To All Those Holding Their Breath … Exhale. Please.

Short on time yet again today, but I’ll be back tomorrow with full links. Just wanted to quickly mention one of the dumbest things I’ve heard a supposedly smart person say in quite some time.

no one wants to see more arrested development than me -- but i'm not even close to thinking it's happening

no one wants to see more arrested development than me -- but i'm not even close to thinking it's happening

During an Arrested Development reunion event in New York City on Sunday, show creator Mitch Hurwitz, for the 5 trillionth time, said there will be an Arrested Development movie. Fine. That’s his job. He’s supposed to say things like that to promote even the chance that there will be a movie. He started all the Arrested Development movie talk in the last episode of the show in February 2006 — five-and-a-half freakin’ years ago. It was all in good fun then, until more and more people started asking if the movie would ever happen.

After a couple years, the questions extended to the actors. Jason Bateman is trying to promote a big-time action-adventure movie like Hancock that could change his career and went on to make $625 million, but he still had to deal with AD movie questions. But at least he actually had that success. Poor Will Arnett could have his second show cancellation in as many years with Up All Night, but all anyone wants to ask him about is the AD movie.

And forget about Michael Cera. He’s tried to promote movie after movie, has frontlined one of the funniest comedies of the last five years in Superbad, and yet he spends most of his life dodging AD movie questions.

So why, why, why, why, when fans have finally taken the preferred “believe it when I see it” stance and stopped asking the principles about it, would Hurwitz go out and not just re-re-re-re-re-re-confirm the movie, but then gets hardcore fans sexually excited by saying not only will there be a movie, but also about 10 new episodes that will lead into the movie?

if the movie never happens, will arnett should be forced to ride around on a seque for the rest of his life

if the movie never happens, will arnett should be forced to ride around on a seque for the rest of his life

It’s pretty close to the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. First, he has no credibility since he’s been saying for five-plus years there would be a movie, and there’s no movie. Then he’s throwing his actors and everyone involved under the bus because they can’t do an interview with Tiger Beat without being asked about the AD movie. Michael Cera probably let out the loudest “MOTHER TRUCKER!!!!” ever when he heard Hurwitz say that.It would be easy to just blame Hurwitz. He’s the one who’s kept the talk of the AD movie alive. But then stupid Arnett and stupid Bateman have to go ahead and Tweet this garbage and get people even more excited, which leads to even more disappointment. Those two are fair game now — I no longer have sympathy for them when they have to answer questions about AD.

Before everyone starts pre-ordering the new DVD set on Amazon, remember two things:

–There’s a reason the funniest show on TV was canceled. It’s because no one watched it. At least Family Guy built an audience on cable in reruns. Arrested Development seemingly bombed in reruns since it was pulled of HDNet and has bounced all over the IFC schedule. So what network would want to pick this up now? Maybe — maybe— IFC would, but there’s no way they could afford it. Michael Cera at this point probably gets $2 million for every movie he makes. The entire budget of a 10-episode run on IFC would probably be about $2 million. The actors would get bupkis.

love the stand-up, i just don't think hollywood executives do

love the stand-up, i just don't think hollywood executives do

–To shoot a TV series, they’d have to be able to get everyone on the same network. Right now, Arnett is on NBC (Up All Night), Jessica Walter is on FX (Archer), David Cross has managed to speak ill of just about every TV executive in his stand-up act, Portia de Rossi may still be under contract at ABC after Better Off Ted … there’s a lot to work out. And who knows? Maybe it’s taken this long because they’ve already got all that crap ironed out. But I’m guessing no. This sounds like an unfunded government mandate, when the feds or state make laws and rules that local governments have to comply with, but don’t have the money to enforce.

For the fans, I feel for you. I’d be first in line for an AD movie, and would program the show into my DVR the second I found out it is a go. But it’s not a go. No one has bought the rights. No one is planning on airing a TV show. No one is shooting a movie. No one has said there is even a spec script that can be shopped around.

That makes this the same as any other post-AD day, no different.

And that sucks. Because it would be fun to see things like this again:

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