OK, so what did I miss?
Let’s try and play some catch-up from what I missed over the week. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to post last week, my mornings were otherwise occupied.
Had the chance to catch GI Joe on Friday, but opted for Harry Pottah instead. Actually, I was angling for The Hurt Locker or (500) Days of Summer, but the choice wasn’t mine. Still feel pretty good about the decision though, the Pottah movies are living, breathing proof that you can churn out high-quality entertainment and still make it for a wide audience. But I’m a little worried that the movies are just becoming a mishmashed hodgepodge of the best parts of other huge franchises. The Half Blood Prince seemed like a cross between Empire (the secret behind who the HBP is), the second Matrix (all the Chosen One stuff), and Star Trek (Wrath of Khan, with the death of a wise adviser). Not sure how close it was to the book, but some people have a lawsuit against JK Rowling if they wanna go for it. Plus, they need to wrap these up pretty quickly or else Malfoy’s hair is going to start falling out. He looks like he’s 40.
Good for GI Joe though. 80s kids toys are going to be the new comic books — every one of them is going to be turned into a movie in the next 10 years now that GI Joe and Transformers are bad movies but huge hits. I’m telling you, we’re five years away from a live-action Teddy Ruxpin adaptation with Zac Efron somehow starring as the talking bear himself. And that He-Man movie that’s been in the works for about 20 years? Expect that to be fast tracked in the next month so that it’s out for Christmas 2010. Bank on it, especially since GI Joe got really bad buzz from the jump and still managed $56 million.
More Jon and Kate non-news: she’s still wearing her wedding ring. Great. So she’s like 99.99999% of divorcees a month after their marriage falls apart. Oh wait, you know what makes her unlike them? She’s still married! Just because she’s filed for divorce and Jon is making his way through every star-loving floozie in New York City doesn’t mean they’re not still married. It’s probably her hanging on to the past a tad too much, but so what? This is just further proof that there is too much attention being paid to these people.
Newest summer TV recommendation: Being Human on BBC America. Discovered it while on vacation. Still haven’t caught the third ep from this weekend, but I’m in. There is some danger with this show in that they run the risk of over-doing the mythology behind each character. The werewolf stuff from the second episode was cool, the vampire stuff from the pilot was even better, but balancing the two and giving both of them enough attention could be a problem. Still, the vampire stuff has a very Angel-y feel to it, with the vampires rallying for a war against the humans. Like it.
Even though Conan is still getting second-tier guests and past friends to come to his show and he’s simply not as funny as he was at Late Night, he’s still getting the same kinds of people to watch — young people. That means NBC is going to say it’s happy despite losing the overall ratings race to Letterman. Which is fine, right now there are enough viewers to go around for everyone. But in the fall when Wanda Sykes gets her talk show on FOX and takes away Black viewers, and George Lopez gets his show on TBS and takes away Latino viewers, there’s going to be a big ratings hole at the networks that is going to lead the suits to scratch their heads and ask “What happened???” when they should have seen this coming like a Jimmy Kimmel-sized freight train.
There may not be anything more disheartening about the state of the universe than people practically knocking down Paula Abdul’s door giving her TV offers. This was our chance, people. We could have been rid of her for good and started the reality-TV destroying dominos falling all over the place. She fudged up her negotiations like a spoiled child and no one was to blame except for her. We were free. But nnnnnnoooooooooo! People have to go and offer her high-profile jobs, ensuring we won’t be rid of her or reality TV for years, maybe decades, maybe ever. It’s hard to live with, really.
It’s been about 10 days since I posted, so lemme check . . . yup, Michael Jackson is still dead. But the news hasn’t stopped! Now we hear the family is planning a major tribute in . . . wait for it . . . lovely Vienna! Apparently Prague and Belfast were booked. Perhaps it makes some kind of sense since his international fans were the ones who still supported him in the late 90s and beyond when everyone in America wanted to distance themselves from him and his late-night-punchline lifestyle. But after bilking LA for a couple million bucks to stage the funeral, you would think the Jacksons would have some class and stay in LA, or at least in America. Why not a Central Park show? Stay classy, Jacksons.
When are people going to put The Hulk to bed for good? It’s never going to make money. We found that out — twice. The story is never going to be right, because it’s already been told in different versions in the movie, TV and comic book, so it’s impossible to meld all three. Forget it. Move on. There are plenty more Marvel characters with better stories to be told.
If you’re not on board with the Three Stooges remake already, you probably won’t be any closer to hopping on the bandwagon with news that Paul Giamatti and Benicio del Toro replacing Sean Penn and Johnny Depp. That’s not exactly the replacements fans would be looking for. It would still be OK if Jim Carrey signed up, but the Farrelly Brothers have an awful track record since opening with Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin and Something About Mary, three of the 10 funniest movies of the 90s.