Wu Tang! Wu Tang! Wu Tang!

We’re going at this quick today, we’ve got bad scheduling for the early part of the week what with election day and all.

As long as we’re somewhat on topic there, a lot of times, you’re going to hear people tell you to “GET OUT AND VOTE!!!” because it’s our birthright and duty and all. Which is true, but that’s only half of it. Before you vote, you should educate yourself on what the candidates stand for, otherwise you’re just randomly pulling levers or filling in boxes, or whatever you do in your county these days. Do you really want people making decisions that affect your life and your money just because your favorite letter is B and that candidate had more B’s in his name than the other guy? Doubt it.

We’ve got a wealth of political stories, viewpoints and profiles on every candidate you can possibly vote for in Monroe County. And believe me, there’s a ton of them. So take a second and read them to find out exactly who you are voting for, and why you might want to vote for them.

Let me take two steps down from my soapboax now for stuff that really matters. You know, live how freakin’ off his rocker Randy Quaid is.

dollar dollar bill y'all

dollar dollar bill y'all

Are the Wu-Tang Clan’s ears ringing because I wrote “crazy”? No matter how crazy they are — and they are and always have been looney tunes — the hip-hop group might be the best show the Sherman Theater has ever booked. I’m just not sure the town is ready to hold them. The good news is they have a show the night before — New Year’s Eve — near Pittsburgh. So we won’t be seeing Method Man with a bottle of Crystal in his hands try to get up on stage with Postal at Jock and Jill’s or anything. Whether that’s a good or bad thing … I’m not sure. The only problem is I can’t find this show listed anywhere else but in the news release the Sherman put out yesterday, but the band’s national press release says the tour ends Dec. 31. Uh oh. Hopefully it’s just a misunderstanding.

Normally I’d give regular people about a 5 percent chance of knowing one of the movies nominated in the British Independent Film Awards. They’re always announced really early, like, before they even have American release dates and they’re all filled with British people most Americans couldn’t even name, let alone care about when they’re in an arthouse movie. But hey, I’m giving my audience the benefit of the doubt and saying that about 25 percent of you reading might know more than one. I’m not counting Kick-Ass, I’m not quite sure how that qualifies as an independent movie, so feel free to be the first kid on your block to crow about your movie knowledge by saying how you’re looking forward to seeing The King’s Speech or Four Lions. King’s Speech is actually on my list since it won the Audience Prize at Toronto this year — that’s an impressive pedigree. I’m always up for a Mike Leigh movie, so Another Year is on my radar too.

Normally I’d brag about predicting huge ratings numbers for a show, but predicting record numbers for Walking Dead was too easy. So I’ll just say how smart I am and move on. The show seems to get what the new breed of torture porn movies don’t, that fear and tension are created from what you can’t see instead of what you do see. There is a 30-second scene in the first half-hour of Walking Dead before we even really see a zombie where our hero Rick, who just got out of a coma, is in a dark stairwell clumsily trying to light matches to see his way through. You have no idea whether there are zombies in those stairs or not, but you’re terrified there could be. You can feel every ounce of his intense fear and your heart drops into your shoes at least three times as you half-cover your eyes. He’s fine, btw, there’s nothing in the stairs because the hospital zombies have either been killed or locked away. But that’s not the point. The point is that there could have been something in those stairs, and the people who watch it are supposed to feel just as scared — if not more — than Rick did. Everything about the show seems classy, which is probably the weirdest compliment ever for a show about zombies. There are about a zillion plot holes that make you talk to the TV every two minutes asking questions like, “Wait, why did the zombies leave Rick alone for two months in a coma when they gorged on every other available piece of flesh in the place?” but you’ve got to just go along for the ride on it because it’s a zombie show, you know? And since every vampire show/movie comes up with new rules for vampires, there probably are going to be new rules for zombies now too. so forget what you know and enjoy the ride. Should be a fun one. GRADE: B+

needs to be in the discussion for funniest women in TV

needs to be in the discussion for funniest women in TV

For some reason, this Rashida Jones game show completely cracks me up. Maybe it’s because I’ve wondered about things like this before about Rashida Jones since she is the daughter of Quincy Jones. Doesn’t that pretty much require you to have a weird life? Wouldn’t it be a waste of Quincy’s lineage if you didn’t didn’t have some kind of screwed up story to tell at parties like, “Yeah, when I was a kid, Michael Jackson’s g-damn monkey bit me on the effing hand” and then start shaking it like it still hurts. I think it would be a waste. One question they didn’t include — Rashida Jones dated John Krasinski in real life for a year then broke up with him two years before they dated in TV life on The Office. True or false? That would get the smiling Rashida Jones thumbs up, because it’s true. I don’t know if I could ever do that with an ex, and those two pulled off the coolest TV love triangle of the 2000s.

It’s a good rule of thumb in life when you see an Internet headline reading, “Kevin Smith says …” or “Kevin Smith comments …” CLICK ON IT!!! Even if the rest of the sentence is something obvious like “that the world is round” or “My Generation was the worst new TV show this year,” it doesn’t matter. Chances are about 97 percent he’s going to say something remarkably interesting, for better or worse.

Something else interesting about that article. Of all the credits Stephen Root has, he’s listed for No Country for Old Men. I can name about 20 Stephen Root projects off the top of my head, including random, one-episode appearances on both Night Court and Seinfeld. But it took me about 15 minutes to remember who he was in NCFOM, and I think I only remembered because the character wasn’t that much different from the Seinfeld bank manager he played. Seinfeld kinda jogged my memory. If AVClub doesn’t go knocking on his door for its wonderful Random Roles column, they’re crazy. Root and William Fichtner — those are my two dream subjects for that column. And every question to Root should somehow end in “Super Karate Monkey Death Car.” It must.

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