Fall TV Skeds for ABC, CBS

Big concert announcement came in from them Tuesday night — Elton John on Sept. 4. That means the roster of performers they have this summer now includes Phish (for two shows), Janet Jackson, Elton John, Tim McGraw, 311 and Sublime and more. They’ve got all of those big-name acts and are still able to keep cultural shows like the New York Philharmonic and the New York Pops on the docket. I’d say they’ve officially arrived, no?

Perhaps that’s a hint for where some of the concert giveaways will be coming from this summer. I should have a ticket announcement tomorrow, btw.

Back to All TV All the Time Week, with more fall schedule announcements:

ABC

GONE: V, Better With You, Mr. Sunshine, The Whole Truth, My Generation, Detroit 1-8-7, No Ordinary Family, Off the Map, Brothers and Sisters

BUBBLE SHOWS THAT MADE IT: Happy Endings, Body of Proof

isn't it about time christina ricci came to tv? that's one reason to watch pan am. now if i could only come up with another ...

isn't it about time christina ricci came to tv? that's one reason to watch pan am. now if i could only come up with another ...

COMING IN: Dramas Once Upon a Time (8 p.m. Sundays), Pan Am (10 p.m. Sundays), Charlies Angels (8 p.m. Thursdays) and Revenge (10 p.m. Wednesdays); Sitcoms Last Man Standing (8 p.m. Tuesdays), Man Up (8:30 p.m. Tuesdays), Suburgatory (8:30 p.m. Wednesdays); midseason replacement dramas Good Christian Belles, Missing, Once Upon a Time, The River, Scandal and comedies Apartment 23 and Work It.

TOP 5 BUZZIEST NEW SHOWS: 1. Charlies Angels 2. Last Man Standing 3. Once Upon a Time 4. Pan Am 5. Good Christian Belles (Only because it used to be called Good Christian Bitches. No, seriously. I’m not making that up.)

VERDICT: This is a pretty important year for ABC. It’s not overthrowing Fox’s demo numbers, and it’s not coming close to CBS’s total viewers numbers. But with a new management team at NBC promising to turn things around, is there a danger ABC could be smelling NBC on its heels? How else do you explain the network canceling nine — NINE!!! — shows this year, including seven of the nine shows it debuted this year? The two shows that made to a second season — Body of Proof and Happy Endings — were midseason replacements. Ouch babe. You can almost say that ABC needs a hit worse than NBC does because no one is expecting NBC to do anything. If ABC goes through another year like last year, the “Clean out the basement NBC, you’ve got company coming down there!” jokes will start flying. Instead of focusing on a couple of shows and making sure they actually belong on the air, the network is going with the Spaghetti Approach — throw a bunch of stuff at the wall and something is bound to stick. It’s launching a second comedy block, and neither show looks like it would make me even giggle. But the 8 p.m. Last Man Standing entry welcomes back a familiar face — Tim Allen in the same timeslot Home Improvement had for, what, like 28 years or something? Maybe that’s just how long it seems like the show was on for. The only problem is it seems like the exact same crap — just throwing a familiar TV veteran into a every-day but weird situation. That’s the same thing ABC did with Hank two years ago, and that turned out to be one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen on TV. It shows a complete lack of effort. Whatever. LAst Man Standing also has the honor of airing what could be the most insultingly terrible trailer I’ve seen in a while:

Anyone who can watch that trailer three times without wanting to stick a pencil in their eyes

Charlies Angels could be cool, or it could be the most ridiculous thing on the fall schedule of any network. But we’ll go ahead and give it the PopRox Minka Kelly pass for now. Although the photos the stars posed for look like they came off their Facebook pages. The Once Upon a Time show sounds cool, and other than Terra Nova, it’s one of the few fall shows that sounds like it’s actually taking any kind of creative chance. Sunday is turning out to be an tough night. Maybe with the NFL lockout, the networks smell possible blood in the water and are loading up the schedule in case there is no football. Not quite sure why ABC is holding Cougar Town until midseason, but I’m sure there’s a reason. It might not make any sense, but there’s probably a reason. Since ABC is holding 30 Rock til midseason to account for Tina Fey’s pregnancy, we should totallystart the rumor that Cougar Town is off til January because Courtney Cox is pregnant with on-again-off-again husband David Arquette. Soooooo … hey, did you hear who’s pregnant?!?!?! GRADE: B-

CBS

GONE: The Defenders, Poop My Dad Says, Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior, Mad Love, CSI NY

good wife will be back, but now on sundays

good wife will be back, but now on sundays

BUBBLE SHOWS THAT MADE IT: The Good Wife, CSI Miami, Blue Bloods

COMING IN: Dramas Person of Interest (9 p.m. Thursdays), Unforgettable (10 p.m. Tuesdays), A Gifted Man (8 p.m. Fridays); sitcoms 2 Broke Girls (8:30 p.m. Mondays) and How to Be a Gentleman (8:30 p.m. Thursdays).

TOP 5 BUZZIEST NEW SHOWS: Let’s cut this to two since it only has five shows. 1. Person of Interest 2. 2 Broke Girls

VERDICT: I always get the feeling that when CBS makes out their schedule for the last five years, they do it sitting at a beach bar in Miami or something. All the executive are just kinda hanging out, talking half about work and half about how hungover they are. They get a little drunk and just start throwing out the names of shows and times they fit in, and then everyone says, “Sure!” Except for the one guy who’s already hitting on some ditzy 22-year-old college grad, saying he could get her a guest spot on King of Queens while his buddies try to hold in the laughter knowing it got canceled five years ago. I probably think about these things a little too much. But for all the pre-announcement talk about how CBS was going to try and get younger, they brought in two crime dramas, a Ghost Whisperer clone and two laugh-track sitcoms. C’mon! Gimme something to get excited about! Well actually, it did. I was reading the synopsis for How to be a Gentleman and literally started yawning. But then I kept reading and got to the secondary cast — Dave Foley (from Kids in the Hall), Mary Lynn Rajskub (Chloe from 24) and Rhys Darby (Murray from Flight of the Conchords). And then I saw the star and creator is David Hornsby, Cricket from Always Sunny. You had me at Dave Foley, CBS. You had me at Dave Foley. That cast is even enough to overlook the fact that Kevin Dillon will somehow continue to get work after Entourage. I can’t even remember a time I was excited about a CBS show, but I am now. And even though there is probably only a 5 percent chance I’d watch 2 Broke Girls, applause to CBS for signing on with long time PopRox-approved “Why isn’t she a star???” actress Kat Dennings. Not sure what moving The Good Wife to Sundays is going to do. Is CBS expecting some kind of miracle where putting it on what is quickly becoming TV’s busiest night will result in big ratings? I hope not. For the most part, though, it’s business as usual around CBS — laugh tracks and cop shows. I’m not kidding, I just yawned at my desk typing that. And I predict that no one will realize CSI is moving from the Thursday night spot its held for about a decade to Wednesdays, since it looks like everything else on the CBS schedule. SITCOM CASTING GRADES: A+. OVERALL GRADE: C+

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