You are officially welcome.
As a public service, instead of everyone getting suckered into an HBO marketing stunt, I’ve dissected the “Medellin” Web site.
And you know what? It’s exactly what I thought it
would be. The trailer, clips from the season premiere that were used as
interviews, and a synopsis of the movie. That’s it. It’s not
interesting, not innovative and certainly — like most of the last two
seasons of “Entourage” — isn’t funny.
It may be cool at first to see the whole, “STARRING
VINCENT CHASE, DIRECTED BY BILLY WALSH” type thing on the page, but
that wears off about as quick as the memory of any joke they’ve told in
the last couple months.
And let’s get this straight, before everyone goes
off the deep end waiting to see it: It doesn’t exist. There is no
Medellin movie, HBO is not planning to make one and if there is one
made, Vincent Chase will not be the star, Billy Walsh will not be the
director, E will not be a producer and Drama will not have a silly
cameo in the final scene. Just wanted to clear that up.
The only reason I’m still watching “Entourage” —
other than the fact that is on between “John From Cincinnati” and
“Flight of the Conchords” — is the intoxicating “Medellin” story line.
No wonder HBO is promoting it, there’s nothing else on the show worth
mentioning. Drama and Turtle fumbling about town is getting pretty
stiff, Adrian Grenier is dangerously close to crossing over from mildly
annoying to unwatchable and Ari’s antics are getting pretty stale. The
cameos — especially M. Night Shyamalan’s two weeks ago — are still on
target, and E’s fights with director Walsh are entertaining.
But after that, there’s nothing — except for
“Medellin.” I’m finding the back-room Hollywood power struggles
fascinating and utterly believable, and almost throw up in my mouth
when I realize there are about 50 Billy Walshes running around Los
Angeles. He’s basically the new Ari. For a while, Ari was the one who
epitomized Hollywood and all that was wrong with it.
When that got stale — sometime this year, maybe when
he actually got jealous of Artie Lange — they needed to find someone
else to light that fire. They found it in Rhys Coiro’s Walsh, who is
setting records for emasculating pitifulness at each turn and angling
for an Emmy nomination.
But even hearing “suit” 5 zillion times an episode gets a tad overplayed.
And incidentally, here is the Entertainment Weekly
story from two weeks ago where Joe Carnahan (”Smokin’ Aces”) actually
has been trying to make a story about the real Pablo Escobar (yes, he
was real). Sounds pretty familiar, no?