Sequels, Remakes and Books. Yeah, That’s Right. Books.

We’re low on local party links for the weekend. It’s Easter, whaddya expect? Although just so you’re aware, Warped Tour tickets for Montage go on sale today.

So let’s just hit the links, there’s plenty there:

awww, isn't that sweet. two movie studios playing nicely in the sandbox.

How big is Hunger Games? X-Men is arranging its schedule around it. That big. Pretty weird since X-Men was the hottest Hollywood property a decade ago and no one would have known Hunger Games if it fell out of the sky, landed on your face and started to wiggle. The X-Men sequel is going to shoot in January to make sure it doesn’t conflict with the late summer shooting schedule for the Hunger Games sequel so that Jennifer Lawrence (Mystique and Katniss) can appear in both. X-Men was apparently supposed to shoot in the fall, but decided to put it off for Lawrence to finish up Hunger Games — which apparently, it didn’t have to do contractually. Isn’t it nice to hear about two Hollywood studios actually playing nice? It’s a Good Friday miracle!

new helmet, please. reminds me of the one sam beckett wore on the quantum leap future boy episode. and yes, i understand no one has a clue of what i'm talking about.

I have no idea when I said this, but I knew a while ago that Marvel would have to start looking past the summer to release its movies. There just wasn’t enough room, and if it wanted to give its characters good play at the theaters, then it was going to have to spread things out a bit. Thor 2 started that trend, moving to a November 2013 date. Now Captain America 2 is headed to April 4, 2014 — a scant two years from now despite not having a script or a director. All we do know is that it will pick up where Avengers leaves off and will take place in the present day. Well, duh. Thanks for the info on that one. It seems like much of Avengers might be dedicated to Cap dealing with living in the future, so hopefully the sequel to the movie that wasn’t terribly good in the first place doesn’t waste time with that. Hopefully they’ll get Chris Evans a better, updated costume, because that helmet-thing looks pretty … effeminate.

I can’t remember the last time I read a book cover-to-cover. Seriously, I can’t. Does the Baseball America Prospect Handbook count? Probably not. I’ve meant to read about five in the past two years, all of them dealing with either sports, movies or TV, but never got around to any of them. But I’m marking my calendar for May 1 when Top of the Rock, an oral history about NBC’s 20-year-run of Must See TV, comes out. I will get it, and I will read it. I think. Nothing in the reviews I’ve seen makes it sound interesting, but I love the backroom TV stuff, that will get me through the book no problem.

when you date olivia wilde, you make your own rules. so godspeed, jason sudeikis.

One of those books I wanted to read was the SNL backstage book that came out a couple years ago. The history of the show is fascinating, and one of the things we’ve learned from that history is the show can, does and will survive every cast departure, mass or otherwise. So why does the news that Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis and Andy Samberg could be leaving by the end of the year sound … different? Maybe it’s because I’d be hard-pressed to name another person on the show. OK, that’s not true. I know Kenan Thompson and Bill Hader. Seth Myers on Weekend Update. And I know … crap. Ooo, Fred Armisen is still on right? Yes, he is. I just checked when I ran out of people I could name. But I can’t even picture in my head any of the other people other than Jay Pharoah. So if that power trio leave, should Lorne Michaels just blow the show up (again) and introduce a whole new cast? He’s done it three times before (1980, 1986 and 1995),  and each time the show has come back. Maybe not stronger than it was before, but it’s definitely come back. And since I can’t name anyone else on the show, let’s blow it up. Keep Hader as the veteran presence, Myers as head writer, kick everyone else to the curb and start from square one. SNL has a year grace period to make the cast stick, after that the ratings dwindle and guest hosts don’t wanna come on the show anymore. They can make that happen.

What a crazy week it would have been at NBC if the SNL thing went through and then Matt Lauer left “Today” — but as least NBC has some good news. Lauer is sticking around with what is presumably the only enterprise at NBC that makes any money these days. Oh, and Biggest Loser. So they got that going for them. It could have been downright catastrophic if Lauer said today he wasn’t coming back. The only thing that would have been worse is if the Olympic committee just all of a sudden decided not to have the Olympics this summer.

and so began my torried love affair from afar with courtney thorne-smith

After talking about Real Genius the other day, I forgot that a couple years ago I wanted to start an every-now-and-then feature called The Remake Police that would examine whether a movie or TV should be able to be remade. Well here’s an abbreviated one — Summer School should not be remade. Not by Adam Sandler, at least, because I know right where it’s headed with Sandler at the head of things: with Chainsaw and Dave farting to get Mr. Shoop (Kevin James) out of the class. Whoopeeeeee!!! No movie that holds up well today should be remade, ever. That should be the first rule. If a movie becomes so dated that it’s unwatchable, no matter how sacred it is, then you can remake it. I’d have no problem if someone said they wanted to remake Citizen Kane, Gone with the Wind or Saturday Night Fever, three movies that I can barely watch anymore they’re so dated. But Summer School still has the feel of a good, funny movie. There isn’t a dated reference or a bad performance in it. OK, maybe these days Robin would be immediately reporting Mr. Shoop to the police for letting one of his hot, 15-year-old, female students live with him, but other than that, it’s still a really good, easy, funny watch. And the whole “using his house for a party” thing. That would probably be frowned upon these days. Wait a minute, the whole bribing thing — none of that would fly. So how can you remake this movie without including that vital aspect of the movie? I’m getting angry. We should probably just move on. Please don’t let this movie be remade. Especially since you could never match this song of cheesy 80s goodness:

How did EG Daily never break out as a singer with that and this …

AAAAANNNNNNDDDDDD this!!!

Ohhhhh, the 80s.

Since the fall, there have been five songs I’ve heard that I completely loved the second I heard them — and most of them have been corrupted and ruined already. One by an evil corporationone by Glee and one by Glee and an evil corporation.  Seriously, how am I supposed to think of Young the Giant’s Cough Syrup now without thinking of it as the Karofsky suicide song? The only one that’s safe so far is Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men, because it seems like my fifth song is getting torched by Glee on Tuesday. I shouldn’t feel that bad since it’s already been bitch-slapped with a more radio-friendly techno version of some sort. But Glee pretty much ruins it, which is weird since I’m a Glee fan. Just say away from my songs, Ryan Murphy. It’s not like I have a lot of them.

Remember a couple years ago when networks talked about how they wanted to start premiering scripted TV shows all year, including the summer? That looks as dead as disco. ABC came out with its summer schedule yesterday, which includes nothing but reality shows and Rookie Blue, which it buys from Canadian TV. Fox, too. Maybe it has to do with not wanting to go up against the Olympics, but the Olympics are still only two weeks, right? Aren’t there, like, 12 other weeks between Memorial Day and Labor Day? The calendar hasn’t been changed on me, has it? Oh well. More room for Breaking Bad.

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