Your Weekend Fun Guide and Jesse Pinkman as the New John McClane?

Local Friday is here:

just don't bring deb.

Back to back film festivals for the next two weekends. Starts this weekend with the Black Bear Film Festival in Milford, a nice little festival that admittedly, I don’t know any of the movies that are coming. However, there is a movie East Fifth Bliss where there will be a Q&A with the filmmakers after the showing tomorrow at 6 p.m. at the Milford Theater. The star of the movie is Michael C. Hall, and if he’d show up, I’d show up, just so I can ask the question, “Should I seek help because I’m pretty sure I have a lot of the same thoughts as Dexter?” and see how much he freaks out. Philip Seymour Hoffman showed up last year, so why can’t Dexter show up this year? The second film festival is the Pocono Mountains Film Festival next weekend that I can’t really talk about. If you’re looking for the deets, just head on over to the website. And maybe there you’ll find why I can’t really talk about it. Well, you’ll definitely find out if you look hard enough on the website.

This is pretty cool. The East Stroudsburg Art Association is holding a Zombie Walk around campus Sunday night at 7:30 p.m., likely to scare the shat out of people wandering back to campus after a long day of watching football at Rudy’s. For $5, the art association will provide the makeup and skills to zombify (is that a word?), and the proceeds go to Habitat for Humanity. You should up to get zombified (past tense of the non-word) around 5 p.m. at The Union, then the zombies take to the streets at 7:30. The best part? Well, other than the scaring people thing. The best part is all the zombies will show their faces back at Lenape Lounge at 9 p.m. for the 90-minute Walking Dead premiere. Is it bad that I’m almost pissed that Walking Dead is back because it means no more Breaking Bad right when it was getting really, really, really good? Yeah, that’s probably not fair. What is fair is to wonder how the show is going to come back this year and be as engrossing as the pilot was. The show got boring in the middle with just six episodes. How are thery going to make a whole 13-episode season interesting? I’m in for the ride regardless.

the chances you're hearing remedy are probably pretty slim

The Chris Robinson Brotherhood, which I can’t say without thinking of X-Men, pulls into the Sherman Theater on Sunday. If you’re wondering what he’s going to be playing, you’re in luck! The Sherman posted Robinson’s description on the Facebook invite: “We’ll be playing a bunch of new songs I have been working on and will be digging deep into what is happening at that musical moment. There will be old stuff that I’ve done and a handful of covers that just feel right.” OK, that’s not very specific at all. Let me pull out my Hippie-to-English translation book: “We have a new album out we gotta sell to make sure we have weed money, so you’ll be hearing a lot of those songs. It will probably be the entire album. I’ll play Hard to Handle for the encore, and not a second before. That’s probably not enough material, so we’ll just cover a Grateful Dead song so we can have a 20 minute guitar solo. See you there.”

Sucks that I was a little too young to get into the whole sex-romp thing in the early 80s with Porky’s and all its imitators. I’ve still never seen Porky’s the whole way through. Was there a better film era to live through as a teenager? OK, actually, I’ll take the independent film uprising of the late 80s and early 90s. It stands to reason then if I was too young to get into the sex-romp genre, then I didn’t get into the sex-romp-slasher genre either. But if you did, and you think it’s fun to talk about — and really, when are movies not fun to talk about? — then you can head over to the Cheeky Monkey Coffee House at 7 p.m. tonight next to the Sherman to watch Student Bodies. Obviously, I’ve never seen it. But Paul over at the Forwardian Arts Society claims it to be the best spoof of the genre, so there you have it.

And some stray links to get to:

hey, yo, yippe kay ay, melon farmer!

There is probably one good reason to keep the Die Hard franchise going — and that’s to get Aaron Paul to take over the franchise when Bruce Willis finally decides he can’t do it anymore. Which should have been around 1998, but who’s counting? I’ve been wondering for a while how Paul hasn’t gotten more parts. He won the Emmy for playing Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad, but the only non-BB thing I’ve seen him on was the Office spoof on the Emmys. His agent is asleep at the wheel, or he’s being really picky about his first major non-BB part.

Wanna know an easy way to pick the best show runners of scripted TV? Go look at the ratings and pick out the top 25 shows. Then go to critics lists and pick out the best 20 shows that aren’t also the top-rated shows. Then do a Google trends search for buzzy TV shows and pick five that aren’t on either of the aforementioned lists. Easy, right? Apparently that’s what The Hollywood Reporter did. Good luck finding a decent show whose top boss isn’t on there. Not saying it’s lazy journalism, because it looks like there was a lot of work that went into it. It’s just not telling me anything I didn’t know already and there are only, like, 20 people who aren’t on the list. If I did a list of the 20 greatest first basemen in baseball right now, wouldn’t it be pretty boring since there are only 30 of them?  

There will come a day when women have done everything, and we won’t have to read stories about how a woman is the first to do even the most menial of tasks. We’re not there yet, because all we’re hearing now is how Patty Jenkins is the first woman director to be handed a blockbuster comic book movie franchise installment, as she takes over Thor 2 for Kenneth Brannaugh. If any of the stories went into any kind of detail about why it matters that she’s a woman directing one of those movies, that’s one thing. But just to say she’s the first doesn’t make any sense. That’s just copying a Marvel press release and sending it out. Let’s do some research and find out why anyone should give a crap that a woman is directing a comic book movie. As long as she doesn’t figure out some weird way to get Don’t Stop Believin’ into the movie, it’s fine by me.

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