an accessible best of the decade list, fictional bands and real bands selling out

Sorry about not posting yesterday, I was off, which makes it even more inexcusable, because I knew I was going to be off and forgot to announce it earlier. My bad. As always, I’ll try to do better next time.

The links:

hey, at least you had a chance to see it.

hey, at least you had a chance to see it.

Finally! A top movie list of the decadeeveryone can get on board with. No foreign films, no completely inaccessible and pretentious horse feces that no one can relate to, just 10 movies that were darn good. Well, I’m not putting Wall-E or Moulin Rouge on my list, but at least I could have seen them if I wanted to. One thing is bugging me though, and that is the fact that everyone is putting 40-Year-Old Virgin on the list. I’ve made my Judd Apatow thoughts more than clear, but this movie isn’t as funny as everyone makes it out to be. Or maybe I’m just thinking everyone considers it the funniest movie ever, and I don’t see it, so I just dislike it more because of that. Tough to tell. Every time someone mentions how they like Coldplay, I do the whole, “You know how I know you’re gay?” routine, and of the 8 trillion things Elizabeth Banks has been in, this is still where I remember her from. So it’s not like it’s not on my mind, it’s just not one of the top 50 movies of the decade. But everyone keeps saying it is, and that irks me.  

The more you read about the Comcast-NBC deal, the more you get confused. Or is that just me? Or maybe I just keep getting bored and falling asleep when someone tries to explain using buzzwords like synergy, business model or autonomous. Eh, either way. Just lemme know when it affects me.

So apparently the comments blew up so much in this list of the best fictional bands ever that it was deemed necessary for a second list of fake bands. That took care of the first-time glaring omissions of Stillwater (maybe the best fake rock band ever) and Rod Torfleson’s Armada Featuring Herman Menderchuck (best unknown fake band ever), but it doesn’t even scratch the surface. Someone needs to spend a week doing a list like this and include somewhere around 50 bands. Not even The Brady Kids? But the biggest crime against humanity is not including the best fake band ever — The Oneders. Or at least The Wonders. There isn’t a person alive who watches that movie and doesn’t get That Thing You Do stuck in their head for the next week. I’m not that mean, I’ll just let you get stuck with the second-best song from the movie. Losing out to That Thing You Do isn’t a bad thing. And yes, I’m furious that the scene from Villapiano’s where they actually sing this song isn’t on YouTube.

There’s a distinct bandwagon out there of people piling on Entourage for falling off in its last couple seasons, but I’m still not sure why. Granted, I haven’t seen the most recent season, but the last two seasons were just as good as any other, and in particular, the fifth season as darn good. So why not try a movie? It would be the ultimate in irony — a movie about the foils of the movie industry. We’re not looking for the self-analysis of The Player, but at least some biting satire and backlot shenanigans Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back-style wouldn’t be asking too much, I don’t think. There’s a lot to hate about Entourage, and I wouldn’t disparage anyone who would hate it because they can’t deal with the mess that is Drama. But it’s how I always envisioned Hollywood, and I love watching the inner workings of it. It’s like a how-to book for someone who wants to be a star.

do it, pretty boy! say "alex is king!"

do it, pretty boy! say "alex is king!"

Let’s face it — when you see a headline that says “‘Family Ties’ actor arrested after Colorado assault” there’s only one person it could be — Brian Bonsall. Stories like this are why I worry about someday bailing my daughter out of jail. She’s the cutest, happiest baby in the world — but so was Andrew Keaton. Why does raising kids have to be so nerve-racking? And why didn’t anyone tell me about this aspect of it beforehand?

Hold on here — a reality series about NBA wives? Boooo-ring. How ’bout a series about NBA players off the court that is done by someone other than Ahmad Rashad so we find out something more than who his “main man” is? Just imagine seeing some NBA star meet a famous celebrity, then marry her a couple months later. Or maybe one of the NBA guys would have a one-night stand with a cocktail waitressat some Colorado resort, then get stuck in a trial that grips the country. Or it could cross over into other sports when someone in Lebron James’ group gets into a fight with some other sports star in Cleveland. Who am I kidding, those things would never happen, right? So instead, let’s just focus on the wives to listen to them explain why they have total faith in their husbands on the road when they’re actually hiring private detectives to follow them.

yes, yes, we know. you want to use somebody. we heard you the first billion times.

yes, yes, we know. you want to use somebody. we heard you the first billion times.

Thanks to Kings of Leon, we now have to renew the debate of whether it’s OK to sell out or not in music. The band had a couple good songs before they broke out from 2008’s Only by the Night, and even Sex on Fire was a pretty good song on Only by the Night before the overly average Use Somebody completely blew up and became the top-selling song on iTunes this year. It was easy to tell they were about to break out when Madison Square Garden had to add a second show for a KoL concert two years ago when the first one sold out in like 20 minutes. I remember seeing the announcement that the tickets were going on sale and thinking, “Geez, they’re big enough for a MSG show?” Yes. Apparently they are. I don’t like when my favorite bands sell out, but you absolutely, positively can’t blame them. Isn’t that why everyone gets into the music business in the first place, to make money and get girls? Only a sliver of the population would turn down such a chance, and that sliver always lives to regret it when they stand up for their art.

On the off chance you thought the Tiger Woods story was on its last legs and about to go away — silly you. This is about to take on Brangelina-like proportions.

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