the death of AFI

Looks like this whole AFI phenomenon is running out of gas.

What was a water-cooler demon a couple years ago when American Film Institute released its 100 Greatest Movies of All Time has sunk to releasing lists like Top 10 Courtroom Dramas.

So basically, they’re saying, “We’ll make up any list as long as we think you’ll watch it and talk and blog about it.”

Shoot. It worked on a film dork like me.

And yes, I’ll probably tune in next year when they release the Top 10 movies filmed in Albany starring a girl under 10 years old.

Can’t wait!

Here’s what I thought of this year’s lists:

TOP 10 ANIMATION

On the list: It’s tough to argue with Disney, most likely the most influential movie studio in the land. Nine of the 10 are Disney movies (including two Pixar movies), with Shrek the only non-Disney.

What they screwed up: Beauty and the Beast? C’mon. Just because it stole a best picture nomination in 1991 from Boyz in the Hood doesn’t mean it needs to be on this list.

What should have been there: I’m pretty much resigned to the fact that one of the five funniest and best movies of my lifetime, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, will never get respect as either an animated movie or a musical. But it belongs on this list.

TOP 10 ROM-COM

On the list: They should call this the overrated movie list — all of them are.

What they screwed up: Anyone who tells you they’ve seen City Lights is probably lying to sound edge-you-ma-kated. To put it #1 is both pompous and pretentious. I have seen it — and I don’t find it funny or even entertaining. I’m sure it was all the rage in 1929, but we’re now 80 years past that.

What should have been there: I don’t even think this category should exist.

TOP 10 WESTERN

On the list: A bunch of movies that bore me, except for Butch and Sundance (#7).

What they screwed up: Who knows? I’m not a western fan. But I always thought High Noon (#2) was overrated.

What should have been there: Umm, Tombstone? It’s probably the only Western other than Butch and Sundance I can say I really like.

TOP 10 SPORTS

On the list: Now we’re talkin’. Classics like Raging Bull (#1), Rocky (#2), Bull Durham (#5) and Caddyshack (#8).

What they screwed up: I hate Pride of the Yankees (#3). It sounds un-American to say so, but I do, probably because I think anyone who wears a Yankee uniform is the devil, not a guy I’m supposed to feel sorry for. To put it ahead of what is easily the greatest sports movie and my favorite movie of all time — Hoosiers (#4) — is a travesty. And not having Hoosiers #1 is by far the biggest joke of this whole show. You can make the argument that it is the only true sports movie on the list.

What should have been there: To ignore Hoop Dreams and include National Velvet is an insult to sports fans. A blatant, disgusting insult.

TOP 10 MYSTERY

On the list: Thankfully included are Chinatown (#2), Rear Window (#3), North by Northwest (#7), Blue Velvet (#8) and Usual Suspects (#10).

What they screwed up: If there was any major movie list, I thought I would at least somewhat recognize every movie on it. I’ve never heard of this Laura (#4) movie. I’m partially embarrassed, but mostly angry for them including it.

What should have been there: The Chinatown of my generation: LA Confidential. I’ve been rediscovering Seven lately too.

TOP 10 FANTASY

On the list: For some reason, I think this is the “Umm, we have a bunch of cool movies we can’t find a spot for. Let’s put them here!” category. Every movie here seems to belong somewhere else (Groundhog Day, Field of Dreams, Big, King Kong).

What they screwed up/what should have been there: They have the wrong Lord of the Rings (Fellowship, #2). It should have been Two Towers.

TOP 10 SCI-FI

On the list: Another weird category. Clockwork Orange is sci-fi? Really? If you told Stanley Kubrick that, I think he’d throw up on you.

What they screwed up: It’s probably news to Michael J. Fox, too, that Back to the Future is sci-fi. But whatever.

What should have been there: Why even bother screwing around with it? Only Star Wars made the list, but Empire and Jedi should have been on top in that order with Star Wars #3. Anyone on this list is probably saying that too. “Wait, I made the list and Empire didn’t? Umm, can I give this award back?”

TOP 10 GANGSTER

On the list: Here’s why it’s OK to put all the Star Wars movies on the sci-fi list: Because Godfather (#1) and Godfather II (#3) are on this one. That’s pretty much saying Godfather defines the genre. Doesn’t the Star Wars series define sci-fi? More evidence that these lists are pretty much junk.

What they screwed up: Godfather II is superior to Godfather in just about every way.

What should have been there: Maybe something that takes an alternate spin on the genre. Get Shorty? And isn’t On the Waterfront a gangster movie? How is it not?

TOP 10 COURTROOM DRAMA

On the list: This is a list? I didn’t even know there were enough good movies to make this a list. A better list would have been Courtroom Dramas That Suck. I nominate Trial and Error for that one. I know it’s supposed to be a comedy, but you have to make me laugh once to be a comedy.

What they screwed up: Making this a list.

What should have been there: I hear Pauly Shore’s Jury Duty just missed.

TOP 10 EPICS

On the list: A really tough category to define. My buddies and I have had this discussion in the past as to what makes an epic, and we still haven’t come up with the answer. But I think Lawrence of Arabia (#1), Ben-Hur (#2), Gone With the Wind (#4) and Spartacus (#5) fit.

What they screwed up: I’m not so sure Schindler’s List (#3) or Saving Private Ryan (#8) do fit. I’ll bet Steven Spielberg wouldn’t know either.

What should have been there: Who knows.