Your Super Bowl Weekend Fun Guide

bang bang!

Before we hit the local Super Bowl links, this is the only event I’ve seen in Monroe County in the last six months that immediately made me pull out my phone and text my brother Erik, who moved to Virginia Beach a couple years ago. Most of his texts to me are along the lines of, “just got smashed by a wave, but on the bright side, i just got smashed by a wave” or something like that while I have my grassy feet in a kiddie pool in my backyard. I don’t have the chance to make him jealous that much, but when I told him former/current WWE/ECW star Mick Foley is making what would appear to be a stand-up comedy appearance at Pocono Brewing Company in Swiftwater on Saturday, he got jealous. Sweet. I could care less if it’s a comedy appearance or if he’s playing guitar or if he’s sitting down eating sushi with Mr. Socko on one of his hands. Just hanging in the general vicinity of Foley for an hour or two would be pretty cool. I made a half-hearted effort to line him up for an interview this week, but bombed out. He was busy, I was told, and I had a tad too much on my plate this week to push it. So I never got the chance to ask whether he’s in for the Extreme Reunion, an event I plan on attending.

eff jackie.

The comedy club at PBC is hosted by Howard Stern contributor Rev. Bob Levy, he puts on shows there every weekend. So that means we’ll have dueling Howard Stern universe appearances a couple miles away from each other as Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling will be at Mount Airy Casino Resort’s Gypsies Lounge on Saturday night. I didn’t start listening to Stern until 1998, so I came in at the tail end of Jackie’s career, but I definitely was in the “Eff Jackie” camp and think Artie is what made the show what it was during his time there. Artie’s departure was one of the reasons I was more comfortable giving up my SiriusXM subscription. And I don’t really find Jackie’s stand-up that funny. The casino is offering BOGO tickets, sooooo it doesn’t look like Jackie is exactly selling out.

On to the Super Bowl specials on Sunday, one of the best and yet most frustrating bar nights of the year. Hardcore football fans that go out every fall and winter Sunday afternoon surrounded by actual fans now have to deal with casual/once-a-year fans that ask pertinent questions like, “Have the Giants always wore blue uniforms???”:

next year. again.

The Cinder Inn has come up with a couple new ideas I’ll sign off on. It’s got quarter wings, $2 mugs and all that, but it’s doing a free spaghetti buffet. Not good for carb counting, great since all that spaghetti can soak up the alcohol. The latter is by far more important. Also, here’s something different — 50 cents off a shot if your team scores a touchdown. I have no idea how that would work. But if any self-respecting Eagles fan accepts 50 cents off a shot by lying and saying they’re a Giants fan, then may that person be struck down immediately by lightning.

In that same spirit, Camelback is giving $10 off a lift ticket Sunday to anyone wearing a Giants or Patriots jersey. Hmmm. Trying to think of what kind of special it would take me to get me into a Giants jersey. I thought of a bunch of scenarios, and the slightest one I could come up with is a free 60-inch, flat-screen TV special at Best Buy. Short of that, forget it. I’ve done some things I might not be proud of for a free beer, but I’m not sure I’d be able to live with myself if I threw on a Giants jersey for a discount on something.  The Giants make it worse, but I wouldn’t even put on something as harmless as a Seahawks jersey for any kind discount. Just can’t do it. 

The new Trackside Station Grill and Bar on Crystal Street in East Stroudsburg (yeah, the old Dansbury Depot) is putting out a special edition menu for Sunday, and each item is the name of a player in the game. It’s not like the menu is changing, the stuff on it is just getting new Super Bowl-themed names. My favorite? The Brady Cake Sandwich, even though I don’t eat crab cakes. But I think it’s funny to say “Brady Cake,” it makes me think I can gently pat Tom Brady on the head and say, “Awwwwww,” like I do with a puppy. Good $2 drink specials too.

when i googled super bowl in google images, this is the first thing that came up. hey, don't shoot the messenger!

The first time I ever went out to a bar in the Poconos for Super Bowl was the Pittsburgh-Seattle game in 2006. It was Front Row. I had actually been working, and just wanted to go out to grab a quick beer or two around 9 to watch the end of the game. But the place was packed, and then I found out why — they were giving away free food, and the spread was monstrous. I pigged out. When Barry Lynch took over, I asked him to make sure he kept the free Super Bowl buffet, because it brought people out like crazy. Good to see that he has. Plus wings and my favorite beer offer in the county, $1 drafts all day, every day.

Lots of places with giveaways this weekend, but the PourHouse in Canadensis may have the best one. It’s giving away a flat-screen TV. No idea what size or whether you have to register … but it’s a flat-screen TV. Hopefully you don’t have to wear an Eli Manning jersey to qualify.

Hows come the Blue Tequila in Minisink Hills is the first place I’ve seen offering a taco deal? Tacos are underrated as a football food. They’re easy to make, they’re not very filling and they taste like heaven. Usually. If that’s not your thing, the bar is still doing the wing thing and drink specials.

Pub 570 in Marshalls Creek is doing a fundraiser for Bushkill Ambulance again, and is also having an Italian food buffet for $19.95 with drink specials.

Pub in the Pines in Pocono Pines is doing a $15 buffet, plus wings and beer specials. Skiing doesn’t always go with football (does it?) but this is probably the place skiers would want to go to watch the game. The bar is giving out raffle prizes including a snowboard and lift tickets. Not sure where to, but free lift tickets are free lift tickets.

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