Some Questions That Need Answers

Monday linkage:

DID THE GREEN LANTERN SITUATION GET WORSE OR BETTER? This was supposed to be the weekend that Green Lantern made a comeback at WonderCon, when they showed a four-minute trailer-type thing to make up for what they thought was a poop trailer. But this one is worse because it looks like a video game. And not even a PS3 game, a PS2 game! If I wanted to see a video game on screen, I’d watch Avatar. The word is that they’re going back and really trying to iron out the visual effects, and boy do they need to. It looks like it was done in a college class. Or that they ran out of budget money when they got to visual effects so they said, “Ummmm, can we get an intern to do it or something?” And no one could come up with a better solution. What’s even more troubling is that they’ve severely cut down on Ryan Reynolds screen time from the first trailer. If you were invested in this guy for millions, a couple sequels and months of pre-release marketing, you should want his face all over this trailer. Instead, we get about two solid minutes of weird-looking aliens that may or may not have come right out of the Cantina Bar. I was almost expecting the most-human-resembling one to turn to Hal Jordan and tell him about how he’s got the death sentence in 12 different systems. I want to like this movie, I really do. But Warner Brothers is making it hard.

"i salute you marvel for whoring me out to sell a movie."

"i salute you marvel for whoring me out to sell a movie."

IS THIS THE WORST SELL-OUT IN COMICS HISTORY? There is no limit to selling out. Anyone and everyone can, will and has done it. Now it’s Captain America’s turn. The superhero that stood for America possibly more than any other comic book character is being pimped out by Marvel to capitalize on the upcoming Cap movie, and letting Steve Rogers take the suit back from his sidekick. Oh, and by the way, he was supposed to be dead. The movie comes out on July 23 — wanna guess when the issue will be coming out where Rogers comes back? No, really, go ahead. Take a wild stab at it. If you somehow came up with July, you got it! Nothing is safe anymore. Nothing. It’s hard not to be surprised about this, but just as hard to be OK with it. No truth to the rumor than before the Spider-Man movie comes out next year, Marvel will have him starting the first spider-on-spider love affair with Venom.

IS THE CHARLIE SHEEN TOUR DOOMED? The surprising part isn’t that Charlie Sheen got booed in Detroit, people left during the show and it ended early. That was pretty predictable. The surprising part is that the audience apparently expected something better to happen. Like … what, exactly? What would anyone expect Charlie Sheen to do? If I ever would consider buying a ticket for this show, I’d say the debacle in Detroit would actually be the best case scenario. That he had no material, that the show licked dirt to the point that it was fun and that I would be able to nearly incite a riot by starting a “Refund!” chant. Otherwise, what are you going for? If you were really serious about going to the show and thought you would be entertained in any other way than it being unintetionally funny, what could possibly make it entertaining? He could come out and recreate his best scenes from Major League, Platoon, Wall Street, Red Dawn and the make-out scene from Ferris Bueller and it would only be passably entertaining. It’s a funny thing about crazy people. When you’re hearing them for free, they’re hysterical. When you pay $50 to hear their drivel, it’s pretty annoying. I think Ozzie Guillen, the manager of the Chicago White Sox, is certifiably crazy and is hysterical when he goes off on whatever is bothering him that day. But if I paid to see him do it, I’d question my own sanity. At least Sheen changed it up in Chicago and got a better response.

IS RYAN MURPHY MELLOWING? Finally, Ryan Murphy has cooled down a little over Kings of Leon telling him thanks but no thanks on the use of one of their songs. Now I can like him again.

i can wait. i can wait. i can wait. maybe if i say it enough times it will be true.

i can wait. i can wait. i can wait. maybe if i say it enough times it will be true.

HOW DO I WATCH FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS? So here’s my FNL dilemma. Season 5 comes out on DVD tomorrow after it already ran on DirecTV months ago. It doesn’t start running on NBC for another two weeks (April 15 premiere date). If I get the DVDs through my Blockbuster queue, I can watch them at my own pace, whenever I want. But this release date coincides with the return of just about every show I watch for original episodes over the next six or seven weeks, and I have no idea when I’d squeeze in FNL. Plus, I’ve added a new show, since I’m pretty sure I’m all in on The Killing after last night’s pretty good premiere. Right now my only open night is Monday, but when all my shows are on, I usually use that to play catch-up on whatever show I didn’t get time for the week before. Also, if I’m watching the FNL DVDs, then I’m not renting the movies I wanna catch up on. I’m still really dying to see The Fighter and 127 Hours, and haven’t had them delivered yet because I’ve spent the last couple weeks catching up on Dexter season 4 (really behind, I know). And that’s about how long it takes me to watch a 13-episode show on DVD anymore, about three weeks. And the Phillies came back this week, which puts a serious crimp in my TV viewing. So I think I just talked myself out of the DVDs, and I’ll be watching it OnDemand. Thanks for letting me think that through, it’s much easier when I can get it out of my head. I usually tell people who watch it on DirecTV not to tell me what happened, now I’ve got to tell people who watch the DVDs not to tell me what happened. Or maybe I’ll win a copy and won’t have to worry about it clogging up my queue.

In case you’re wondering, here is my TV viewing schedule as new episodes get ready to come back:

MONDAY: Boring. Nothing on because I’m completely over Chuck. Catch up on last week.

completely earned a spot in my weekly rotation this year.

completely earned a spot in my weekly rotation this year.

TUESDAY: Glee, Raising Hope, Lights Out, Traffic Light if I feel like it. Lights Out is the series finale tomorrow, so that helps clear out a spot.

WEDNESDAY: The Middle, Modern Family, Mr. Sunshine, Justified. Cougar Town when it comes back and if I’m in the mood. I’ll be giving Happy Endings and Breaking In a try too in the next couple weeks.

THURSDAY: Community, Vampire Diaries, The Office, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock.

FRIDAY: Fringe. FNL when it comes back.

SUNDAY: Simpsons, The Killing, Family Guy when I’m in the mood, Bob’s Burgers when I really have time.

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