Your Poconos Weekend Fun Guide

This is gonna be quick and dirty, but I wanted to make sure we get some local events for the weekend, because there is a lot going on:

yes, yes, you can pull it off. now shut up.

The Lounge is doing a male wet T-shirt contest tonight, but what a crock! Do men seriously have to be paraded around like pieces of meat to get girls? Hey, ladies, look up here, at our eyes, OK? Gaaaawwwwddddd! It’s so exhausting having to deal with girls who only want one thing, you know? Let’s get back to things that really matter in this world. Like, girls in wet T-shirt contests. Let’s see how they like it for once. Little black dress contest? That’s hardly a substitute. But I’ve always been a fan of the little black dress theory for women, so that’s fine by me.

Cinder Inn has a new outdoor deck, and Flyin’ Blind is there tonight. I’m down with the outdoor deck thing these days for one big reason — it means less people are at the indoor bar. I think I’m already over the outdoor deck thing, it was great for a while, but the bug bites are starting to get on my nerves. But I’m glad as a business community that bars have figured out how to let people actually have a smoke with their beer.

Pocono Brewing Company seems to be more committed to having big parties, which is fine by me, I like it there. This week it’s a Glow in the Dark show sponsored by Jägermeister, which is bad news for me. Bad things happen with me and Jägermeister. It’s probably because it doesn’t taste good until the third shot. So you’re just getting warmed up to it, and you’re already feelin’ nice. You would think that would make people shy away from it, but then you always remember, “Tastes great on the third one!” so you always chalk up those first two and then seriously start on the third. What a great business model! anyway, the party starts tonight at 10 with DJ Jess the Mix Goddess, which is probably the cockiest and coolest DJ name around.

hey ... what's down there, brian? something interesting, no doubt.

Brian McKnight is at Mount Airy tomorrow for the outdoor concert series, and I love that Mount Airy says “doors open at 7:30 p.m.” for the 9 p.m. show. I’d like to think Brian McKnight has a huge following that would make people line up at 6 p.m. looking for the best seat, but if I got Brian McKnight tickets, I’m probably showing up around 8:55. Then I’d get super cheesed off when he didn’t start until 9:05. But I’m probably not Brian McKnight’s target demo.

It’s selfish propaganda, but I love that the Original Pocono Pub just uses its ad from the Record’s Weekend section as its Facebook post every Friday. DJ tonight, Bad Influence tomorrow, sounds like good times to me.

The Sherman Theater is doing an island thing tonight, with six DJs, a steel band and island food.

OK, two things came to me when I watched this YouTube video (naughty language and images alert, don’t click on it if you’re offended by that kind of stuff) talking about the Twerk Team of the Poconos having a party at the Pocono Inn in Delaware Water Gap tomorrow night. 1. I’m old, I’m really, really old, as evidenced by the fact that I had to go to UrbanDictionary.com to find out what “twerk” means. 2. I’m really, really white … since I had to go to UrbanDictionary.com to find out what “twerk” means. So, to sum up, really old, really white.

I’m playing Skytop with family tomorrow morning, so we’ll be hitting up lunch/beers somewhere, and I’ll probably be suggesting the PourHouse. It’s on the way back, I’ve wanted to go there, and they seem like they have a nice place. Feel free to hit me with suggestions for what to order. Other than beer. I got that covered. I doubt many people will be willing to join us around 11:30 tomorrow to get started drinking for the day, but you can still check out Erin McClelland there tonight starting at 7.

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