The Family Movie Smackdown

Let’s hit the links:

lemme guess -- he's moving to the rain forest now

Happy Feet 2 might be the luckiest movie of the year. The movie bombed like silly, but no one even noticed because of Twilight’s major haul. So instead of having to answer questions like, “How many times can you make a kids movie disguised as environmental propaganda?” Warner Brothers gets to just chug along and say things like, “Business will pick up over the holiday weekend.” But that’s just not true because Wednesday comes what seems like the biggest onslaught of kids movies in years. The Muppets, Arthur Christmas and Hugo all come out Wednesday and all will be competing for the family dollar. So Happy Feet 2 is kinda screwed, and actually, so are all those other family movies. The really weird thing is that none of those movies blinked on their release dates. Of the four, only Arthur Christmas is an actual holiday movie — any of the other three could have moved and no one would have noticed. Now they’re going to end up cancelling each other out and hurting their bottom line.

When Springsteen hits the road, there’s always a danger it will be his last time out there. He’s getting up there. The death of Clarence Clemons threatened to end the run, but looks like Bruuuuuuuuuuce has at least one more in him. But how are the concerts gonna look with Big Man, other than lilly white? Will they even bother doing Jungleland with someone else on the sax? How will they handle the direct reference in Tenth Avenue Freeze Out? That’s a song every Springsteen fan goes into an E Street Band concert expecting — nay, needing — to hear. It’s par for the course for bands to go back out on the road without a famous member, but something about Springsteen going out without Big Man seems just plain weird. But hey, the Stones go back out on the road all the time and they look like they were embalmed 20 years ago, so whatever.

i think i'm kinda over christa miller. sigh.

Cougar Town isn’t my favorite show, it wouldn’t even crack my top 25 or 30. It’s more like background noise, I’m usually cleaning up dinner or something when it’s on. There are laughs, yeah, but it would be a far, distant third when I rank my favorite Bill Lawrence shows behind Spin City and Scrubs. So I’m not gonna raise the same hell like when I found out that Community isn’t on NBC’s midseason schedule now that Cougar Town isn’t on the midseason ABC schedule. They’re two completely different situations. What is weird is that when it does come back, it’s coming back at 8:30. Cougar Town is the prototypical 9:30 adult show, ones moms and dads want to watch when the kiddies are in bed. Loose talk about sex and drinking is fine by me, but when you put it on at 8:30, you’re forcing parents to decide whether they can watch it in front of their kids or not. Then again, just DVR it and everything will be cool.

the bluths are back -- but does that include franklin?

A couple years ago I dropped Netflix because it took too long to get the movies and Blockbuster had a much better plan for cheaper. I still have Blockbuster’s service, but since I dropped Netflix, Blockbuster has changed the terms of its plan (no more free movies for returning a by-mail movie at a store), raised their prices and I’m getting a wi-fi Blu-ray player for Christmas that has Netflix streaming. Now comes the news that Netflix will be streaming new Arrested Development episodes in 2013, so I’m sold. I’ll be headed back to Netflix at some point. This is still contingent the new Arrested Development episodes actually happening — I believe exactly zero percent of news I hear about new anything of the show — but it’s fun to dream, right?

Diablo Cody says she didn’t throw any of the cutsey-teen dialogue stuff she’s patented over the last couple years into The Evil Dead remake she did some script doctoring on, but I’ll believe it when I see it. Actually, never mind. She can’t possibly do that. Can she? Nah, she can’t. But wait, maybe … right? Nah, forget it. It’s just not possible. Since Bruce Campbell is involved with the production, I really doubt he’d let anyone write a line for Ash that included something in the area of “honest to blog.”

There has to be someone out there that can tell me the meaning behind the American Music Awards. Anyone? Please? Singers barely care about Grammys anymore and you want me to think they care about an American Music Award? But for that one person that does care, there were winners last night. I think. Yup, I just checked, there were.

Hey, look everyone! Joss Whedon is talking about Avengers! Joss Whedon is talking about Avengers! That might be all I write for the next six months concerning any time Whedon gives an Avengers interview. So you may be reading that approximately 659 more times. You’re welcome.

Wait, that wouldn’t be fair to next summer’s other media whore, Dark Knight Rises. So here you go, Batman people. Don’t say I never gave you anything. This Bane cat looks pretty creepy.

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