We’re Watching You, Romney. And So Is Riggins.

Links, along with some spoiler-ific Walking Dead talk I threw all the way down the bottom:

chose falling asleep on the couch watching the eagles game over going to see argo on sunday. i've made better decisions.

Crowded box office weekend with a crowded outcome, but nothing this week was good enough to take town Taken 2, which repeated as the box office king. That means Argo will have to take its Oscar nomination and be happy about it, Kevin James will have to start looking forward to that King of Queens reunion and perhaps Ethan Hawke might actually still be a movie star. Other than that? But nothing really to see here, I’m interested in next week’s box office report to find out how much the latest Paranormal Activity makes. Which one is this anyway? 3? 4? 19? Does it matter?

The last thing that’s ever going to happen here is for me to deluge you with political crap. You can get enough of that in other places (and in some places, thanks to me). But let’s just say this is a strike against Mitt Romney for me, that he’s jacking “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!” as a campaign slogan in an obvious reference to Friday Night Lights. Only problem? He didn’t ask the person who actually came up with the phrase if it was cool to take his words and pass them off as his own. I know only like 10 people watched Friday Night Lights, eight when you take me and my wife out of the equation. But you better believe those 10 people are gonna raise friggin’ hell when we find out that some rich white prick is trying to make you believe that he’s just an average guy who likes high school football. And if that wasn’t his objective with his blatant rip off, then whoever came up with the brilliant idea to use the line said to himself, “Meh, no one will notice, only like 10 people watched it.” You know who noticed, though? PETER FREAKIN’ BERG, that’s who. Why couldn’t he have done this when it was on, then maybe more people would have paid attention to one of the five best shows of my lifetime. Now cleanse your tainted pallate with the real way it was intended.

Allow me to be the 87,542nd person that’s made this joke today: When Aaron Paul, who plays Jesse on Breaking Bad, signed on for the big-screen adaptation of the video game Need for Speed, he had no idea it had to do with driving a car. Hey ho! Anyway, that’s where he’s headed post-Breaking Bad. And why not? I went off last week about the lack of young action stars in Hollywood today, so agents are probably pushing their young male clients to at least take a shot at an action franchise. And why not Jesse? He’s not exactly what we’d envision our big action stars looking like, he’s not exactly ripped. But he almost had the cut in Die Hard 5, he’s got a potential franchise with Need for Speed, so why can’t he be an action star? He’ll be a little typecast from Breaking Bad, but it’s a pretty small segment of the population that see him and think, “Yo, Mr. White!” Someone needs to take advantage of the lack of young action stars in Hollywood, and it might as well be Jesse.

and so ends the dane cook era. you're welcome.

Here’s a new one, a TV show that gets canceled before it airs. We’ve seen some complete train wrecks that only last two weeks or one airing, but I’m not sure we’ve ever seen this. And it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy, Dane Cook! That’s not fair since I don’t know him, but let’s just say it couldn’t happen to an unfunnier guy. Five years ago, he probably had sitcom offers pouring in by the boatload, but he probably turned every one of them down because he could while he slept on a water bed stuffed with $100 bills. And publicly, he probably told people it was because the “right project hadn’t come along yet.” Now that he’s not selling out Boston Garden or whatever they call it anymore, he jumped at the first offer out there, it stunk, and NBC decided it was perfectly happy wasting millions of dollars in production money for the show never to be seen. This is the same network that currently is airing Guys with Kids, fyi.

I’m not a huge Ant-Man fan, I leave that to my 4-year-old who is sooooooo disappointed that Dr. Hank Pym won’t be on The Avengers cartoon anymore because he’s already changed into Yellowjacket. I don’t know what will ever happen if Wasp gets killed off the cartoon. But maybe she’ll feel better when the long-gestating Avengers spin-off Ant-Man movie hits theaters for Thanksgiving 2015, as if that’s a feasible time to even look forward to. And I don’t know anyone who’s a big enough Ant-Man fan to worry about it that much. Which means that Marvel is probably going to have to introduce Ant-Man in some other way, in one of the other Marvel movies. The studio would get the most bang for its buck debuting him in Avengers 2 in May 2015, probably with Wasp, too. Then the two of them can headline the solo movie. The other news out of the Marvel camp is that Iron Man 3 and Thor 2, both coming out next year, will be 3-D converts. Yawn.

welcome back.

OK, so, if this little piece of news broke in February, I’d really start to think Joss Whedon was off his meds or something. But now? He’s earned the right to take some liberties, so bringing back Phil Coulson, who died in Avengers, to be the star of the S.H.IE.L.D. TV show, would have done ticked me off. Then I actually saw Avengers, saw that Whedon had the best directing vision of a superhero movie other than Sam Raimi, and now I have all the confidence in the world in him. So if he wants to bring back a dead guy and come up with a ridiculous reason as to why Coulson is still alive, so be it.

I wasn’t all that surprised that (SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!) Hershel (kinda) went down in Walking Dead last night. We’ve been seeing the “We’ve spilled blood!!!” promo for almost three months, so we knew someone was gonna be biting it. I was going with Glenn just because. Seems like he’s been skating by a little too closely for a while here. But what the heck is chopping Hershel’s leg off going to do? Without him, there is no one even remotely qualified to administer medical care (not that he was in the first place) but the Scoobies keep looking to him for everything from gunshot wound to a hangnail. So, what, is Daryl going to be able to patch his leg up lickity split now? Or maybe Carl? And who says that chopping his leg off is going to keep him from becoming a zombie anyway? On another note, why do zombies keep chasing the cars when they’re speeding off? Don’t they know they can’t catch cars yet by just walking after them? Stupid zombies.

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