Finally, a Big News Day

Well it’s about time! There hasn’t been any good non-Charlie Sheen news around here in a while. We’re loaded today, right to it:

be very, very careful, hugh. please.

be very, very careful, hugh. please.

The only news that could have been worse for the next Wolverine movie would be if Hugh Jackman got pinched for DUI then started popping middle fingers, shouting racial slurs at the officers and snorting coke off the hood of his car while posing for the TMZ cameras that just happened to record the whole thing. Darren Aronofsky was going to save the Wolverine franchise. Not that it necessarily needed saving, but it certainly needed an infusion of actual heart, not phony, contrived, doomed romance. The Wolverine-in-Japan storyline is perfect for Aronofsky’s dark, layered style, and a perfect movie for the studio to say was its Dark Knight. Now, who knows. Aronofsky said the problem was the schedule and how it would interfere with his family life. Maybe that’s true, but the filming start date has been rumored for March, then April, now July — and with the radiation issues in Japan, who knows? I just know if my company told me today, “In July, we’re going to need you to go work in Japan for two months,” I’d be looking for a new job up until the second my plane left the ground. Just terrible, terrible news for the Wolverine franchise. It needs to make a big splash with a big-time, respected director.

Don’t read between the lines just yet, but on Thursday NBC renewed Community, The Office and Parks and Recreation for next year. The network had already renewed 30 Rock, giving it four formidable comedies for its Thursday comedy block that is easily the best on TV. That’s four comedies for next year, just four. Isn’t that how many are supposed to air in one night? Umm, that’s not what Outsourced and Perfect Couples thought. Well, let’s just forget about Perfect Couples for now. It’s a bad show and no one is watching it. The end. On the other hand, Outsourced is the fringe show — not terrible quality, not completely terrible ratings. At times, it’s actually funny. Who knew? But this whole six-comedy-a-night experiment? It’s done. It has to be, because it’s just not working. There are four ways Outsourced gets saved:

1. NBC decides to stick with the six-comedy Thursday night schedule. That’s about as likely as NBC bringing back Kath and Kim as the sixth comedy.

2. About 3 million more people, all men between the ages of 18-34, start watching it for the rest of the year. Zero chance of that happening.

3. Another zero chance — NBC sticks with the six-comedy-Thursday schedule. Just wanted to emphasize it.

4. NBC really, really wants to establish a new comedy night and needs one of its comedies from Thursday to jump to, say, Tuesday. Then Outsourced becomes a somewhat recognizable commodity to either stick around on Thursdays or to move to Tuesdays. This is looking like the only way Outsourced is back for next year. This completely depends on one thing — how much the NBC execs like the show.

that's right, costner. you're getting old too.

that's right, costner. you're getting old too.

When Diane Lane was cast as Ma Kent in Superman a couple weeks ago, you could probably picture Kevin Costner sitting back in his easy chair watching Bull Durham for the 67,925th time going, “Ba ha, she’s getting old. I had her back in the 80s.” Then the phone rang, it was his agent and you could see Costner’s face as he got the news that he was about to be cast as Clark Kent’s old man. Then there was an awkward silence, and all Costner said was, “Oooooooohhhh s—.” I don’t know why, but that seems hysterical to me. And how did I miss the fact that David Goyer is writing the script? Geez, it happened a year ago? Goyer sets off a red flag to me. I’m going to go ahead and renew my objection to him getting every superhero screenplay job that comes down the pike. He’s got 25 writing credits on his IMDB resume — and only Batman Begins and Dark Knight stand out. And the Nolans helped him with those! I’m still holding him responsible for the failure of FlashForward. Good to know that by including his dad and mom that we’re getting another origin story, it’s not like we haven’t seen two movies about that or a 10-season TV show or anything.

I’m an unpologetic Glee fan, and even a bigger fan of creator Ryan Murphy. But I’m also a fan of Dave Grohl, so I don’t know who to believe on this one. If Grohl is right, and Murphy is just making off a checklist of musicians that have wronged him and then blasting them in the media, that’s wrong. Glee is lucky it gets the people it does, I’m surprised more people don’t tell them to eff off.

