Welcome to Avengers Week!
Wait, I’m the only one calling it that? Weird. Anyway, I’ve already had like four straight weeks of Avengers news in every blog, so it’s not like anything is changing, right? Right. You won’t be able to swing a dead cat around the Internet for the next five days without getting some Avengers news. It started … actually it started around St. Patrick’s Day, but it started in earnest Sunday when the opening weekend totals for the worldwide box office hit at $185 million, more than Disney estimated. That’s going to up the domestic box office estimate for this weekend, and we’re now looking at about $160-$165 million, which would put it ahead of Dark Knights opening weekend. The key to going over the $175 million mark is going to be how many people go in for the 3-D version. If they do, it’s going to be ginormous. The Poconos are getting in on the action of celebrating Avengers — all four Monroe County theaters will be having a midnight show. The only one I can see that has tickets available online right now is Cinemark Stroud Mall — but let’s think local here too, people. Pocono Community Theater, Casino Theatre and Poconos Movieplex are also giving it the midnight treatment. If you buy your ticket at PCT by Wednesday, it’s $7.
Maybe I shouldn’t be making fun of Dark Knight Rises for hanging back and letting Avengers take all the headlines anymore. Because during this sacred Avengers week, DKR didn’t think it was so sacred. The movie released its scavenger-hunt-type viral campaign, a release of about 500 specific address around the world where people can go and take pictures of graffiti at the site, then email it or tweet it in to DKR people. And you’ll get … I don’t know, a cookie? You probably don’t get anything, other than the DKR people laughing when they see your entry and say, “Holy nuts, Chris, come over and check this out. This guy just sent in his 57th picture. 57! He went to four different countries to do it! They must have been fumigating his mom’s basement for a week or something. Hope his eyes are OK after seeing the sun for the first time in two years!” And so on. This is probably a good time to mention that I saw the 10 Philly locations on the list and though, “Hmmmm, I’m going down twice over the next five weeks, I could probably bang like eight of those out.” I recognize one of the addresses, it’s Citizens Bank Park. So there’s a bright side to this. You can go to the game tonight and spend two hours scouring the stadium for some DKR graffiti, then you won’t have to watch the game. Zing. Another address is the Philadelphia Art Museum, I think. Somehow, there are no Blakeslee addresses. I’ll keep looking, maybe they’re down there at the bottom.
DKR isn’t the only one stepping on the toes of Avengers. Prometheus just released a three-minute trailer today that goes into very little detail, leaves you nauseous from all the split-second scene jumping and barely introduces you to any characters. So of course, people are going to love it. It’s not terrible, it just seems too long. When you’re making a trailer, you usually stick to a two-minute rule. Anything more, and you’re setting people up to think you’re being given more than a trailer, they’ll think they’re getting a whole scene or something. Let’s be really clear — that is not the case with the Prometheus trailer. Not at all. It’s just a three-minute trailer. Nothing more. My only impression of it is that Charlize Theron is being horribly underused already. Hopefully she gets to throw in an extra tone other than monosyllabic in the whole movie. Can’t think of a scenario to get me in the theater for this, but I’m not an Alien person either.
I am, however, a Sacha Baron Cohen person. That said, I still won’t be in the theater for The Dictator. Just too much to see in May. And by too much, I mean two movies, and I doubt I’ll get to the theater for both Avengers and Moonrise Kingdom. Movie lovers, think about that when you start the “I think we should consider having kids,” discussion. Just sayin’. Anyway, this is a pretty good way to start the Dictator, a really breezy, funny entrance into the character. The positive-negative thing is pretty funny, and the 100m dash thing we’ve been seeing in trailers since last fall is just as funny now as it was the 30 other times we’ve seen it.
It’s not just Avengers Week — it’s the official start of TV finale season. We’ve had a couple so far, but we’re going to get loaded up starting Sunday, I’ll try to keep up with them and post reviews. Actually, it started last night with a decent Good Wife, even if it resolved nothing and kinda made me get annoyed at Michael J. Fox. No one makes me annoyed at Michael J. Fox! Kinda like nobody makes White Goodman bleed his own blood. But somehow, Good Wife managed to. So if that was the point, mission accomplished. I know I’m in the minority of Good Wife fans in not really caring that much about Kalinda, her past or her present. So if you enjoyed her getting all gunned up, then hooey for you. But it pretty much bored the bejesus out of me. And if you’re going to ruin your apartment and potentially leave it without a trace of you being left behind … why do you need to buy a mallet? Even if you live a pretty minimalist home life — and it’s obvious Kalinda did — don’t you have, like, a bag of frozen peas in the freezer you can bang out a hole in the wall with? Just seems like a waste of money to buy a $50 mallet when you’re begging someone for money a day or so later. FINALE GRADE: C+. SEASON GRADE: B.
And when the two-part Fringe season finale starts Friday, there’s good news. It will be a “season” finale, not a “series” finale. Fox announced Friday it will bring Fringe back for one more, truncated 13-episode season, which would bring the episode total to 100 and make it more attractive to syndication. Which I guess is good. Although I told my wife this news and she asked, “Will that season keep me from falling asleep?” She’s fallen asleep watching the last four episodes. I fell asleep for two of them. How did this show get so boring so quickly? I’m going with the fact that we have two different universes, one of which has a different timeline, so we’re being asked to keep up with a ridiculous amount of material. It’s like a whole season of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy or something. My wife asks me questions to try to catch up, basic questions like, “So what timeline are we in?” and I can’t answer. Just imagine my response to questions like, “Didn’t the cortexiphan kid die in the other timeline?” Umm, yeah? Wrong! He just disappeared a while back into the alternate universe, but since it’s now a new timeline, all bets are off. Do … do you see where I’m going with this? It’s a little, umm, complex. Which usually is good, but I don’t know if I’m smart enough to keep up with Fringe anymore. There’s a trailer for season 5 out there already, but I’m not watching it, and I’m not linking to it on the chance it gives away anything from the season finale. You have Google. If you wanna watch it, you know what to do.
You can’t see me, but I’m sniffing around my desk. Something smells familiar … can’t quite put my finger on it … smells like … smells like … oh, I know! It smells like a guarantee that we’ll have a new Celebrity Jeopardy coming up in a couple weeks! I know it’s well played-out by now, but I’d probably make Celebrity Jeopardy my #1 running gag skit on SNL.