Where Movies Go to Die

Short and sweet links, Walking Dead review at the bottom so you can avoid it if you haven’t seen it yet:

ouch babe.

Not a good weekend for Brad Pitt. Killing Them Softly decided it wanted to go toe-to-toe with Cloud Atlas for the title of biggest bomb of the fall — hard thing to do — and it only made $7 million this weekend. The first week of December for some reason is a dead zone for the box office, everything that gets put there loses. Last year, it was the only weekend I can ever remember where there wasn’t one new wide release. I just went back and checked to 2007, and the phenomenon of the weekend after the Thanksgiving weekend is crazy. Nothing of note ever gets released, and the ones that do tank! Go ahead, check them out yourself. I didn’t even remember a lot of these movies. Can we get the Hollywood Reporter or Variety to do a story on this so we can find out what’s up with that weekend?

And here we go with top 10 lists! Top 10 movies, top 10 TV shows, top 10 albums, top 10 farts … all the essentials to close out any year. Vulture’s is the first I’ve seen, and luckily, there are a lot of those out on DVD right now. Metacritic doesn’t have its compilation page up yet, so there must not be many other critics that have released their top 10.

poor saracen.

Don’t worry if you don’t know who Emily Owens is, you don’t have to know anymore since the CW canceled Emily Owens, M.D. I can’t imagine a scenario under which I would have willfully watched this show, short of knowing ahead of time that Minka Kelly was going to be naked on an episode or something. No such luck for The Mob Doctor, which is being forced to play out the string of its filmed episodes through the January finale. The schedule is hysterical for the airing of the final four episodes — a Saturday, New Year’s Eve, another Saturday, then opposite the Alabama-Notre Dame game for the finale. If you add the number of viewers up for those four episodes, I doubt you’d get to 3 million. Why are they even being aired? I’m starting to become convinced someone at Mob Doctor has unflattering naked pictures of every executive at Fox. Just let this poor show die with some semblance of dignity, please!

The original Red Dawn has a line from Powers Boothe about why World War 3 had broken out. “I don’t know. Two toughest kids on the block, I guess. Sooner or later, they’re gonna fight.” Whenever I think about the tiff Simpsons and Family Guy have, that’s the line I think of. Simpsons makes a dig at Family Guy, Family Guy does it back, and on and on we go. But maybe, just maybe, it’s ending when Seth MacFarlane makes a guest appearance on Simpsons for next season’s premiere. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing a jealous little catfight. But this one just seems so ridiculously unnecessary.

I can’t get excited for Guardians of the Galaxy in any way, shape or form. I couldn’t tell you anything about the group, other than they show up in Avengers every now and then and have a raccoon as one of its members. Anyway, it’s starting the process of casting, if that’s interesting to you at all. No? Didn’t think so. Although I think it will be the ultimate test for Marvel to see if its outlying characters have any kind of box office pull.

at the top of its game.

(WALKING DEAD SPOILERS AHEAD!!!) As far as I was concerned, the Walking Dead didn’t need to get off the farm to give its Scooby Gang some freedom. Everyone else in the world thought so, but I didn’t think the farm season was as bad as everyone else did. I won’t say I’m wrong now, because the fact that the show has gotten even better this season could be just coincidental. But it’s probably not. Even if they didn’t need to get off the farm, maybe it’s just a good thing they did. The show has an actual villain now, one with an equally villainous henchman, instead of just a bunch of zombies. The tension is higher when it’s man-on-man violence and not just man-on-zombie. Maybe that’s why they threw in that gladiator thing a couple weeks ago that Andrea was so high and mighty about, to get us ready for the violence that was most assuredly coming. Well, it sure came last night. The assault on Woodbury may not have made much sense plot wise — four guys able to take down an entire community, one that had armed guards patrolling at the time of the attack? — but it was intense and legitimately scary at the same time. That’s the way this whole season has gone so far, intense and scary. And the best part about it all is that Lori isn’t around to see it. SEASON GRADE SO FAR: A-.

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