If these are the 25 best courtoom dramas, then apparently I don’t like courtroom dramas. I own exactly one of these movies (Few Good Men, which I consider a perfect movie) and wouldn’t even stop on the other 24 if I saw them on TV. In fact, other than Few Good Men, my biggest memory of any of these other movies is Presumed Innocent being mentioned in the original Sir Simon Milligan-Hecubus sketch in Kids in the Hall. “Hecubus, have you seen Presumed Innocent?” “Yes I have, Master. And his wife killed her!” I can’t beg you to watch this clip, but if you want to see what I believed was funny growing up, this is about as close as it gets. I could watch this all day and it wouldn’t get old.

If the great weather didn’t get you psyched up for spring and summer, maybe this will — today is the first major wave of summer concerts going on sale. Missed Phish’s Memorial Day thing at Bethel Woods going on sale last weekend, but there are a bunch coming in the next couple days. Sherman Theater has Disco Biscuits and Mike Posner going on sale this afternoon, Bethel Woods has Hall and Oates going on sale Monday, Penn’s Peak has .38 Special and Whitesnake going on sale tomorrow, Montage has Motley Crue/Poison on sale tomorrow and the Allentown Fairgrounds has Journey/Foreigner/Night Ranger going on sale tomorrow. Musikfest already announced Maroon 5 and a couple others. That’s not exactly setting the world on fire, but … isn’t it nice outside!

In the last two months, MTV has said it is bringing back Beavis and Butthead and now announced 120 Minutes is coming back. Know what that means? We’re may be mere weeks away from seeing another comeback, please, please, please …

V just doesn’t look like it’s going to make it another year, even though it appears to be the “Save our show!!!” choice of the moment. You can’t blame ABC if they chuck it. The show is expensive, it’s fraught with inescapable plotholes on a weekly basis, and worst of all, not many people are watching. That’s a scary trifecta. Maybe it should have been on NBC, because that sounds like the description for Chuck. Actually, Chuck’s saving grace is that it doesn’t seem that expensive. When I watch — which is rare — I always get the feeling the budget has been slashed so much that they’ll be using stock footage for explosions. Like, Casey shoots a rocket at some bad guy’s fortress, and you see a picture of an explosion you swear you saw on A-Team or something.

You know what is coming back? Being Human, the Syfy version. I checked out after two weeks, I just didn’t see anything that made it worth my time that wasn’t included in the original on BBC America. And while we’re at it, is BBC America gone from Blue Ridge’s OnDemand menu too? Because it’s gone from Comcast’s. I haven’t seen one Being Human (British version) episode this year because Saturday nights are not the best time for me to watch, so I always caught up OnDemand. Then when I went looking for it OnDemand, poof! It’s gone. Yet another reason for me to hate Comcast. Now I have to wait for the DVDs or break down and start subscribing to DVR.

you didn't need directv to watch morehead state's upset yesterday

you didn't need directv to watch morehead state's upset yesterday

Although cable finally got the NCAA Tournament right yesterday. Why was this so hard? It’s been 20 years — 20!!! — since CBS became the sole provider of tournament coverage and the God of telling us which game we could watch. DirecTV fixed a broken system somewhat in the late 90s, but I was spending upwards of $100 sitting at the bar all day just to make sure I could watch all the games. That ended last night with the four-network system. Yeah, I actually worried for a second there because I honestly didn’t know if I got TruTV in HD (I do) or what channel it was on (841, found out on Tuesday). And I worried about Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith in the studio, but that was easily avoidable thanks to the staggered starts that kept only two games at the half at any one time. For the most part, I completely enjoyed being able to watch the games in my own house without having to shell out extra money to DirecTV or to whatever bar I was at. So thanks, cable. It’s about 10 years too late, but thanks.

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