Your Poconos Weekend Fun Guide

OK, this is gonna be really quick, b/c I’m getting out here come hell or high water by 4 so I can watch the basketball game at happy hour. I’ve planned most of my week around it. Let’s hit it:

This isn’t happening this weekend, but got the word earlier this week that actor Paul Dano, he of There Will Be Blood and Little Miss Sunshine, will be coming back to Pocono Community Theater on Aug. 17 to screen his new movie Ruby Sparks. And he’ll again be hosting a Q&A session after the film, and again, you’ll be subject to me moderating said Q&A. My apologies in advance if you couldn’t stand me at the last one. Ruby Sparks is one of the six or seven movies I’ve been looking forward to this summer, so I’m pretty psyched to get to see it at an actual theater. At the last Q&A, I described it from the trailer as Adaptation meets (500) Days of Summer, and Dano said he hadn’t thought of that, and that it was a pretty good description. So I’m smart. Check out the trailer:

getting hungry.

Know what’s awesome? Chicken wings. And the Chicken Wing-Off is this weekend. Seriously. I don’t know what I’d do without them in my life. I guess if they never existed, I wouldn’t know the difference. Kinda like someone who is born blind doesn’t know what it’s like to see, so it’s not a big deal to them. But since I do know, and since I’m starting to get a little older (I’m giving myself “starting,” lay off!) and I’m trying to cut down on my overall wing intake so that I don’t die before I see the Eagles win a Super Bowl, I’m starting to get a little misty that my major wing-eating days are over. I’m also getting nostalgic about my wing experiences. Like how I can still taste the wings at Elizabethtown College’s faux, dry, on-campus bar, The Roost, and how they were the best wings I’ve still ever tasted. Or how my brother Erik and I for years would purposely not tell anyone — friends, family, co-workers — that Front Row in Stroudsburg had free wings for Friday happy hour. Why? For fear that we wouldn’t get our pick of the best. When people who were at the bar would ask us, “Are these for anyone?” we’d just look at each other and tell the person, “I dunno, you’ll have to ask the bartender who’s not around right now” as we wiped wing sauce from our faces and hit our third or fourth helping. Or not eating for a day before hitting up one of those all-you-can-eat wing buffets, putting down about 35, and getting a complimentary, “Nice job!” from the waitress. The onslaught of ridiculously stupid and decidedly feminine wing sauce flavors (wrote about those last year ahead of the wing-off) has made it a little more difficult to be a wing lover. But there is still nothing, NOTHING, like the taste of a good hot wing done right. Not too ridiculously hot, that means you can’t get down more than 10. But not too mild, that’s like driving an automatic after you’ve driven stick for 10 years. What’s the point? It makes me nuts that I can’t get to the wing-off this year. Put a couple down for me, guys. Remember, it’s at Shawnee this year, not Fernwood.

Uh oh. We’ve got dueling fundraisers a couple miles from each other. Shawnee Inn is hosting a Riverfest event from noon to 4 p.m. Sunday to benefit United Way. They’re going with music to bring in the crowds, with local favorite Bobby Syvarth, New York’s Minnie Dee and Nashville artist Brandon Maddox. This is also a PIBCO event, so they’ll be helping with the music, I’d imagine. It’s free, and all of the money raised will go directly to the Salvation Army.

skin to win.

The Lounge is doing a beach party on Saturday night, including a best bikini top contest. Wait, just top? Isn’t that, like, only half of the equation? What am I missing here? Sure, you don’t want to make girls uncomfortable hanging around skeevy guys all night in a bikini, but don’t they have, like, bathrooms or something? (They do, I know that.) Girls can change, right? If you think allowing guys to participate in this contest is some kind of compensation … it isn’t. So there you go, girls. If you wanna win, just go full-on bikini. Gotta imagine that takes the title. $2 drafts though from 9-11, that works much better as compensation.

Another extreme race this weekend — Hero Rush at Skirmish in Albrightsville. This one is supposed to be how firefighters train. After party looks like it’s at Pocono Tap House down the street, you get 10 percent off your bill if you were in the race. I think. I saw it up on their FB page the other day, but I think they took it down. Whatever, it’s a nice place one way or the other.

Told you this was quick. Sorry if I missed your event this week, I’ll catch you next time.

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