Your Beer-Filled Poconos Weekend Fun Guide

I got a half hour to spare for the Fun Guide, which is down to 29:45 since I initially wrote this sentence in all caps:

now you have to just shrink this thing down to about 1/10 of its size, and that's what the beers will look like this weekend.

Hey look everyone, it’s beer! Lots of beer! Split Rock’s 21st annual Great Brews Classic Beer Fest is Saturday and Sunday, and it’s a good time. In the last two years I’ve been to four different beer fests, and Split Rock’s is impressive, although a little too crowded. Get there early — by like 11:30, at the latest — and be in line and ready to go when the doors open. I went last year and live tweeted from it, but can’t get there this year, unfortunately. The only problem — it’s super crowded. If you want the good, popular beers, you’re looking at a 10-minute wait to get to the sample. For the really high-end beers, it’s about 15 minutes. That’s a lot of time to waste when the beer’s only free for four hours (noon to 4 each day). Nevertheless, it’s worth it. Especially if you were able to pick up any of the discount tickets that were being sold around the region the last week. Of all the beer fests I went to recently, it’s definitely where people get the drunkest, and have the most fun.

We’re going only with Facebook invites from here on in, make sure you get those in to me, especially for the once-a-year Wednesday edition of the Fun Guide coming up next week for the biggest bar night of the year:

The PourHouse in Mountainhome has two things going on this weekend. Tonight Randy Bigness is there playing from 7 to 11, and tomorrow is a Night at the Races fundraiser for Rotary Club of the Poconos. I’ve never been to one of those night at the races thing, but that’s probably because I already dislike betting on simulcast racing. Dislike is being nice I pretty much detest it. don’t know why. I need to have horse racing in front of me, in person.

Not sure what it means that Code 13 is playing its next to last show at the Original Pocono Pub on Saturday. Is OPP stopping bringing in bands? Is Code 13 breaking up? Am I thinking about this way too much? Don’t know, not sure and yes. A little help, people, some answers please!

no, i'm not kidding. this actually is the new burke's.

Don’t know if you’ve been the new Burke’s Tavern in Mount Pocono yet, but if you’ve been to the old one, I can almost guarantee you’re going to walk in to the new one and say, “Holy s—!” It’s unrecognizable. I liked the old Burke’s, I thought it was a nice, easy-going place. But the new Burke’s is like getting something you didn’t know you wanted until you had it. It’s impressive. Joe O’Malley is going to be there tonight for happy hour, so it’s also good that the new place will be having live music.

Blue Mountain in Danielsville is starting its winter season this weekend, and ending its offseason at the same time with a weekend of events including a bonfire, the Jesse Wade Gang and specials at the Slopeside Pub. They specifically say its their last weekend for Slopeside specials, which means when ski season starts, we’re probably back to $6 Coors Lights. Enjoy!

Pub in the Pines has karaoke tonight and Zac Lawless tomorrow night.

Oh no! The Dodgeball tournament at Fernwood on Sunday has been canceled because of the effect of Hurricane Sandy! And I had a whole bunch of Dodgeball related stuff ready to! I’m using it anyway:  Peter LaFleur is not available to be a team captain, he’s off making babies with Ben Stiller’s wife. White Goodman is still too fat to do anything other than eat fried chicken and curse at Chuck Norris. Gordon is unavailable, because Stephen Root is busy filming like eight different movies and three sitcom guest starring appearances, all at the same time. Pepper Brooks was going to be the color announcer for the event, but was too tied up answering questions about the new season of Arrested Development. Is that enough? I think that’s enough. And now enjoy the funniest moment of the movie, which in a rare case, was also the funniest moment of the trailer:

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