Let In Living Color Show You Somethin’

Happy Halloween everyone! I’m not necessarily a Halloween person, the last time I dressed up was 2006. But I hope everyone has a blast tonight, and that everyone who doesn’t have power gets it back soon.

This is your last chance to to try and win passes to the invite-only VIP grand opening of the Cinemark Stroud Mall on Thursday. I’ll be drawing five winners at 2 p.m. this afternoon. We have about 100 entries.

local flavor

Forgot to post this all last week. Even though it goes against everything this blog stands for, it’s a clip from a crappy E! reality show, Dirty Soap. Even Pocono Pines native Kelly Monaco couldn’t get me interested in mentioning it previously. But when she hits the town — such as it is in Pocono Pines — and ends up at the Jubilee, then I’m inclined to post it. This kinda makes me angry though, it was obviously set up for her to have a confrontation with her ex. Let’s face it — this is a small area. It gets even smaller when you portion it off, so the people on the mountain know the other people on the mountain. All it would have taken was a quick call ahead to say, “Is so-and-so there?” or have your friend go early to see if so-and-so is there. If they are? Then go down the road a mile to the Icehouse. It’s not rocket science. But the cameras got what they wanted, a non-remourseful, semi-catatonic ex just letting Monaco haul off on him, and him just sitting there with an “Is this over yet?” look on his face. Thankfully for all of us, yes, it was over. But hey, Jubilee on TV!

predictably saw a lot of amy winehouse costumes this weekend

Not that this should surprise anyone, anywhere, but yes, there is a new Amy Winehouse album coming in December. If she died in 1960, Back to Black would have stood up forever as her one and only album, a masterpiece of songwriting, emotion, voice and overall talent. Kind of like James Dean only making three movies and getting nominated for two Oscars. Now? We might see three more albums from her Tupac-style, each one crappier than the next, and watch her father counting the money for doing nothing other than fertilizing an egg and famously telling her she doesn’t need rehab. It’s pretty sad.

I’ve seen one movie in the theater since February — Moneyball. I’ve got a long list of movies I want to make sure I see this holiday season. Wanna know what the next movie I’m going to see in the theater is? Puss in Boots. Thank you very much, I will have another drink of that parenthood thing! Rum Diary bombed, but why is that surprising? The movie itself is nothing like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. We know that. But Fear and Loathing is a trippy Johnny Depp playing Hunter S. Thompson, so it’s the best comparison there is. That movie bombed on an $18 million budget. So why would anyone give this movie $50 million? When I saw it was getting a wide release, I thought it was a misprint. I kept thinking it was supposed to be limited, maybe make it to the PCT by the end of the month or something. Nope. This puppy was wide and predictably only made $5 million. On the bright side, this will probably end any and all Johnny Depp Oscar talk.

still know all the words.

In Living Color seemed like the funniest thing ever in 1990. No, really, it did! Remember? You went in to school or work the next day talking about how Homey the Clown was hysterical or you were chanting “Mo money, mo money, mo money.” When you watch it now? Not so much. It is shockingly dated in reruns. Very few of them even watchable, a combination of the show itself and the horrible overreactions from the live audience. It gave us further sketch comedy proof that the worst thing you can do is run your recurring characters into the ground. Which it did. Profusely. Men on Film seemed to be around on a weekly basis, Homey the Clown ended up doing corporate gigs by the end and Fire Marshall Bill seemed to show up at every grease fire on the planet. But because it’s so ridiculously dated, and because those characters were so loved in the first place and missed now, the planned two-show revival actually sounds like a fantastic idea. It’s coming back for two special episodes in the spring. I’m gonna go ahead and say Jim Carrey won’t be announced as one of the people who will be returning, but will then make an “unannounced and surprise appearance” even though like the last 10 years of Carrey’s career, it won’t be very funny. Though I really liked him last year in I Love You, Phillip Morris.

Gotta do some kind of Halloween thing, so what about the latest best villains list? Some deserving uncommon (Kevin Spacey in Seven) or new ones (Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds) on there, but we’re still missing some of the big ones. It’s just the same stupid list every time someone puts out a list like this. Vader, Lector, blah blah blah. Here are five that are always left off lists like this that need to be included:

the original horrible boss

Spacey in Swimming with Sharks: Villains can also be complete jerkoffs who make their living degrading other people, you know. They don’t have to kill everyone.

Ving Rhames in Pulp Fiction: Poor Tony Rocky Horror! Gets thrown out of a window for what appeared to be a misunderstanding! Oh, and you know another good villain trait? Getting really, really, really angry when a guy you were trying to screw over actually screws you over.

David Spade in PCU: It’s basically Spade doing his Entertainment Minute character for an hour-and-a-half, only if his Entertainment Minute character was one small step away from a white supremacist.

Dr. Jerome Hathaway, Real Genius: Oh, wait, this guy would thwart the potential career of his brightest student! At least he had some major motivation. The government was about to make his life a living hell if he didn’t deliver the product they were paying for. But still, did he really need to throw the smartest college kid in the country out of school? How would that go over at the next provost meeting? “Sorry, dean, but I had to kick Chris Knight out. Why? Well, to tell you the truth, the government is funnelling me millions of dollars under the table to build them a space laser to kill people, and Knight ishn’t taking it seriously enough. Why, is that a problem?”

Jeffrey Jones in Ferris Bueller: I didn’t like my high school principal because he yelled at my class when we went a little overboard at a basketball game. This principal actually took time out of his day to make Ferris Bueller’s like hell. That’s a scary principal!

Tyler Durdin, Fight Club: Oh, really? It’s not totally creepy when you accidentally make up a villain in your head? Yeah it is!

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