Quit Screwing with the TV Schedule, Chuckles

Some snowy day links:

what the *&%$ are you looking at?

what the *&%$ are you looking at?

If you’re new to these parts, we try to stay away from the tabloid stuff ’round here. TMZ and about 7 trillion other sites and blogs already do that with about 1,000 times more energy than I could ever muster. So I don’t bother with Charlie Sheen kind of stuff — until it actually starts affecting stuff that actually does matter, like TV schedules. Perhaps he should have thought of our personal TV viewing habits before he decided to go on a three-year bender, no? Sheen hasn’t just screwed up his own life, but he’s doing a pretty good job of killing careers and lives of everyone at the show. CBS thought it would be shutting down production if the show, but now apparently it will finish out the season. Look at the credits — there are at least 50 people involved in the production of 2.5 Men, and I seriously doubt the key grip is making $2 million an episode like Sheen is. Since the show ends eight episodes early, those behind-the-scenes people are probably going to lose about one-third of their yearly salary. I don’t know about you, but if the Pocono Record had to shut down for one-third of the year, I’d be struggling to make ends meet. Thanks to Sheen, there are about 50 people telling their daughters, “I don’t know if we’re going to be able to afford the prom this year sweetie.” All because Charlie Sheen decided to throw his own life away.

Some shows cut their episode order all on their own, by not getting decent ratings. Hey, The Cape! Are your ears burning? Looks like the superhero show that hasn’t gained any traction is not long for this life. Caught the pilot, was only moderately enthused, and never went back. Kinda like the rest of the country.

Be warned — we’re about six months from Slinky: The Movie. Now that toy company Wham-O is pushing for a Slip-and-Slide movie, it seems like anything with any kind of kitsch value from the years 1965-1990 will be made into a movie. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, because every now and then a good project comes out of what seems like a ridiculous idea. Wait, that’s where the Transformers and GI Joe movies came from, so forget it. It’s always a bad idea. If you need proof, I give you the list of video games adapted into movies. Unless you’re talking about the adaptation of Clue — two blogs in a row with a Clue reference! — then making those game and toy adaptations has to be a bad idea.

Hey look, it’s a Kennedys sighting! After the family threw it’s weight around to get the reportedly inflammatory miniseries kicked off the History Channel, upstart movie network Reelz has decided to pick it up. The network has only been around for about a year and its best contribution to TV right now is playing Newsradio reruns, so it could use this kind of boost. No truth to the rumor that Kennedy family said, “Wait, shouldn’t it be spelled Reels? That’s how you spell it, right?” Good luck to the family trying to find out who runs the network or where it’s even located. Probably out of some guy’s basement in Santa Monica.

There seem to be two types of people in the world, those that hated Ricky Gervais on the Golden Globes, and those that loved him. The people that fall into the latter portion were pumped this week when he told everyone he’s been asked back — but now the people that didn’t like him are crossing their fingers because the Golden Globes say they haven’t actually asked him back. They didn’t say they wouldn’t, or that he’s been banned like Andrew Dice Clay from MTV, just that they haven’t asked him yet. Until there is some kind of official announcement, prepare yourself for back-and-forth news about if he’s coming back. Oh, wait, there’s a third type of people. Those that didn’t bother watching the Golden Globes because they’re silly. That’s actually where most of us fall.

Because today is a day of the week that ends in “Y,” there’s news of another franchise reboot. This time it’s Fletch, the wise-cracking newspaper columnist/investigator/adventurer, who’s pushing the reset button. This was supposed to happen about a decade ago, with Kevin Smith helming and bringing in Jason Lee. I wasn’t there, but two of my buddies were back in like 2000 at one of Smith’s campus tour stops in New Jersey. They said someone brought up the Fletch thing to Smith, and he immediately got out his cell phone, called Jason Smith, put him on speaker and they talked about what they were planning on doing. Whatever happened after that is unclear, just that Smith isn’t doing his version anymore. I know guys who are Fletch guys, but I’m not one of them. I’d rather watch Chevy Chase play a heroic marijuana plant than watch five seconds of the awful Fletch Lives.

minka. oh, minka.

minka. oh, minka.

The chances of me ever watching The Roommate are less than nothing. Single White Female wasn’t good the first time around, and it’s not going to be good with the CW’s entire cast list this time. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t bring some good news — like Minka Kelly doing publicity interviews and photo shoots. As if her sexiest woman alive pics weren’t good enough in Esquire late last year, now comes some more next-to-nothing shots in GQ this month. It’s kinda hard to watch her gain acceptance now since I’m pretty sure I started the official Minka Kelly Bandwagon right from the Friday Night Lights jump four years ago. It’s even harder to watch her gleefully turn to the dark side of Derek Jeter when a perfectly good Ryan Howard is waiting in the wings. But I’ll see if I can power through since it means scantily clad photo shoots. Enjoy.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt hasn’t been exactly lucky with film franchises. Actually, it’s only been one film franchise that very nearly ruined every ounce of street cred he ever had in the acting world, his hammy, horrific, head-scratching turn as Cobra Commander in GI Joe. But let’s just say he’s in much better hands now in Dark Knight Rises. If he really is playing The Riddler, it’s a dream part for him since all he has to do is out-Riddler the Jim Carrey performance in Batman Forever. I’m pretty sure I could do that if given the chance. Hopefully Gordon-Levitt has enough sense to stay far, far away from the GI Joe sequel whether he’s under contract or not.

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