Your St. Patrick’s Day Weekend Fun Guide

I’m officially convinced that people will find any excuse to get drunk, and that they feel like they need to. I have no idea why. Maybe as a good justification to get a baby-sitter? “Yeah, can you watch them on Sunday? It’s St. Patrick’s Day, after all. I’m going to get loaded.” I never did. I’m kind of a “day that ends in y” kinda guy, though as I’ve gotten older and had my daughters, yeah, I’ve been looking for more excuses.

This St. Patrick’s Day is, like, the biggest excuse going. We’ve been celebrating it for a week already, two weeks if you live in Hoboken, now this week is actually St. Pat’s, and next week is the Pocono parade. If you play your cards right, that’s four weeks of perfectly legitimate excuses to get loaded.

St. Pat’s is one of the sacred four drinking holidays of meeting up with your friends at the bar and going heavy. It combines with Thanksgiving Eve, Halloween and New Year’s to form the Quartet of Drunkenness. We squeezed two weeks out of Halloween this year, but none of those other holidays could possibly touch what St. Pat’s has given us this month. Pretty sure I’m fully recovered from what turned out to be a pretty tame Scranton Parade Day, so let’s see what the actual holiday is bringing us this weekend around here:

now you know.

First off, this has absolutely nothing to do with being Irish, St. Patrick’s Day celebrating or anything even remotely associated with green. But holy crap, I still can’t believe Bell Biv DeVoe is going to be playing in my backyard on Sunday at Cove Haven in Lakeville and I can’t freaking make it. I feel like Michael Rappaport in Beautiful Girls: “364 days a year I do d—” but this is one night I have standing yearly plans and can’t make it. Someone else is going to have to slap it up, flip it and rub it down for me. And get a new hat and leave the tag in it.

On to the Irish!

Talk about a name tailor (or taylor, in this case) made for St. Patrick’s Day. FOPR Joe O’Malley and his gee-tar is making the rounds this weekend, starting withan appearance on Gary in the Morning this morning. Then he’s off to a happy hour show at Rudy’s in East Stroudsburg starting at 5 p.m. today, another gig at Carrazza’s in Cresco at 7 p.m. Saturday and then he’ll be the emcee for the all-day festivities at Burke’s Tavern in Mount Pocono on Sunday starting at noon. Can he call ahead for a cab now and make a reservation?

Another fine Irishman — Erin McClelland! He’s making the rounds this weekend too. He’s at Peppe’s in East Stroudsburg tonight at 7 p.m., at Newberry’s Yard of Ale at 10 p.m. Saturday, then a doubleheader on Sunday at the PourHouse in Mountainhome in the afternoon and then at Jubilee in Pocono Pines from 6-10. Whew! If God gave you that name, and you were a musician, you’d wanna strike while the iron is hot too. I hit Newberry’s for happy hour last Friday and unfortunately wasn’t very impressed. I’m becoming a beer snob in my older days, but not enough of a beer snob that I don’t at least want the choice of Yuengling on tap. Nice place, nice atmosphere, but it’s for beer snobs only. Rich beer snobs.

Jubilee, incidentally, is going all weekend with live music and specials.

b'gosh and begorrah to you too, lass!

Big Daddy’s in Bartonsville is taking full advantage of St. Pat’s weekend. It’s got the SCProject starting at 9:30 p.m. tonight, then is doing a pre-St. Pat’s party on Saturday. Why not? It’s hard for people to go out and get drunk on a Sunday (not me, I’m just saying some people), you have a better shot at the weekend tourist crowd that is now going to disappear for the next two months, you have less competition … win-win-win! Surprised more places aren’t doing this.

Oh wait, they are! Panda Pub in Marshalls Creekis going a day early and bringing in a somewhat new band I haven’t heard of, but if Kenny booked them, then they’re probably pretty good. The James Surpa Blues Band will be playing for the night, and there will be drink specials too. Just don’t do green beer, it demeans us all.

Are you kidding? Flyin’ Blind ain’t missing out on a Poconos party weekend, not a chance. The band will be at Memorytown’s St. Pat’s party starting at 9 p.m. Saturday. Another Saturday St. Pat’s party, gotta love it.

Original Pocono Pub in Bartonsville is doing its St. Pat’s party Saturday with 3 hosting the festivities. It’s also doing the ham, corned beef and cabbage thing, which I don’t get. Who still eats that? I know it’s a tradition on St. Pat’s, but man, it’s gross. And cabbage is definitely something you don’t want cooking while you’ve got 200 people in your bar drinking. You’re just asking for your bathroom to be befouled, right? My mom is 100 percent Irish, and she used to make it because her mom did, but even she gave up years ago. Maybe this is the last generation of that meal, maybe we can put it to bed permanently in about 15 or 20 years. Blech!

everybody irish. now you irish too.

Don’t worry, there is plenty of actual St. Patrick’s Day stuff going on. Siamsa is doing its party all day starting with kegs and eggs at 9 a.m. and then they’re going all day long. Irish dancers, bagpipers, all that good stuff. And if you can make it to 9 p.m., then they have DJ Leprechaun, as I am sure that is his real name, keeping the drunk people up even longer.

I’m pretty sure Sarah Street doesn’t hate the Irish … but I can’t be sure since they don’t have anything St. Pat’s related listed. I’d imagine they’re saving it up for next weekend, but they don’t have anything listed then either for the parade. But they do have a soul band playing tonight and Pocono Due for its usual Sunday night deal.

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