Kung Fu Panda (#11) wasn’t more of a hit. I’d make that same pick this year. Just wasn’t a good summer for animation, as Cars 2 was under expectations too. So just chalk it up to a bad year for cartoons, which kinda weirded me out about picking Brave as #4 this summer, but the second you doubt Pixar, you lose.

The three I didn’t list that finished in the top 10 — Planet of the Apes, Bridesmaids and The Help. I remember considering Planet of the Apes very closely and thinking Bridesmaids could be a sleeper. But I’ll admit I never for a second considered The Help a viable contender. Not a chance. It already was the biggest surprise of the summer when it became my biggest surprise of the entire year when I ranked it in my top 5 movies of the year. So surprises all around!

Also took Green Lantern (#16) as the biggest bomb of the summer and said it would only make $80 million. It made $117 against a (reported) budget of $200 million. but it was the subject of intense media “bomb” frenzy, probably more than any other movie of the year. If Larry Crowne (#31) didn’t have such a low budget of $30 million, it probably would have been the bomb of the summer. Green Lantern got the bomb attention, but it’s a toss up between it and Conan: the Barbarian(#38, $21 million against a $90 million budget) as to what truly was the bomb of the summer. Since I want to keep my six-year streak alive of picking summer’s biggest bombs, I’m saying it’s Green Lantern. But it’s definitely 1 and 1A.

OK, that’s enough on that. Can you tell I like box office preidictions a little too much?

nice to see you again.

Hey, did you hear Avengers is opening this weekend? It is. Just in case you somehow just woke up from a three-month coma or something and hadn’t heard. Actually, you probably needed to be in a coma for about two years. Anyway, don’t expect this to be the last you see of Hulk. For Marvel, one of the joys of bringing Avengers to the screen was probably getting one last chance to turn Hulk into a star. He’s just never quite clicked at the box office, despite being one of Marvel’s three or four most valuable properties. If you asked 15 years ago, before all the movies came out, you probably would have ranked Marvel characters as Spider-Man, X-Men/Wolverine, Hulk and Captain America. Maybe Fantastic Four too. It would have shocked anyone to believe Hulk would have two chances at a movie, and pretty much flub them both. But clearly, Marvel’s not giving up. Or at least leaving the door open to not give up, making sure Ruffalo is ready to come back to Hulk if they call him.

yeah, that's right. i said bring back phenom.

So we’re playing this game, where we just get to yell out our favorite canceled-too-early TV shows, and Netflix will think about resurrecting them? Sweet! This used to be DirecTV’s job, but after Friday Night Lights and Damages, it decided to put up the “no habla ingles” sign at the door when studios started asking them to save their low-rated shows. After Netflix saved Arrested Development and considered saving Terra Nova, now it’s taking meetings on saving Jericho. Jericho! Well if that’s the game, I’m in. Ready? Here we go: Phenom! Invasion! Pushing Daisies! My So-Called Life! Bring ‘em all back! There. Hopefully Netflix can hear that.

Internet headline writers rule. They have no scuples, they’ll just throw anything up there. Every entertainment site on the planet for the last two days has had some variation of “Amanda Seyfried in porn poster!” or “Seyfried shows it off for Lovelace movie poster!” when in reality, it looks like this. Bit of a letdown, heyna? A girl in a bra covered with a quilt. If you are a Mr. Skin frequenter, or if you’re a nudity savant like Brian Hackett, then this might not be the best sign for the Lovelace movie.

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