RIP Don Cornelius, Super Bowl Movie Trailers, Ferris Bueller Explains Himself and More

Looking to compile as many Pocono Super Bowl bar party specials as humanly possible for Friday’s blog, but I’m not going to be looking up every single bar’s Facebook/web pages. So if you’re a bar and you have something going, or you just want to let me know about what your favorite bar is doing in the way of drink specials/food deals/giveaways, email me or send me a Facebook invite and I’ll make sure to get it in.

Speaking of the Super Bowl, this year looks like it’s going to be pretty boring when it comes to premiering movie trailers. Only three of the six major studios have bought up commercial time, and Sony, Fox and Warner Brothers are the ones that didn’t. That means no new trailers for Spider-Man, Dark Knight Rises or Prometheus. We will be seeing new trailers for Avengers for sure since Disney already has put out a sneak peek trailer for the trailer, which is mind-bogglingly crazy. Not the trailer itself, but the fact that the Internet nearly breaks down because people are watching a trailer for a trailer. Of course I thought that after I watched it. Twice.

peace, love and soul to you, don.

Who knew so many white people watched Soul Train? I thought I was the only one! The PopRox Facebook page was loaded with Don Cornelius tributes this morning. Here’s a history lesson for you kids — the rest of us over 30 only had about six or seven channels growing up in the early 80s. We were at the mercy of our local stations. Even if you had cable, you didn’t get more than 15 or 20 channels. If you wanted to watch TV on a Sunday morning, you were faced with the choice of a Family Feud rerun, the news, roller derby, Meet the Press or the Soul Train/Solid Gold combo pack. I was always more interested in Solid Gold because I was a FREAK about weekly countdowns, but I always watched Soul Train too. And one of the reasons Don Cornelius — though not for the most honorable of reasons. Even as a 7-year-old, I always though the “love, peace and soul” thing he did at the end of every show was the funniest thing ever.

Two weeks to my birthday, and if anyone is thinking about a gift, this is what I want.

when i see some kid sitting down to read a comic book, i'm out

I don’t hold the Watchmen graphic novel in as high regard as the die-hard fans. As cool as it is — and it is cool — it was also over-written and too quickly thrown together at the end to have a competent, acceptable ending. For my tastes, at least. But I’m pretty jazzed for a series of Watchmen prequels that DC will publish this summer. I probably won’t go in for all of them, especially if they do that stupid story-within-a-story thing again that they mercifully killed for the movie. And I probably won’t go in for all the volumes, either, since there will be seven volumes, one for each character. Rorschach, Dr. Manhattan and Comedian are all definites, Silk Spectre, Nite Owl and Ozymandias are probables and I’m not sure if I’d go for a Minutemen book. Didn’t we see all we needed to see about The Minutemen? Comedian isn’t nice, gets kicked out, the end. Right?

There exists a little-known Broderick-to-English translation book, and I happen to have it. So the translation from his explanation of the Ferris Bueller Super Bowl commercial goes like this: “Ferris Bueller, money money money money, Todd Phillips, money money money money money money, fun, money money, new house, money, money and oh yeah, money. Did I mention the money?”

wise move, hoboken. wise move.

Who says Jersey isn’t smart? Hoboken, one of the last bastions of cultural relevance in our neighbor to the east, has told a Jersey Shore spinoff to stick it — and the city was smart to do it. Hoboken is a great town. It’s all twenty somethings who can’t afford to live in the city, so they all live for cheaper rent across the Hudson. And since the buildings are newer, they have more room for cheaper rent. They comfortably pack into those apartments with like five other friends, which gives them extra money because the rent is split more ways. All that extra money gets spent on Friday and Saturday nights at the bars. All. Of. It. Hoboken is no place for an alcoholic. Anyone who saw that trend coming and opened a bar on Washington Street in like 1995 is a very, very rich man right now. Even though the rent in Hoboken is cheaper, the town’s bars still get away with charging city prices for booze. It’s a party town, but it still has a good name, so turning down a Jersey Shore spinoff was a no-brainer. Seaside Heights had nothing to lose since I know Jersey people that called it Scumside Heights long before Jersey Shore came around.

Good news for some cable shows. Showtime renewed some of its biggest shows (Californication, Shameless and House of Lies), while HBO countered by renewing Luck for a second season even though the ratings weren’t what they were looking for. The biggest news comes for Sons of Anarchy fans. The show already was signed for a fifth season, and FX said yesterday it signed up creator Kurt Sutter for another two seasons after that, guaranteeing at least three more seasons of the biker mafia show. Let’s hope we get more of season 4 (the gang tries to elude the law) and less of season 3 (Ireland junk) over those additional three seasons.

names. contracts. signed. until you can come back with that, leave us alone.

You know that scene in The American President where Michael J. Fox goes off on Michael Douglas? Fox says something very movie-ish about drinking sand then Douglas comes back with something even more movie-ish that people drink sand because they don’t know the difference? Then the big thunder crash comes down just in case you nodded off with all these people talking about drinking sand, and just so you know something important just happened. Well, at the risk of boring everyone, that’s what news about the future of Arrested Development has become. Sand. People drink in the AD news because they think it’s an oasis of something actually happening with the production, but it’s actually just more freakin’ sand. The writers having parking spaces and office space? That is dry, stupid, silly sand if I’ve ever tasted it. But if it gets you to sleep easier at night to think there might actually be a drop of water in there somewhere, knock yourself out and do the Nestea Plunge into it. Geez, Nestea Plunge? I’m am soooooo 36.

Yeesh, looks like it’s abandon ship at The Office with Mindy Kaling now a possible departure. But let’s take this for what it is — pilot season. Lots of shows get produced in pilot season, but don’t get picked up. Kaling’s show is just one of them with a pilot, that doesn’t guarantee it will get picked up and leave poor Ryan without his soul mate. And Dwight’s spinoff doesn’t even have a pilot yet, it’s still in production talks — the same place it’s been for the last four years. So before anyone just writes off The Office as doomed, remember this is what happens in pilot season and we all have a couple more months left before we know what pilots are getting picked up. For some reason, I almost look forward to an Office with just Phyllis, Stanley and Meredith hanging around because everyone else has left and not been replaced by corporate.

Consider yourself lucky that you most likely have never sat in on a press conference of any kind. They’re boring, almost every single one of them. Postgame coaches’ press conferences are the worst. I dealt with sitting through Ted Marchibroda’s postgamers for a year, and that almost chased me from the business because they were soooooooo boring. Shake things up, guys! Case in point — the Muppets having a press conference in advance of the British opening of the movie. And instead of turning it into a joke — which it easily could have been — it was actually serious. The press played along, which is always the key. Normally someone like me would be sitting in the back of the room crawling frantically around on the floor feeling around for the bullets that fell out of my gun so I could end the pain. But these guys were all good sports, and were about to get something very usable out of it. Wish this happened more. It would make my job more enjoyable.

Glad I just ripped through Party Down on Netflix streaming over the past two weeks (entire series: A-) since it looks like Starz is still going ahead with its plan to dump all of its programming from Netflix streaming by the end of February. I’m also glad I don’t think I care about any other vaulted Starz show. I would like to watch Boss, but it’s not available on Netflix yet and apparently it never will be.

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