Chicken Wings and Beer … Perfect Together

get 'em while we got 'em

get 'em while we got 'em

Since we’re still keeping it all local on Fridays, it’s a good time to remind everyone about the ZZ Top tickets we have up for grabs. Two lawn seats to the Aug. 20 show to one lucky winner. The normal PopRox rules apply, but since I haven’t officially posted the rules yet, here they are:

–Entries are accepted electronically only, so you’ll have to email your entry in to me, Facebook message me or DM me on Twitter. Just include your name, town, age and your daytime contact information. Deadline is this Wednesday, Aug. 17.

–One entry per person, per e-mail address. If I get two entries from the same e-mail, I’m deleting them both. 

–If you enter by messaging the PopRox account on Facebook or DM-ing on Twitter, it counts twice. Almost all of the recent winners have randomly come from Facebook entries, hint hint.

–Whichever message method you choose is the only way you can enter. If you email your entry in, you cannot Facebook it in too. If I get an email entry and a Facebook entry, I’ll be deleting the Facebook entry. That means instead of getting two entries through Facebook, you’ll only get one entry through email. 

–Please know that you can go if you enter.

That’s it! Good luck, and get those entries in quick.

Here’s what we gots going on this weekend and a little beyond:

this is what chicken wings are supposed to look like ...

this is what chicken wings are supposed to look like ...

... not like this

... not like this

I’m a chicken wing person. I’ve been doing it since high school and like Ralphie with soap in his mouth, I’ve become quite the connoisseur. That’s why it’s always good to see the 16th Pocono Wing-Off back on the docket at Fernwood from noon to 4 Sunday. I’ve only been to one of these before, but it was pretty good. Here’s the problem — I haven’t had wings from one of the restaurants that will be there. I know, I suck. My brother used to live in Wind Gap and always raves about the wings at Detzi’s though. He’s as much of a wing person as I am, so I would consider it a good recommendation. The only problem with these wing festivals for me is that I’m not the “flavored wing” kind of guy, like ranch or salt and vinegar or any of that BS. Hot wings or nothing. NOTHING!!! To me, eating anything other than hot wings (or maybe mild if you can’t really take it) is the equivalent of drinking Coor’s Light. There’s no point, and it kinda makes you girly. Actually, you can probably match up every kind of wing in the world with a beer. Because, you know, wings must, must, must be washed down witha beer as long as it’s legal. Maybe this is something a bar like Gem and Keystone should do, try to match beers to wing flavors. Wait, everyone should do that! Let’s try it, using the Jock and Jill’s wing sauce flavors, only because they were really easy to find and link to:

the best beer with the best kind of wings. that was easy.

the best beer with the best kind of wings. that was easy.

Hot: Yuengling Lager. No arguments will be taken on this.

Mild: Miller Lite. Mild is a little girly. So you might as well drink a beer that’s a little girly.

Extra hot: I’m not an extra hot guy because if it’s done right, you can only get like two or three down before you have to call uncle. What fun is that? It’s almost a poser thing to do, so get some kind of microbrew like Dogfish (which I hate) if you’re doing extra hot and say things like, “You know, I may have only been able to eat half of this one wing, but I really like the hops in this beer.” You’ll fit right in.

Thai peanut: My old man’s party signature is making a kielbasi tray and putting weird stuff on each piece. It started out as a joke, but it got such response that he kept doing it and makes a concerted effort to get weirder every year. He’ll put broccoli, Cheez-Its, olives and even beets on them. None of it makes sense to me, just like “thai peanut” doesn’t make sense to me. You know what beer doesn’t make sense to me? Miller High Life. Why doesn’t it taste good? It should, right? It’s by the most boring beer company in the world, it’s supposed to be their high end beer … so why does it taste like Jim Carrey just peed in the bottle and I’m the state trooper pulling him over? Although my joke about this scene is always, “How does the guy know the difference between Coors Light and pee?” I’m funny.

Chili garlic: For some reason, this just sounds like something that came straight from Mexico, so Dos Equis.

Stoli O’Poppyseed: You can’t drink vodka with wings. If you’re eating wings correctly, you’ll be hammered in an hour. But since this sounds just about as girly as one could possibly get while still sounding somewhat cool and sophisticated, drink Heineken with this.

Peanut butter and jelly: Coors Light. You wanna eat wings like a kid, you can drink beer like a kid.

