johnny depp is not sexy! worse yet, he’s not even a great actor

Slipped my mind yesterday to congratulate our two winners of the Star Wars: In Concert tickets:

Mary Jane Colon of Blakeslee and John Armbruster of Snydersville! They went to the show last night, maybe they can write in and tell us how it was, I’m certainly curious.

It should be noted that Colon’s winning contest entry came randomly from the PopRox Facebook page, so for the next contest, when I say that it might pay to enter there, it probably does.

Thanks for entering everyone! There’s a new contest coming after Thanksgiving, so stay tuned.

For the most part, this is a Twilight-free blog, mainly because of my detest for the entire franchise. It’s caused me to cancel my Entertainment Weekly subscription — which cost me all of $10 a year — and forced me to see people who call themselves fans in different capacities. It’s really hard for me to respect Twilight fans. Luckily, I’ve never met a man who claims to be a Twilight fan. From what I can gather, none of my friends are. If they are, they’re wisely not telling me, because I’d probably stop being friends with them. I’d at least cease all fantasy sports contact with them. But the movie is causing a rarely seen — and I’m 99.999999 percent sure it’s never happened before — phenomenon when it will be shown at midnight in all four of Monroe County’s movie theaters. We’ll have a story on it tomorrow, because that’s pretty impressive, and I don’t care what movie it is. It’s sold out at the Stroud Mall’s two shows, but the Pocono Community Theater in East Stroudsburg and the Casino Theater in Mount Pocono both said they had tickets left. Not sure about Foxmoor.

Way to have your finger on the pulse! Fox has been doing this for about 10 years now, and I remember reaching a new breaking point in the 2001 World Series. Then it morphed and grew and changed to the point that you can barely tell what you’re watching anymore. Luckily, one thing has stopped, for the most part — those annoying countdown clocks for big events. They’re still out there every now and then, in fact there was just one on the other night on something or other, I just can’t remember what. But ESPN, the biggest perpetrator at the height of countdown clocks, has eased off. Now if we can just get rid of some of these pop-ups, we’ll be in business.

get a haircut, hippie!

get a haircut, hippie!

Raise your hand if you don’t get why Johnny Depp is sexy … wait, I’m the only one? Shoot. Apparently he just doesn’t do it for me, seeing as I looked over his filmography and realized the last thing I’ve seen him in was Blow in 2001. Not seen in the theaters, seen. The last thing I’ve seen of his in the theaters was Ed Wood. So it’s been 15 years since I’ve paid to see a Johnny Depp movie, and I don’t feel any worse off for it.

A.O. Scott of the New York Times is the #1 movie reviewer out there — but sometimes he can be overly brilliant. Like when he’s writing about the best movies of the decade. Or is he? It’s curiously tough to tell. The gist is that he really liked anything Steven Speilberg, Clint Eastwood and the Coen Brothers did, liked a bunch of foreign directors — even though Lars von Trier, does, in fact, suck monkey poop — and thinks Step Brothers was one of the funniest movies of the decade. So we’re agreed there. Everything else in that story? A self-congratulatory testament to how smart he is. That’s why he writes for the NYT.

Just Friends somehow has turned into one of those movies that can’t escape my remote control finger for some reason and is up there in the best of the new breed of Christmas movies (like Love Actually and Go). Not quite sure why. It stands to reason then that TMI— a title about five years too late, and one that has already been made fun of on The Office two years ago for being out of date — will probably end up finding its way to my TV when it premieres in Comedy Central’s Secret Stash in 2013. Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris are just terribly likable and both are hysterical, so there’s no reason not to give them a chance.

the original fighting garrelli

the original fighting garrelli

We should all make it our goal to listen to at least five of these comedy albums — the best of the decade, according to the AV Club — by the end of the year. The only three I own are Never Scared, Flight of the Conchords and Mitch All Together. All classics. There’s no way I could even begin to embark on a long diatribe of what’s missing and why, the only one I’d like to see on there that’s missing is Joe Rogan’s I’m Gonna Be Dead Someday, one of my five favorite comedy albums of all time (just in case you were wondering, my favorite of all time is Rock’s Born Suspect, in case you’re wondering). What won me over is Rogan’s extreme hatred for soccer and how it’s sheer lunacy that the rest of the world can’t understand why we don’t give a rat’s butt about it. “We like to use our thumbs in this country, that’s why we’re not monkeys anymore!

The Earl thing was really funny for a couple years — but it was time to end it. Jason Lee has a pretty nice slate of projects lined up though, including a return to TV. The TNT pilot has great people surrounding it — Lee, George Clooney, director Clark Johnson (Meldrick from Homicide: Life on the Street) — so there’s no reason to think it can’t be good. Let’s just gloss over his continued involvement in the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies, shall we?

Not so fast on that Rachel-McAdams-as-The-Black-Cat rumor for Spidey 4. Apparently, it’s total B.S. That’s one thing this blog has never done is start an Internet rumor. Nope, we only spread them ’round these parts. Let’s take care of that: According to my sources, Michael Rappaport is in talks to play Carnage in Spidey 4. It’s true, I promise!

When A Christmas Carol only opened to $31 million and everyone started labeling it a disappointment, the smart people decided to hold off to see what kind of shelf life it would have. The smart people were right since it had one of the smallest second-week drops of the year and is in prime pouncing position to grab some holiday money. After Thanksgiving it’s going to be at about $120 million, which puts it in position to make its $200 million budget back by the time its run is over. that would make it Jim Carrey’s third-biggest movie ever.

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