The Most Beautiful Movie in the Room

Quick links today. Planned to do a TV-season-so-far thing but got sick yesterday and couldn’t watch Walking Dead or Once Upon a Time, so we’ll put that off til Wednesday or Thursday:

beaker was always my boy

The Muppets live! Despite some early bad publicity from the old-timers, The Muppets proved profitable, already making back its $40 million budget and positioning itself to have a big month around the theaters. The battle of family films really wasn’t much of a battle at all. The Muppets easily took the title, beating out Arthur Christmas, Hugo and Happy Feet 2 — which continues to fall far off expectations and tracking from the first installment.

Is there anything worse than pretentiousness from a movie director? I like Guillermo del Toro a lot, I really do. But his list of essential movies reads like a Pretentious Director Top 10, and he even takes pretentiousness to a new level by including 21 movies because he seemingly couldn’t insult his favorite directors. There is no one who is more of a movie snob than me, but “I’m smarter than you” lists drive me bonkers. When I try to tell you about a movie or TV show that needs attention, it’s usually because I want to see it succeed and be embraced by the mainstream. When del Toro does this list, I feel like he’s sitting in a smoking jacket with a pipe and using a British accent.

Get ready to add another TV show to the list of canceled/ended/dead shows kicking around the idea of continuing the story with a movie. This one’s different though. A Flight of the Conchords movie seems like it has the best chance of happening since it would be the easiest to make, wouldn’t have to make a lot of money, could be released independently (IFC Films, which could then pick up the TV show repeats maybe?) and could pretty easily get the principles together. I’m thinking this may be my Sunday column, assessing the chances of what TV shows could make it to the big screen. And because it should make you smile on a pretty blah Monday:

You’ve always wanted to buy Dunder Mifflin paper. Admit it. Now you can have the chance since NBC is going to market paper from Dunder Mifflin. For reals, yo. Isn’t this about five years too late? You know, like when people loved The Office? When they traveled from across the country to attend an Office convention in Scranton? When the show wasn’t two years from ending? And of all the times to start it, NBC decides to wait until the show’s biggest star exits, and then it decides to jump on this idea? Poor, poor planning. It reeks of a revenue generator that started only when the show wasn’t making as much money as it had in the past, and NBC needed to make up the difference somehow. Nice forward thinking, guys. Add to it that the show makes a near-weekly mention about how the paper industry will be out of business in 10 years, and it’s comical how bad an idea this is. Stick to the show, guys.

i'm not quite clear yet. is this the last time christian bale will play batman?

For the 546th time — Christian Bale is done playing Batman. D-O-N-E. He’s told this information to anyone who will listen for the last two years, changing any topic of conversation into “No more Batman for me.” “Mr. Bale, would you like ketchup with your fries?” “Sure, and I’m done playing Batman, in case you were wondering.” “Congratulations Mr. Bale, it’s a boy!” “Thanks! And I’m done playing Batman. Just thought you might want to know that as you deliver my firstborn.” Yet every single time he brings it up, it makes headlines. Again. But even though it’s technically bad headlines, they’re the type of story PR flaks LOVE because it gets pasted around the world, there’s no new information in it and it gets the word out yet again. Not that Dark Knight Rises needs any extra push (coming out July 2012!). Just so everyone knows, he said this kind of off-the-cuff without studio verification, so there are two more stories to go along with this later this week. First will be the studio confirming he’s not signed for another Batman movie but saying they hope to have him aboard, and the next will come around Friday when they confirm he won’t be part of the fourth movie. So don’t think that just because Bale is saying this for the thousandth time that it’s old news just yet.

Shame on anyone who does a “smartest detectives” list without include Lt. Frank Pembleton from Homicide. Sorry, AOL TV, I won’t be going to your site anymore, and it won’t be in protest. It will be because I don’t think you’re very knowledgeable. Actually, I’m not sorry, I take that back. Maybe some Frank time in The Box will make you realize what a grave mistake you’ve made.

Pleeeeeeeeease tell me this is coming to America. Or at least Jersey. I wanna get Jason Mewes to do the song from the start of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Yoinks, yoinks, one, two, three.

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