Your Poconos Weekend Fun Guide

You know the drill:

Normally when I write this every week, I feel old. I still love going to bars and checking out bands, but I’m usually either 1. The oldest one there or 2. Just feel like the oldest one there. Apparently 37 is a weird age, too old to hang out with the 20-somethings and dance all night to DJ club music, too young to listen and dance a whatever classic rock cover band is playing. So what else is there? Anyway, I’m quite proud to announce that for once, I don’t feel old thanks to Mount Airy. The casino has The Grass Roots tomorrow night, and as much as I racked my brain, I had to head on over to YouTube to remember anything they did. Hooray! Score one for those born in 1975 or later! Then when I checked it out, I knew a bunch of songs, I just forgot they did them. I’m usually pretty good at stuff like that, and I should have remembered this was them …

I also realized why I couldn’t remember what they did — because they sound like a bunch of other bands from that era. Or maybe it’s that the other bands sound like them, but when you listen to that song, aren’t you thinking of this one …

… or this one …

… or especially this one …

Four songs, four bands, and they all sound pretty close. I should probably note at this point that if I threw this in there, then we’re talking about my dad’s playlist. If he could figure out how to make a playlist, that is. Wait! Someone did make this playlist, the greatest commercial in the history of music compilation commercials:

Don’t worry, it’s not all Freedom Rock at Mount Airy this weekend. Tonight and every Friday in January and February from 7 to 10 p.m. each night, the casino becomes the 8 trillionth location or area to put their name in front of the the word “Idol” to plug a singing or karaoke competition. Karaoke, in this case, and here are the hundreds of songs you can choose from. I’d probably go with Your Love by The Outfield and then take back all the stuff I said about not feeling old. Hey, and if everyone else is doing it, how have I not had a PopRox Idol yet? Oh, right, I can’t stand American Idol and would probably rather rip all my toenails off than do that. But I know I’m in the minority on that one, and I’ve stopped trying to fight it.

jesus, why don't we just ... shut off the lights

Saturday looks like a big night at the Sherman Theater, not that I know anyone that’s playing or anything (back to feeling old). At the theater, there is a rock concert starting at 5:45 with six local bands opening up for Cry to the Blind. All I know about them is their album cover on their Facebook page looks like the album cover of Faith + 1’s self-titled debut album. You would think after that episode no one would make album covers like that anymore, but there you go. Although it doesn’t seem like they’re a Christian rock band, for better or worse. At the same night at The Living Room, local-band-on-the-way-up Edelweiss is headlining a show with four other bands for a show that has a pretty good Facebook following already. It’s $8 for The Living Room show, $10 for the Sherman show.

Flyin’ Blind has two local shows this weekend (of course they do!). Friday night they’re at the new Panda’s Pub and Sports Bar at the Four Seasons diner on Route 209 in Marshalls Creek, which is trying to make it as seemingly the only place in the Smithfields with any kind of band entertainment. What’s up with that? There’s probably someplace I’m missing, but it’s a tad disappointing. Anyway, the pub has entertainment every Friday and Saturday, usually one of the nights is a DJ, like Saturday. And guess what?!?!?! Four of my favorite words are included in its entertainment schedule: “Free happy hour buffet” that happens Friday from 4:30 to 6:30. Sweet. Flyin’ Blind is then over at Memorytown on Saturday night, a place I’d really like to get to since I wrote the story on them opening again in the summer. I had never been in there, but the inside is still pretty nice.

it's one of these guys, i know it

Haven’t heard much from Milford’s Scott Weis Band for a while, but the guys are opening for Allman Brothers founding member Dickey Betts and Great Southern tomorrow night at Penn’s Peak. Dickey Betts (feeling less old) is one of those people whose publicist usually sends me an email asking if I’d want to interview him, and I pass. I don’t think I got one this time. But I pass only because I want to ask one question, and then I wouldn’t know what to do with myself after. I would have nothing else interesting to ask beyond, “So what’s it like to be in a rock band?” You know, really fun stuff like that everyone wants to read about. Plus, the question I’d want to ask him is somewhat uncomfortable that he’s probably already gotten and doesn’t want to answer: “So which one were you in Almost Famous?” I’d expect to be hung up on at the point. Anyway, tickets are $27 in advance.

3 is at the Pocono Pub on Saturday night saying good-bye to one of its members, Crow. I hope he didn’t get that name from the movie, because I hated that thing. One of my three least favorite movie experiences.

you didn't believe me, did you?

I have no idea who comedian Angel Salazar is, but you know the rules. If you send me a bar/concert event going on in the Poconos, there’s a really good chance I’m going to mention it here. Since Salazar is doing a show at Ehrhardt’s on Lake Wallenpaupack tonight, then he gets mentioned. Plus, one of his publicity photo is him in a button-down shirt only buttoned about one-third of the way up with cut-off sleeves and he’s holding what looks like a 2-ton boombox up to his ear sooooo … I feel the need to mention it. I kinda feel like Seth Rogen in Step Brothers when he thought it was a joke that Dale and Brennan were dressed in tuxedos for a job interview in a garage.  “It’s funny, it’s ironic, I get that, you’re kinda underplaying the whole formality of it, I think that’s funny as hell.” I’m just hoping Salazar doesn’t rip an onion-flavored fart sitting next to me to bring me back down to earth. It’s $15 for the show, half off if you get dinner before the show.

You know another rule? When you mention me on Twitter, you get mentioned too. Since Pocono Brewing Company in Swiftwater made allusions to my regular happy hour stops there on Fridays, then yeah, they get mentioned too. It’s no secret I’m there pretty much every Friday, I check in there on FB on the PopRox page. It really is one of the best happy hours in the Poconos, even if it’s gotten a little too crowded lately. Save a seat or two for the Buzztime players, please! Plus I’m a little miffed for the silly once-every-two-months “exotic” flavors of wings they put on their free buffet table. Last week, after two solid months of nothing but buffalo wings they reverted to General Tsao flavored wings. Who the eff eats General Tsao wings? Isn’t that what I go to the Chinese buffet for? Buffalo or nothing, baby. You would think no one would complain about getting free food, but once again I prove otherwise.

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