Oh, Those Golden Globes, Oh, Those Golden Globes …

Happy Golden Globes Nominations Day everyone!

What, I’m the only one that celebrates it? Anyway, Golden Globe nominees are out now, signaling the official beginning of Awards Season. Everything up until this point has been Memorial Day. It’s hot, we have it off, but it’s not really summer. Golden Globes Nominations Day is like June 21 — the official start of summer when the Oscar race really gets going.

And yeah, as you might be able to tell from the title, every time I hear “Golden Globes,” this is actually what I’m thinking:

Plus, we get the added bonus of TV nominations, which is nice. A quick examination of what the awards means in the winners/losers gimmick that I love:

WINNERS

how many auditions has aaron paul lost to this guy?

RYAN GOSLING: The last few weeks, it seemed like his movie Drive that was starting to pick up Oscar heat. Maybe it wasn’t the movie, maybe it was just him. Gosling scored two nominations by himself and lifted the cold-as-ice political drama Ides of March to a best picture nomination, setting up what could be a Kevin Spacey-like tributary Oscar for everything he’s done this year.

GEORGE CLOONEY: Maybe it was Gosling that elevated Ides of March in the Golden Globes voters, but more than likely it was Globe darling Clooney. He nailed his sixth, seventh and eighth career movie nominations for his directing and writing efforts on Ides and his performance in The Descendants. Seeing as he’s also a producer on Ides, he’d get to come on stage if it wins best picture.

IDES OF MARCH: It had become an afterthought, but now it’s back in the best picture race.

THE ARTIST: Not like this is surprising, it was a lock to get the most Globe nominations. But the movie has made the shift since its late November release from underrated to over-exposed in a heartbeat. And that’s before it even gets a wide release date. So to get the most nominations gives it the push it needs to get, at the very least, the Oscar nomination trifecta of best picture/best actor/best director.

back in the game. get it, game? cuz they play baseball. and that's a game.

MONEYBALL: Of all the Oscar contenders, the producers of this movie were probably cool just punting away the Globes since baseball movies rarely play well overseas. Globe voters looked at it the way many of us did, that this was a movie about American business, not baseball, and gave it nominations for best picture, best actor (Brad Pitt) and best screenplay. All well deserved.

2011 TV PREMIERES: The Globes for some reason have always favored new shows. It was pretty obvious before the nominations were announced that four new shows were right up the Golden Globes alley — American Horror Story, Game of Thrones, New Girl and Homeland. They racked up nine nominations between them, and the Starz political drama Boss got two more. Enlightened and Episodes made their way into the fray … there were a lot. Either that means past Globe favorites like Glee, 30 Rock, The Office and Dexter have gotten stale, or the Globe voters just thought they were already off the air. We should probably assume the first option.

CABLE TV: You know what almost all of those new shows have in common? You can’t get them over the air. Cable TV has become a dominant force in quality television, we all knew that. But the Globe nominations reflect a move past domination to complete control. A total of 55 nominations were handed out — and a scant 12 (about 22 percent) went to the Big Four networks. Three of them were reserved for Modern Family. If the Golden Globes are any indication, network TV is in danger of being phased out. That’s of course not the case, but it should make ABC, Fox and CBS suits take notice. And NBS came another step closer to being completely irrelevant by getting two nominations, one of whom (Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock) won’t be with the network next year.

LOSERS

hey toolbox, isn't henri trying to steal your girlfriend somewhere or something?

WOODY HARRELSON: Let’s go all Dean Wormer on him: “High, self-congratulatory and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” The Globes, Grammys, Oscars and Emmys have all been broadcasting their nominations live on TV for at least a decade now. In that time, no one has been pompous and disrespectful enough to plug their own movie/show/song when it wasn’t nominated — until Thursday. That’s when Harrelson announced his new movie Rampart as a best picture nominee even though it wasn’t. Ha ha, funny funny. Just talk about Hanover and head back to Hawaii, Wood Man.

NETWORK TV: Forget about the best drama series for a second, a category that is routinely dominated by the cable channels. The Golden Globes took it a step further by nominating little-seen shows like Enlightened and Episodes in the comedy category, Jeremy Irons in the heat-less Borgias and in the weirdest nomination of all, Callie Thorne in Necessary Roughness. Not sure how or why that happened, but somehow it did. Look, I’m a Callie Thorne fan back from her Homicide days. But her performance in Necessary Roughness is pretty bland and looks like every other female lead performance on every other USA show. Why single her out? In the process, it left out Connie Britton for Friday Night Lights, stalwart Mariska Hargitay on Law and Order: SVU and … wait, there aren’t anymore good female lead roles on network TV, are there? The Golden Globes didn’t screw network TV, network TV screwed itself.

i did this to my face for nothing!!!

AMC: Not all went well on the cable side, and no one took a harder hit than AMC. Breaking Bad only got Bryan Cranston his reserved spot at the best actor nomination table, but missed out on best drama and twice for best supporting actor. This wasn’t Aaron Paul’s best season, so his snub is understandable. But to keep Giancarlo Esposito out of the mix is just insane and doesn’t bode well for Emmy time next year. Walking Dead got no nominations after getting a best drama nomination last year and The Killing managed only a nomination for lead actress Mireille Enos. That would all be bad enough, but its signature show (Mad Men) wasn’t even on TV in 2011 so it couldn’t get a nomination.

TREE OF LIFE: If any movie needed to make a splash at the Golden Globes, it was this one. The Globe voters have always been a tad snooty, so if Tree of Life was to get any Oscar heat, this would be the place to pick it up. But it walked away shut out, which is probably how things are going to go when Oscar nominations come out.

STEVEN SPIELBERG: It seemed like a given he would get his 10th directing nomination. Hey, if the Globe voters gave him a nomination in a loaded 2002 awards season for the debateably crappy A.I., surely they would give him a nomination for his epic War Horse, right? Umm, no. They didn’t. Not a good sign for Oscar season. At least he got The Adventures of Tintin nominated in best animated film, but that’s kinda like going to your high school reunion and getting the award for most facial hair or something. Not exactly what you’re looking for.

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