Your Poconos Easter Weekend Fun Guide

Doesn’t look like much is going on this weekend, one of the few weekends of the year I even say, “You know, I should probably slow down and maybe not go out.” It’s not exactly conducive to drinking and celebrating, ya know? That actually works out OK, I’m a little pressed for time anyway. But I did want to mention a few things:

We’re going a tad out of the area for this one, but I got the funniest email maybe ever yesterday. Not laugh-out-loud-ha-ha funny, but it was the weekend’s events at the Bethlehem Steel Stacks complex. They show indie movies usually, but this weekend they’re showing a couple revivals. And herein is where the comedy lies. Check out this double feature on its web page that you (yes you!) could take in today if you were so inclined.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show
03/29
Director:Jim Sharman. Stars: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick
11:30pm
The Passion of the Christ
03/29
Starring Jim Caviezel, Monica Bellucci. Directed by Mel Gibson.

As far as I can tell, that’s serious. Are there two more different movies in the history of cinema than Rocky Horror and Passion of the Christ? Is there anyone, and I mean ANYONE, that can do both movies, other than on a dare? But wait! There’s more! Here’s the movie lineup for Saturday revivals from the Bethlehem ArtsQuest website:

Blazing Saddles
03/30
Starring Gene Wilder, Cleavon Little, Harvey Korman. Directed by Mel Brooks.
10:45pm
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
03/30
Director:Jim Sharman. Stars: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick
11:30pm
The Passion of the Christ
03/30
Starring Jim Caviezel, Monica Bellucci. Directed by Mel Gibson.
1:15pm

Apparently didn’t think they were doing the “I’ll bet you a million bucks we don’t get one repeat customer to the Friday movies” hardcore enough. So someone upped the ante and said, “Hold on, I got one for ya, check out this triple feature I concocted!” I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything like this. OK, so Blazing Saddles and Rocky Horror kinda overlap. But in one day, you can watched Jesus be tortured in the most gruesome, uncomfortable five minutes I’ve ever seen in the theater. Then you can see a black  man say, “Excuse me while I whip this out,” reach into his pants and watch the crowd gasp. Then you can do the Time Warp in the middle of the theater aisles. That’s it, baby. You’ll never see three more different movies played in one day at one place. Good luck trying to top it, and good luck if you want to give yourself the biggest challenge of your life and sit through all three. It should be part of a movie-watching Olympics or something.

Back to the Poconos and two great shows going on sale tomorrow at Penn’s Peak. Yeah, you heard me, I just said Rick Springfield would be a great show! Who doesn’t love Rick Springfield, really? What could you possibly have against him? Yeah, he’s straight bubble gum pop and he somehow hasn’t aged in 30 years. But if you tell me you don’t sing every word to Jessie’s Girl when it comes on at the bar — and it most likely will come on at the bar, no matter what bar, no matter what time — then you’re straight lying. LIAR!!! And that’s not even my favorite Rick Springfield song. Yeah, I have a favorite Rick Springfield song. I’m almost embarrassed, but here:

i couldn't even begin to guess how many times i listened to throwing copper.

The second one actually is a cool concert, this year’s Summerland Tour. Apparently “summerland” is code word for “90s retro alt-pop one-album wonders.” I missed that email. Can someone forward it to me? Anyway, this year’s tour is Everclear (which headlined the tour last year), Live, Filter and Sponge. It’s probably not as good as last year’s bill which had Sugar Ray, Gin Blossoms, Lit and Marcy’s Playground, but it’s pretty close. I’m more interested to see how this show does at Penn’s Peak. The venue has established itself definitively as a classic rock/jam/country place, so to move into the 90s is a big step. Hold on, I may be looking at this wrong. Is … is Live now classic rock?!?!?! Holy poop on a stick. It probably is. OK, I’m calling off the rest of this column so I can go buy a walker.

I’m back. My knees feel better already. Let’s hit up the FOPRs while we’re here. And guys, let’s not do Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door tonight, agreed? Agreed.

Joe O’Malley looks like he’s got a permanent happy hour thing going at Memorytown starting at 3:30 this afternoon. Geez, doesn’t anyone work anymore?

Flyin’ Blind is going to be at Panda’s Pub tonight starting at 9:30 p.m. You know, because it’s a weekend and all, it’s not like they wouldn’t be playing.

G is then at the Speakeasy at Pocono Manor at 9 p.m. Saturday.

You can get a double dose of Big Things tonight at Silver Lake Tavern in Dingmans Ferry, then tomorrow at the Luna Rosa in Gilbert. Two shows, no wait!

Jesse Wade is at the Beltzville Bar and Grille tonight at 9, though I’m not sure I can fully endorse the who “rowdy redneck weekend” he’s touting.

Erin McClelland is at the PourHouse in Mountainhome tonight from 7 to 10.

Bad Influence is at the Original Pocono Pub on Saturday night.

The Peter Holland Band is at Big Daddy’s in Bartonsville tonight starting at 9:30.

That’s all the time I gots, have a great holiday weekend everyone! FYI, on my way in today I saw at least four staties on the roads. You’ve been warned.

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