what’s happening, coney

Some links to digest:

Any Conan O’Brien fans who aren’t scared about him dumbing down his schtick when he takes over The Tonight Show are kidding themselves. He promised in his farewell show he wouldn’t do it — but I can’t see how NBC won’t be pressuring him into bringing him down to about 6 from his current 9. We’ll see. As for that final show Friday, I was a little disappointed. He spent the week exhausting his classic characters, so there wasn’t much room left for Masturbating Bear or Triumph to squeeze in — especially with Conan’s 15-minute thank you’s that went a couple minutes past his normal 12:37 a.m. sign-off. I wasn’t a fan of the old-time baseball thing, he’s done way better stuff than that. But overall, Conan went out the same way he came in — with laughs.

I wanted to throw this up last — the greatest active directors — but wanted to wait until I found it in list form so you don’t have to go through the nonsense of clicking 25 times on EW’s site. You can do that if you want, but it bores me to tears. I’m cool with this list, for the most part. There are about eight people on there who I consider my favorites, and will see anything they put out just because they directed it. My one complaint is Judd Apatow. He’s directed two movies, people. Two! I know it seems like he’s been at the front of about 3,746 movies in the past five years, but he’s only really directed two stinkin’ movies. And neither of them were prohibitive “classics.” I’m on record as saying Knocked Up sucks.

The question we should all be asking ourselves after seeing the Office Space reunion for the 10th anniversary — where is Ron Livingston? If they’re going to have an Office Space reunion, he NEEDS to be there. Cancel it if he doesn’t show up. What, was he holding out for the Swingers reunion so he could ask Jon Favreau for a part in Iron Man 7? Oops, he didn’t show up at that either. Every other original Office Space cast member who has gone on to fringe fame and fortune seems to be there. Diedrich Bader (Lawrence), Stephen Root (Milton), Gary Cole (Lumbergh), they’re all there. There’s even a blink-and-you-miss-it John McGinley (one of the Bobs) sighting. OK, so there’s no Jen Aniston. I can see that, and you know what? I wouldn’t even want her there because her wet blanket life would pull down the whole vibe. Peter Gibbons better have a good excuse for not showing up, something much better than “I need to distance myself from Peter Gibbons.” I seriously doubt I’d ever have to mention his name in this blog again. But from now on, he will be referred to only as Peter Gibbons. Take that!

I’m not sure how we made it through the last couple months without some good Britney news. I’ve been in intensive therapy for withdrawls, it’s been #### me. Now we’ve got our fix, and it comes from none other than daddy Jamie Spears. I think we all need to step back and thank this elder statesman for entering our lives.

I’m not sure what to make of the Ticketmaster/Live Nation deal. Live Nation got into the ticket selling biz with the promise of bringing down prices, canceling out convenience fees, etc. None of that’s happened. We might as well face it — if we want to go to a concert, we’re gonna pay through the nose no matter who is selling the tickets.

This does nothing to Fringe, which already was pulling the wool over our eyes by saying it was in Boston when it was filming in NYC. So if you’re into the show, don’t worry, nothing will change. That’s too bad, because they need a new leading actress.

Remember how underwhelming the 90210 update was? And still is? Well then I’ve got good news for you, the CW is about to ruin another 90s classic! I wonder if Seinfeld will watch this version and try to deny it until her gets hooked up to the poly. The Ab Fab American reboot in talks for years is coming to fruition too with Kristen Johnson is an Patty. Until the economy lightens up, I think this is what you’re going to see, easily recognizable TV shows that can be sold to advertisers on the strength of a name instead of the overall product. The new Melrose can’t be as bad as the new 90210, can it? Can it?

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