Wonder Why Wonder Woman Costume Was Bad

This is it. This may be the snowstorm that pushes me over the edge. Seriously. I’m just not sure how much more I can take. Snow on the first day of spring is one thing. Snow on Phillies’ opening day is another. Maybe I can distract you from the unholy crap falling from the sky with some links, and we’re video-heavy today:

this is better ... why?

this is better ... why?

That was quick. We’ve already got a new Wonder Woman costume about a week or so after we found out what the first one would look like. What was the problem with the first one though? I know there was a big Internet outrage — as opposed to the universal acceptance Twitter dorks usually hit us with — but really, why was it so bad? Perhaps you’d rather go back to the Lynda Carter days of Wonder Woman wearing an unflattering read, white and blue bathing suit? So you have two choices — a modernization of the traditional Wonder Woman costume, or a complete rebranding of the whole Wonder Woman brand and just have her show up in her work clothes. Or maybe a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt or something. People seem to be more accepting of this latest costume, but really, I can’t tell the difference. At least not enough that I would breathe some big sigh of relief and stop waking up in the middle of the night screaming, “No Diana, no! Don’t wear that!!!!” I guess the heels are pretty much gone, but what fun is that? Show me any guy who thinks it’s a good idea to put a smoking-hot Adrianne Palicki in smaller heels instead of bigger ones, and I’ll show you a guy who, umm, has YouTube’d his own version of at least 10 dance routines from Glee. Frankly, I don’t see why Wonder Woman can’t fight crime in 8-inch stiletto heels.

Matthew Weiner is officially back at Mad Men, signing a two-year deal with the possibility of a third. That leaves the door open for a seventh season, with seasons five and six guaranteed. I just … I just don’t think the show will have enough juice by the end of that seventh season to warrant an eighth. It’s not going to surprise me one bit to hear about Jon Hamm, John Slattery, January Jones or Elizabeth Moss leaving the show. The rumor is that to make up some of the money spent on Weiner’s raise, he’s going to have to elimiate a character or two from the cast to save the studio money. Maybe Jon Hamm does into Weiner’s office and plays it off all coy, “You know, I don’t want to do this, but these people are my family, I don’t want to see them lose their jobs, you can get rid of me.” Then he whips up some fake tears, but stops for just a second to peek at Weiner to see if he’s buying any of it. Then Slattery does the same thing, and so on, to the point where the main actors are angling to get killed off. Not to mention they all have an easy out — lung cancer.

If you’re a high-price publicist looking for work, you might want to get your resume ready. No way Natalie Portman’s flack makes it through the weekend. In the last two weeks, poor Natalie is getting hammered for using a dancing double in Black Swan and a possible butt double in Your Highness. She’s going to reach Meryl Streep-on-Seinfeld levels soon. “Oh that Natalie Portman, she’s such a phony baloney!” Watching Black Swan in the theater about 20 minutes in, my wife was awed by how incredible a dancer Natalie Portman was. I said there’s no way she could be doing all that dancing, someone has to be doing it for her. So we both watched very closely for the rest of the movie to see how much dancing Portman was actually doing. And it was a lot. The times you could call her into question were very, very rare. So however much she did, it was still impressive. As for the butt double — whatever. Really, whatever. If you watch the trailer closely, you can clearly tell almost all of it is her, to the point where you wonder why they would have used a butt double in the first place. Starting with Black Swan in December, the lady has five movies coming out in six months. She probably had to use doubles because she couldn’t be on the set the whole time. I’m just not quite sure how anyone could say this isn’t her.

On to trailers that have nothing to do with butts, like Hangover 2. Let me preface this by saying it looks 100 percent like the original. It looks like they took the first movie script, put the guys in Bangkok and did the whole thing over again. It looks, sounds and feels exactly the same. It’s the exact kind of sequel I despise. So why couldn’t I stop laughing? I’m so freaking torn on this. I want to hate everything about this movie after immediately recognizing this was the same movie, but I laughed at least four times in the two-minute trailer. I don’t know what to do. Somebody help, leave some thoughts or advice in the comments about the trailer, maybe that will help. GRADE: B+

I missed the memo where the first Green Lantern trailer was that bad. Was it? Maybe I have selective memory, or maybe my man-crush on Ryan Reynolds was just a little too strong, but I didn’t think it was that bad. More costume complaining I don’t understand? It looks exactly like it did in the comic, exactly like it did in the Justice League shows. The mask is kinda silly, yeah, but that’s what it’s supposed to be. Don’t blame the movie, blame the artist from the 50s that drew such a stupid mask. What should be more worrisome is that it seems like the movie is being rushed.

In case anyone was holding out hope that Wil Arnett would be the new boss at Sabre Scranton, forget it. He’s been cast in a new NBC pilot. He may end up on Thursday nights, but it won’t be on The Office.

Two local events of note coming up:

Sarah Street Grill will hold its annual anniversary party on April 11 with the best gimmick in the county. Whatever year anniversary it is, that’s how much of the proceeds go to a local charity. This year, that charity is the Sherman Theater. I’ve done a story on this for a couple years now, and I keep forgetting to ask owner Dave Lapoint how long the restaurant can keep this up for. What happens if it ends up being 101? Cool event either way, and a good way to support the Sherman and get drunk at the same time. Everyone wins!

BTW, tickets for Drake at the Sherman go/went on sale at noon today.

This is an interesting concert to about five people, and one of them is me. Only for one reason — to see if John Oates sings Possession Obsession. I’d pay to see that. And not even as a joke — I’d actually pay to see that. For some reason, I remember as a 9-year-old being really weirded out by Oates singing lead. That, and by his mustache. One of the craziest mustaches of all time, it kills me that he shaved it. But I am still fascinated with that song. He has the chance to bring it to another level by singing it from behind the wheel of a fake taxi cab with surprise guest Darryl Hall showing up and doing some frightening, half-assed doo-wop-like dance in the background.

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