After writing this for an hour or so, I realized I’m especially cynical and critical and nasty today. Just be aware of that as you read …
In today’s good riddance to bad rubbish news -- The Killing has finally, mercifully been killed. But then the news gets worse, as it’s being shopped around to another possible network or streaming video service that will go unnamed. Because, why, everyone loved it so much the first time around? PR people get paid a lot of money to come up with ways to convince people of something. But how could anyone possibly be convinced to come back to The Killing? The ratings dipped this year, it got some of the worst publicity a season finale ever had a year ago … what’s worth saving here? If it had some kind of cult appeal, maybe. But it doesn’t! And it’s a boring show with unlikable characters. Who do you root for in that show, anyone? Even if it’s just cheering for one of their idiot characters to gain some level of redemption, who is it? No one! Let poor Rosie rest in relative peace, even though she probably has the knowledge from beyond the grave that she deserved a better show. Ship it off to Reelz or something like that, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the Wings reruns.
Still never seen more than three or four minutes of Weeds, it’s one of those shows I always said I’ll catch up on, but never did. But for those that do, it ends Sept. 16. Showtime also said The Big C is ending sometime soon, then glossed over the minor details like, you know, when, and then set off fireworks to distract everyone and announced Homeland and Dexter, the network’s two best shows, will start again on Sept. 30. I think I’m over Dexter, I started watching season 5 on DVD then kinda got bored and stopped. When your line of thinking is, “I think I’d like to watch this episode of Dexter I haven’t seen, but there’s an average Seinfeld rerun on that I’ve already seen 35 times … I’m going with Seinfeld,” then it’s probably time to pull the plug. Homeland, however, is on my DVD list. It comes out Aug. 28, just in time for me to burn through before the new TV season starts and my schedule becomes impossibly crowded.
Back in April when I was doing my summer movie preview, I waffled back and forth on which comedy to include in my box office predictions as a top 10 possibility — Ted or The Watch. Wanna take a guess at which one I went with, since The Watch is staking its claim to Bomb of the Summer while Ted is the season’s surprise hit? Damn you, Frat Pack for making me think you still had any drawing power whatsoever. It’s painfully obvious now you don’t. The last hit for a Frat Pack movie was Tropic Thunder in 2008. Before that? Wedding Crashers. The Frat Pack has officially graduated from college and needs to move on. So do we.
Ohhhhh, those MTV Video Awards. Sorry, I had to remind myself that they were still somehow relevent. If you’ve come around here for a while, you’ve witnessed the end of my love affair with the show after being just about the biggest fan of the awards show for two decades. Now? Couldn’t care less. If I tried to care less, we’d be in the area of complete and utter distaste … which would actually make me care negatively, and then I’d be caring and giving the VMAs a minute or two of my life, and I don’t wanna do that. It still does make me sad though that it’s devolved into such typical MTV shullbit that I can’t even watch anymore. So mark your calendars everyone, Sept. 6! MTV is going back to a Thursday broadcast for this one, not sure what kind of sense that makes, and I won’t try and figure it out, because then I’d be caring.
Not exactly sure how one would even go about coming up with a Saved by the Bell top 10 episode list because there really is no way to judge it. Does “the best” mean the actual best in quality? In laughs? In total cheesiocity? However you rank them, this might be the absolutely worst list ever, and I feel pretty strongly about being able to argue about this since I think I’ve watched more Saved by the Ball than about 99.99 percent of the world population. Keep The Fight, that’s a great one, and keep The Last Dance if just for the break-up scene, which is probably the worst acting in SBTB history. Do you know how hard that is to do??? You have to recognize and honor that in some way. But to have the empty Rockumentary as the number one episode … it’s stupefying. It makes no sense whatsoever and because of its ridiculous inclusion, that list should be deemed null and void forever and ever. Amen. Off the top of my head … Screech’s Secret Sauce and Student-Teacher Switch Week are the two legitimately funny episodes that need to be included, Jesse on drugs for its insanity, the Snow White play, Graduation, Screech’s chess match, the SAT test, that’s nine right there. But none of the Malibu Sands episodes can be included, none of the clips shows and nothing, repeat, NOTHING from the Good Morning Miss Bliss days.
More programming decisions I must not be smart enough to understand. The CW is bringing Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog to TV in October and I have no idea why. If you don’t know, it’s a 4-year-old web series from Joss Whedon, and the most important fact of that statement is IT’S FOUR YEARS OLD!!! And it’s not even new episodes, it’s just the ones we’ve already seen! Hasn’t anyone who’s wanted to see it already seen it? It’s been on Hulu, Funny or Die … it’s been everywhere. Maybe it’s a litmus test to see if web-only stuff belongs being rebroadcast on TV, but since I can already tell you the answer (no), then this litmus test is going to fail. I’d love to be wrong on this, it just seems insane. And you can’t really use ratings as a judge because the CW gets no ratings anyway! If only like 1.5 million people watch, they can spin that to say it’s the highest-performing show in that timeslot the network ever had. But it’s still only 1.5 million people, no matter how you slice it. Maybe the CW should just be taken off the air, for good, if these are the ideas the network is coming up with. What will anyone be missing, really? I’d probably miss Vampire Diaries, but I’ll somehow find the strength to get out of bed in the morning and carry on with my life. Still excited for Arrow, but not enough that I’d mind if CW disappeared.
Let The Wolverine hype begin! Oh, wait, that’s just me as the only one who really cares about it. I think. Hard to gauge on this one. It’s the first Marvel movie that is really, really taking a big risk. We’ve going out of the country to a Wolverine-only storyline that almost feels like an independent movie than a big-budget studio blockbuster. Maybe that’s the problem, maybe this would only work as an indie. Got a year to figure that out.
Starting to rethink my original Skyfall prospects. The first teaser kinda blew chunks, but this latest one is pretty dang good. All we want from James Bond is some butt kicking, some nearly naked chicks, some pithy, witty throw-away lines, a good villain and some kind of cool factor that you can’t describe, but you know it when you see it. How hard is that? From the first trailer and the last movie, apparently it’s pretty hard. But the latest Skyfall trailer has it down cold. I haven’t even come close to tuning in to one second of this month-long James Bond thing Encore had going on for July, but I am at least a casual fan of Bond that needs to be convinced it’s worth my time. Right now, I think Skyfall is worth my time. TRAILER GRADE: A-.