Emmy this!

I’ve been mad before.

When Joe Carter hit the home run that ended the ‘93 World Series.

When I missed a foul shot in high school with no time on the clock that would have clinched a championship.

When “Saved By the Bell: The College Years” ended
its run with Zack and Kelly planning to elope and nothing else. OK, at
the time I didn’t realize a TV movie was in the works. That made it
hurt less.

But as I’m writing this right now, I’m having real trouble trying to describe my emotions with “Frfnl.jpgiday Night Lights” being completely left off the list of Emmy nominations.

Disappointed? That’s not vengeful enough. Hurt? Too much blame on myself. Angry? Still not vengeful enough.

Honestly, I’m just befuddled. I’m left wondering why
what is easily one of TV’s five best shows with performances better
than any show gets excluded from the Emmys, but also rans like “Boston
Legal” make their way into the picture.

What makes it even harder to take are the best drama
nominations, other than “House” and “The Sopranos” are just so vanilla
and procedural. Yes, that includes “Heroes,” which is nothing more than
a buzzy guilty pleasure. “Grey’s Anatomy” feminine-charged clap-trap
that really doesn’t break any new ground and then there is “Boston
Legal,” which some how, some way, continues to be praised by Emmy
voters but shunned by both critics and viewers.

Honestly, I just don’t understand it, and I probably
never will. Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton getting snubbed in the
lead acting categories is probably even more of a head-scratcher.
Again, we have the requisite James Spader nod, but Keifer Sutherland
for “24? in a comically down year for the show? Unreal and unacceptable.

Minnie Driver (”The Riches”) and Sally Field
(”Brothers and Sisters”) both deserved their nominations and are
welcome additions to the actress category. But Patricia Arquette over
Britton? I wouldn’t have even been able to tell you “The Medium” was
still on the air 20 minutes ago. Can anyone prove it? I’m still not
sure.

The comedy nominations were a little better, but not
much different. Apparently Jason Lee has to stand on his head and hold
his breath until his face turns blue to get a nomination. Tony Shalhoub
is so two years ago — though it kills me to say that about Antonio
Scarpacci — and Charlie Sheen is a one-dimensional train wreck.

And I’m not the only one wondering how the hell this
can happen in what has turned from an imperfect system to a downright
idiotic one. Matt Roush, TV Guide’s God-like critic, one of the shows
biggest champions, sounds like he has to be talked off a roof. And EW is basically taking the entire Emmy system to task
not only for “Fright Night Lights,” but for groundbreaking,
on-the-ledge shows like “The Shield” and “The Wire” being nowhere to be
found.

That’s it, I’m done. I can’t write anymore, I’m
overcome with anger and ready to punch my computer screen in. Now if
you’ll excuse me, I have to start coming up with ways to organize and
Emmys boycott. Feel free to send me some suggestions, I’d love to start
one.

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