Here’s the deal amigos, because I haven’t spelled this out for a couple weeks. Every Friday ’round here, we go completely local and try to highlight some of the biggest, coolest stuff going on around the Poconos. We call it the Pocono Weekend Fun Guide. #PoconoWeekendFunGuide if you’re nasty. Not gonna lie — most of it involves alcohol and the bar scene, for no other reason than that’s what I like to do. Go to bars and listen to bands.
Now you’re asking yourself, “Hey, how come this a-hole isn’t talking my favorite bar/event here? He never talks about my favorite bar/event!!!” That’s probably because I don’t know about it. I have a very limited amount of time I can check around to see what’s going on. A lot of times, I don’t look any further than Facebook, with a bars list I have set up, or event invites.
So if you want to see your event here, that’s the best way. Send a Facebook invite, or make sure I’m following your favorite bar. I’ve got about 50 of them listed, but I’m sure I’m missing some, especially in the West End. But email is a good way too, just send me whatever you have going on for the weekend and I’ll get it in. Bands, drinks specials, special events, keg races, whatever. If you send it to me somehow, I’ll do what I can to list it here every Friday in “The Guide,” a nickname I seriously doubt will ever catch on. Especially when this guy already took it (it’s Ted from Scrubs, btw).
And this is always one of the biggest weeks the The Guide since it’s … it’s … ready? … Race weekend! Which if you live around here, you love or you hate. Me? I’m pretty indifferent. For all the talk about how crowded bars and restaurant and tourist-y places get on these weekends, I just don’t see it. The traffic isn’t nearly as bad as I always heard it was, and my Friday happy hour haunts are never crazy-crowded. So you really can get out and enjoy yourself, it’s not like things get so ridiculous that you have to go on vacation this weekend or anything. The Jubilee, which is one of the closest bars to the track as long as you take Stony Hollow road off Route 940, has karaoke tonight and a DJ tomorrow. Paddy Kenny’s on Route 115 is probably the closest bar to the track. Pocono Brewing Company in Tannersville is doing a party from 7 to 10 tonight in support of race weekend, with Game Show Mania and a DJ.
Mount Airy is pulling out all the stops for Race Weekend. They’re doing a fireworks show tonight, then a free outdoor concert tomorrow night at the Cabana Bar. The concert is Idol Kings, a tribute band dedicated to two acts … Journey and John Cougar Mellencamp. Do I even need to ask? That’s a pretty weird pair, right? What do they have in common other than being 80s rock acts? Mellencamp writes good music, Journey … doesn’t. Mellencamp is one of the low-key symbols of the midwest, Journey is a typical 80s arena rock band drenched in excess. What, you don’t believe me? You’re wrong. I think my biggest question is which act did they start being a tribute band to, Mellencamp or Journey? They couldn’t possibly have started with both, right? And when they decided to pull the Mellencamp/Journey double shot, what made them pick the other one?
Idol Kings member 1: Guys, you know I love good ol’ Johnny Cougar. But we need to diversify. We need to pick up another band to pay tribute to. We’re just not getting the kids out. We need something that’s easy as all hell to play and something that people find annoyingly catchy, so that by the time they’re drunk enough, they’ll be singing along and dancing …
IK member 2, not listening, in a separate conversation: Hey, did you see the Sopranos finale last night? Now I can’t stop humming Don’t Stop Believin’ even though that song sucks out loud under water.
IK member 3: I know! I hate that song worse than I hate cancer and that band worse than I hate my boss, but it seems like every time I hear it, I can’t stop singing it for, like, five days.
IK member 2: Isn’t that kinda what Journey is all about? Open Arms might be the worst song ever made, but I hear it and my head automatically sways.
IK member 3: Then it’s settled! Journey is the most annoyingly catchy band ever.
IK member 1, getting back to his speech: We need a – wait, what did you guys just say??? I think I have an idea!
I won’t for a second pretend to care or even know anything about Jerseyliscious. Is that how you spell it? Don’t know, don’t care. Anyway, that doesn’t mean it’s not nice when “famous” people from the show decide to head to the Poconos for a party. I’d feel like a total tool even describing it, so you’re on your own to point and click to find out what tonight’s event at the Chateau in Tannersville is all about.
Wait, I heard Whispers Lounge in Stroudsburg at the Pocono Plaza was closed, or under new management or not taking bands anymore or something. Apparently that’s not true, or the self-imposed moratorium is over, because Big Things is playing there tonight. I’ve never been in there, it scares me for some reason, but I’m all for bars being open and bands getting work. So I’m on board.
Gonna have to start some kind of file on my favorite band names around here, because we now have a new entry. Porno Tongue is playing at Johnny O’s in East Stroudsburg tomorrow, and I can only imagine what “Porno Tongue” actually means. Is it someone who always talks about porn? Is it a Gene Simmons fan? Is it a guy with a 6-inch tongue? If so, then I’ll probably pass. But hey, maybe it’s a girl with a 6-inch tongue! If that’s the case, color me curious. Seriously, does anyone know??? I’ve officially become mildly obsessed with figuring it out. If you know, hit up the PopRox Facebook page. Or even if you don’t know, give your best guess as to how that name came around.
Don’t you hate it when 6 or 7 rolls around and happy hour ends and you bought a beer at like 6:01 that surprised you with a $4 bill? I must say, the downtown Stroudsburg bars are trying to help with that by keeping pretty good prices through the night. Ciro’s is doing a 9-midnight happy hour tonight, which is better than a 4-6 happy hour that I can only make it to for one hour.
Not that I have any idea what a pig wing is, but yowza just hearing that makes my mouth water. The Cinder Inn has them today until 11 p.m. for $2, and supposedly it’s a rib in wing sauce that falls off the bone. Sold. Sounds like a good hashtag too, let’s get #pigwing trending! Hey, you know what else sounds good? Hearing a band for no cover. Wayward Souls, which incidentally is not a nominee for best band name, is new to the Cinder and playing there tonight.
Old friend Tom Riccabono is playing the PourHouse in Canadensis tonight, haven’t heard from Tom in a while around here, but I’m probably just not paying close enough attention. He played the Sharp launch party all the way back in 2007. Holy smokes Sharp would be five years old this fall. Seems like forever ago, even though no one knows what I’m talking about right now. Stopped in at the PourHouse last Saturday, I don’t think they’re too used to seeing four guys who are already drunk roll in around 11 a.m. Sorry. That’s just how we do things sometimes.
The Pocono Community Theater is hitting up its revival series Saturday and Sunday showing 1971′s The Omega Man. If you don’t know this already, Will Smith’s I Am Legend is based on the same book.