BBQ: This is for ribs, not for wings. I don’t know why anyone would waste good BBQ sauce on good wings. So drink Blue Moon with this, since bartenders for some reason have been taught to put that stupid orange in every Blue Moon. It’s a good beer, why do I need that damn orange???

Hot honey: The “at least you’re trying to be a man” wing flavor. But still not good enough. A good Busch pounder probably works here, because it makes you look like a grizzled old man, but it tastes like donkey turds.

let's see, what beer should you drink with guinness bbq wings, hmmmmm ...

let's see, what beer should you drink with guinness bbq wings, hmmmmm ...

Guiness BBQ: Duh.

McHales: Let me go on record as saying I hate McHales flavor. It reminds me of something that was invented because foodies didn’t want to be left out when all their friends were eating hot wings. To me, it’s the anti-wing, something created for the masses. So Bud Light seems appropriate.

Teriyaki garlic: No brainer. Sapporo.

Garlic parm and garlic ranch: They’re about the same thing and they both sound like someone just went to town on trying to do anything but put regular wing sauce on it. But since the Garlic Festival is coming up (just got a press release this morning), and this region fancies itself quite the garlic territory, why not try it with some Pocono Pale Ale (even though it’s actually made in Wilkes-Barre, clearly not part of the Poconos).

Raspberry chipotle: I don’t even know where to begin with this one, because I have no idea what it is. But if you need to have fruit in your wings, drink a Corona with it since you need that lime in the Corona or else it takes like pee-flavored beer. 

See! I can do it! And that’s right off the top of my head! I expect my phone to be ringing off the hook with local restaurants asking me to match wing flavors with beers. any second now …

OK, now …

Waiting … waiting …

Damn.

If you think I missed anything, be sure to leave you’re favorite wing flavor-beer pairing in the comments or on the Facebook page comments.

Last week I said if I was still 18 I’d be all over the under 21 night party at Camelbeach. So now I’ll say “If I didn’t just have a kid a month ago today” I’d be front and center for the Liquid Party at Camelbeach tonight. Love, love, love this idea and am seriously ticked something like this didn’t happen a couple years earlier. It’s my fault for not thinking of it, I probably could have figured out a way to make it happen back then. I love the tiki bar at Camelbeach, I love Camelbeach, I love night swimming and I love drinking… what’s not to like about this idea? Hats off to anyone who put this together, I hope it’s a success so that by the time I can leave my kids for a whole night, they’re still having this.

Camelbeach is also hosting the finals of the Flow Tour USA on Saturday and Sunday after the penultimate tour stop was at Split Rock on Saturday. I’ve tried the Flow Rider, and suffice it to say … I’m no good. So good luck to the people who think it’s a good idea to become professionals at this and dedicate their lives to it, which I guess is kinda like becoming a professional mini-golfer.

I still haven’t been to Pub 5-7-0 yet, my bad. I was there a couple times when it was Bennigan’s, but it’s a little off my radar now out that way. But they seem to have cool entertainment every weekend. Tonight it’s a DJ and tomorrow is Sweet Charity Band. I remember talking to those guys a couple years back when they were just starting out with the idea that whatever gig they play, they’ll donate 15 percent of their fee to charity. I think they were starting with a couple gigs at KC’s in Stroudsburg and seeing if it would catch on. Obviously it has, good to see they’re still keeping the charity thing up. I wanna say that picture on the front page of their website is from inside the old IBW building in East Stroudsburg, I think it is.

Longtime readers will know that I’m on record early and often of not being a fan of the Grateful Dead, or of jam bands in general. That doesn’t mean my readers aren’t, in fact I know of bunch of them that are. Weirdos. So for those of you that are Dead fans, you’ll probably want to be up in Milford on Saturday at the Black Walnut Inn on Firetower Road. The bar is hosting a Grateful Dead Fest starting at 2 p.m. with seven different bands. $10 at the door, but that’s for seven hours of music. And why do I get the nagging feeling it will go past 9 p.m.? Maybe it’s because it takes six hours to play one Dead song, so it will be tough to fit in seven whole bands in that time.

worth it

worth it

The Ted Nugent show at Penn’s Peak is sold out on Sunday, but it has some other shows going on sale tomorrow. Willie Nelson, Jo Dee Messina, REO Speedwagon — but the only one I’m interested in is Rusted Root on Sept. 23. Saw them at the Electric Factory in Philly a couple years ago and I’d recommend their shows to anyone. And no, they’re not a jam band. They’re not a jam band, are they? Crap. OK, so I guess I like one jam band.

Have a great weekend everyone!

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