Super 8 Gets a Trailer. A Real Trailer.

Wednesday morning links:

See, was this so hard? JJ Abrams finally has released a full-length, full-disclosure kind of trailer for the summer event movie Super 8. That’s about eight months since the original WTF teaser trailer turned people against the movie and started the Internet buzzing about it. OK, turned me against the movie. It’s already got JJ Abrams and Steven Spielberg, why do they have to bother making us ask unnecessary questions? All we originally got was a train crash and something pounding open a metal door with government insignias. But now we know a little more, without knowing it all. And that’s what a trailer is supposed to do, right? We know that Coach Taylor is getting his real shot at stardom as a local deputy. That some kids have a film of the train crash and its aftermath. That the crash scene looks pretty cool. We don’t ask for much — why did we have to wait like half a year for this? It seems pretty basic. The trailer is pretty cool, it just seems like a weird way to go about it all. GRADE: B

Here’s your daily dose of a bunch of links for troubled projects. Let’s start with Red Dawn, which had me wondering a couple months ago why we hadn’t heard anything about it — even though it was due out in November. Now not only does the story fail to mention a release date, but it explores the possibility of direct-to-DVD, or even having the movie shelved completely. Ouch. Can’t imagine that’s going to happen, it’s bound to get some kind of release.

Can’t have a discussion about troubled projects these days without mentioning Men in Black III. This isn’t terrible news all by itself that Alec Baldwin is leaving. It was probably a small part, and small parts are recast all the time for one reason or another. Baldwin’s absence is probably easily explained: The already announced hiatus extension cut into his 30 Rock schedule and he couldn’t do it. Easy peasy. But when you put it all together with everything the production has gone through, you read something like this and just shake your head wondering if the movie even stands a chance at being remotely entertaining with all the crap its gone through.

let's hope it all works out. adrianne palicki deserves a shot at wonder woman.

let's hope it all works out. adrianne palicki deserves a shot at wonder woman.

It’s never too early to get worried about a new TV show. Umm, wait, yes it is. You know when it’s too early? When the show hasn’t even been shot yet, let alone hasn’t been added to the schedule. Remember all those people last year — I was one of them — who worried about The Rockford Files reboot? Where did that get us? So while it’s easy to worry about Wonder Woman, it’s probably a lot of worry for nothing. When NBC announces it will anchor the Monday night schedule with Chuck in September? Then it’s time to worry. It;’s no wonder why people would worry since NBC has been putrid recently in developing high-concept action shows — Bionic Woman, Knight Rider, My Own Worst Enemy, The Cape, and, it certainly seems like The Event is going to end up in that poop pile. Worrying about a future movie is one thing. Once a studio starts production and starts filming, the movie rarely ever doesn’t make the big screen at some point. But more than half of the TV shows that get shot never make it past the pilot for whatever reason. Seeing as NBC had no problem pulling a high-profile project like Rockford Files last year, it would likely yank Wonder Woman if it isn’t up to snuff.

OK, now it might be a good time to get worried about Terra Nova. The first time the time-jumping dinosaur joint was delayed, we let it go because of its pedigree and the logic behind the delay. It made perfect sense to us that it wouldn’t be able to make a fall 2010 premiere because of the complexity around the production. I took it as good news, actually. Since when do TV networks ever say, “Hold on a second, let’s slow this down and get it right.” So when Fox said it would give the show some room to breathe in time for a two-night premiere backed by the power of American Idol in May, that sounded like great news. But now that Fox is putting it off (again) and blaming the complexity of the production (again), that smells like month-old fish to me.

this could mean future disaster

this could mean future disaster

The Charlie Sheen thing is getting a little scary on at least one front, the fact that these live shows are selling like people are under some kind of spell to buy them. So now instead of doing the noble thing and just fading away, Sheen is exploiting his own lunacy. That’s a nasty precedent to set. Can you imagine if every crackpot looking to extend their 15 minutes of fame does this and you have to read an announcement like, “Coming this week to the Sherman Theater, for no reason whatsoever, it’s Gary Busey!” Whoops, may have given someone an idea there. The only things that will save us now are terrible reviews for the show to the extreme where people say things like, “Don’t see this show — your children’s lives depend on it.”

To me, functional alcoholics have a few minimal characteristics, some of which obviously weren’t taken into account when the AV Club came up with this list. They have never had a sip of anything while working, but they have called off work to go drinking. They’ve never lost a relationship because of alcohol and they’ve never moved on to more serious drugs because alcohol wasn’t enough. They’ve also thought about quitting drinking on more than one occasion and if they haven’t already gotten a DUI, they can tell you a story about at least one close call. Can you tell I’ve had experience with this? This was 1998 to about 2008 to me. So here are some of the functional alcoholics left off the AV Club’s list:

The Buzz Beer owners, The Drew Carey Show. The cool thing to do in the 70s and 80s was sit around with your friends and talk about opening a bar — even though you never did. In the 90s it was how you should open a brewery. The Drew Carey friends did it basically so that they didn’t have to pay for beer anymore. That’s a pretty good reason.

The Fox, The Man Show. The guy slammed two beers at the end of every episode. That has to make you at least a little bit of an alcoholic, right?

Stone Cold Steve Austin, wrestler: Austin went through a couple different personas before he struck gold with the beer-swilling, I-don’t-give-a-&#@! one that’s made him millions. How much do you wanna bet it came from a drunken conversation in a bar? “All you do all day is bitch and moan and drink. Why don’t you just do that?”

Homer Simpson, The Simpsons. Not quite sure how they missed this one. Let’s just move on or else I’m going to get really, really angry. Also, let’s just make Seth McFarlane really mad and lump in Peter Griffin here to.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia gang. They’ve made up their own drinking terms — that’s a big one. Like “riot punch,” for grain alcohol and “brown out,” which isn’t as bad as a blackout but still involves shaky memories from the night before.

Doug and Bob McKenzie, SCTV and Strange Brew: I’m not sure how we’ve evolved into a society where beer is bad. Beer is awesome. The McKenzie boys have it right, hosers. It’s OK to love beer. We should all take lessons from them.

Bridget Gregory/Wendy Kroy, The Last Seduction: Alcohol is more of a vehicle here. It’s used to make Bridget look more like a tough woman. She goes into dive bars by herself to loosen up, the first thing she does when she leaves work is goes to a bar and as soon as she gets home, she pours herself a drink. Maybe alcohol is just a device here — but it’s a good one.

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