Tranny 3 Rules the World as Smart People Plan for Forthcoming Apocalypse

Hope everyone had a great 4th!

Just a word of thanks to anyone that stopped by the live chat on Friday, much appreciated! I’d love to do more, I’m thinking another one for the start of the TV season. We’ll see how it goes.

Links:

LATE BREAKING UPDATE, 1:38 p.m.: James Spader will be the new boss on The Office. I’m … I’m not sure what to think. He was probably the funniest of the candidates in the season finale, but he was also the least attractive star-wise. I don’t think I’m happy, but I’ll mull it over tonight and see.

they're probably not laughing as much now.

they're probably not laughing as much now.

Well tanks for nuttin’, Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. Until this Larry Crowne disaster ($13.1 million, which doesn’t even cover Roberts’ quote) there was still a chance that Green Lantern could be the biggest bomb of the summer. Now my “summer box office bomb streak” is pretty much dead. Although the budget is reported at $30 million, and there’s a good chance Larry Crowne will gross at least that much. So maybe I’m still alive!

Wait, there was another movie last weekend? Hmmmmm, thinking, thinking, thinking … nope, don’t know what it was. If there was a bigger movie last weekend, I certainly won’t plan on ever seeing it, and it would take a Obama showing up on my doorstep and begging me to go while on his hands and knees and then offering to babysit for me to see it in the theater. Not even sure I’d go then. On the bright side, one person in the PopRox chat last Friday said thanks to all the complaints in the chat about the overall BS of the movie, they decided they won’t go to see it. You know how the cops say “If we save one life, it’s worth it”? Well if I can help keep one person from paying to see Tranny 3, then this blog is worth it.

he's got everyone fooled somehow

he's got everyone fooled somehow

Look everyone, it’s crappy franchise day! Step right up and take your rightful spot at the podium, Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny Depp is getting ready to sign on for a fifth Pirates movie, because, you know, he’s all about the art and stuff. Oh, and because he probably made $50 million or so from the fourth one and those South Pacific islands don’t buy themselves! Every now and then I look at Johnny Depp’s IMDB resume to remind myself he’s the most overrated actor of this generation.

Woops, can’t forget about you, GI Joe. Although if you want to get me interested, you’ve figured out a pretty good way to do it. Mmmmmmm, Tyra.

OK, enough with the crappy franchises. Looks like everyone is trying to figure out how to make an X-Men sequel right now. Hey, I have an idea! Get the actual first class of Professor X’s mutants! Anyway, the interesting thing will be how long a sequel takes to hit the screen. The X-Men universe has two films that look like they’re ready to roll with Wolverine and Deadpool, but neither look like they’ll be 2012 releases. If one is 2013 and the other is 2014, does that push the X-Men sequel back to 2015? Seems like four years is a long time between X-Men movies. It seems like it’s taking forever for a third Batman and that’s a four-year lag time. Not sure if X-Men has the juice to hold on to a four-year wait. Maybe if Wolverine comes out in summer 2013 and Deadpool comes out for Christmas 2013, then the next X-Men could release in summer 2014.

he actually said the roast will be "epic." that in itself tells you this roast is a bad comedy idea.

he actually said the roast will be "epic." that in itself tells you this roast is a bad comedy idea.

Comedy roasts are awesome. They’re hysterical. But normally the people that get roasted haven’t been in the news that much, so revisiting their career issues is funny. “Pam Anderson is a dirty whore” jokes may have been played out in the late 90s, but in 2005? Very, very funny. “William Shatner is a crazy loon” jokes were lame by the 80s, but in 2006? Pretty funny. We haven’t had enough time to recover from the Charlie Sheen jokes to go right back to the well. So if the comedians are going to want to go original, they’re going to have to mine that Major League 2 field. Or Three Musketeers. How about this one, maybe from Nick DiPaolo. “We all thought Terminal Velocity was just a movie, we didn’t know it was how you planned your career.” Everyone tip your waitress, please.

Isn’t it a little late to be talking about the transformation of the TV schedule, how cable has used the summer to premiere its biggest shows? Seems a little late. Like, about five years late. This has been developing since the early 2000s, I always point to the debut of Monk on USA as the show that started the Summer Cable Premiere Extravaganza. It also seems a little ill-timed, since this is the worst year for summer premieres in a good couple of years. Maybe that’s only because Mad Men won’t be on anymore, but I have exactly three shows right now in my summer rotation — Wilfred, Burn Notice and now the last two episodes of Friday Night Lights. Rescue Me (July 13 premiere) and Breaking Bad (July 17 premiere, as long as I can get through the last season) will be added in the coming weeks, but there were summers the last couple years where I went seven or eight shows deep. This summer has been pretty disappointing for TV. Have at it in the comments down yonder if you think I’m talking crap, yo.

the answers is yes, i can't believe it's taken me like three years to run a picture of charisma carpenter

the answers is yes, i can't believe it's taken me like three years to run a picture of charisma carpenter

And actually, I was thinking of dumping Burn Notice. I’m just not feeling it this year. Then, I saw this. And now I’m sticking with it 100 percent and will be watching every episode with complete and utter attention on the off chance she might show up before the 11th episode. She’s in my top 5 of all time.

The level of excitement for Glee constantly amazes me. This is a show that Ryan Murphy has said took ridiculous amounts of convincing and back-door merchandising deals just to get on the air, a show that no one thought would succeed when it premiered. Then it took a whole year before it really caught on, and now it’s Fox’s biggest scripted show and one of the five best shows on TV. I love Glee and loved it right from the pilot episode, so I almost feel proud when I see a non-story about Glee get some Internet heat. The fact that Michael Chang and Blaine will be upped to full-timers on the show is pretty lame, since even the regular stars of the show not named Mr. Schu, Rachel or Finn only appear in about three-quarters of the episodes. But it just shows you the power of the show now. Not really that broken up about Sam getting the heave-ho, he’s pretty played out at this point. Break up the hot couple, get the homeless sympathy, screw up Finn’s life, donzo.

Congratulations, Marvel. You’ve managed to come up with an ideaI can’t even consider supporting. If DC decides to side with the Phillies, I swear, I’m switching my official comic book affiliation.

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