The Next Michael Scott Should Be …

As we all get over the idea that Steve Carell will be gone from The Office in a year and accept that NBC intends to continue the show without him, it’s time to start realizing that Carell has gone out of his way to make sure the show is in good hands.

it's been real.

it's been real.

He’s worked his butt off round the clock for seven years churning out big movies while on hiatus from the show when he could have just tore his contract up, wiped his butt with it and said, “Eff off TV peons, I’m gone.” He’s open to the possibility of guest appearances after he leaves. He’s let NBC — and fans — know more than a year in advance that he won’t be coming back, giving us the time to savor every Michael Scott moment this year and giving his bosses more than ample time to find an acceptable replacement.

Carell has done everything he could to help the show and the fans through this transition — now it’s NBC’s turn to help the fans with a viable, funny replacement that will fit right in at Dunder Mifflin and even inject a new, consistent energy to the show that’s been lacking for about two years.

So far, NBC is on the right track. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a faster train out there.

Both Danny McBride and Rhys Darby are extremely acceptable choices, at least on the surface. I thought of Danny McBride previously, I just thought he was tied to Eastbound and Down (naughty language alert on that link, big time) and wouldn’t be able to swing The Office into his schedule. It’s a pretty good choice — he’s funny, he’s awkward and the Kenny Powers mullet plays in Scranton. Rhys Darby I hadn’t thought of, and now I’m kicking myself for not thinking about it. He’s perfect. He’s so perfect, I’m thinking about making a Facebook fan page to start a petition to get him on. If you’re not familiar with his work, it’s worth taking six minutes or so to watch this, the best of Murray Hewitt from Flight of the Conchords (only a small bit of naughty language):

There is one problem with either pick. I’m stealing shamelessly and blatantly from Bill Simmons here, but taking them kills the alpha dog. From the jump, Carell was the head honcho on the show andin real life, a fact accepted by the cast. As the stars of the rest of the cast started to rise, Carell’s still sparkled brightest. This was reinforced by the show, which has centered almost entirely on the trial and tribulations of Michael Scott. The Jim-Pam thing was just secondary window dressing to give the show the addicting love story that forced fans to the Internet to spew on whether Jim belonged with Pam or Karen. The one plot that should have belonged exclusively to Jim and Pam — their Niagara Falls wedding — was stolen by Michael when he bunked with Pam’s mom.

"you think i got my tooth knocked to let murray get all the best lines! not quite."

"you think i got my tooth knocked to let murray get all the best lines! not quite."

That hierarchy was fine when the show started, the show was built around Carell because he was the only recognizable face in the cast. But what now? Ed Helms has a $275 million hit under his belt with the sequel on the way next Memorial Day. Do you think he’s gonna sacrifice weekly screen time to an offbeat stand-up from New Zealand whose one TV show was unintelligible to most of the country? Craig Robinson has earned his way into the Apatow Players, guaranteeing he’ll have a steady movie paycheck for the next five years, at least. And if he had his Office lines reduced any further, people would think he’s a deaf-mute. That was all well and good when Carell had the rest of the lines, but what about when the man whose one major starring comedy role is an HBO show that has aired all of six episodes in 18 months gets all the attention?

The Simmons theory — and it’s completely true — is that every group needs an alpha dog. He’s the leader the rest of the dogs turn to in times of crisis, or go to for advice. If there isn’t a definitive alpha dog, the pack members to fight for the title, thereby creating tension and uneasy competition. The Office has managed to stay a successful show with a half-dozen people who probably think they’ve earned alpha dog status, but bowed to Carell. If John Krasinski is going to be passed over, you better believe he’s looking for someone with a longer, more credible career highlight than “Yes Man” or “UPS schill” to be the person stepping on his head.

This isn’t a role for an up-and-comer.

Not just because of the alpha dog theory, but because to be the lead on this show takes honest-to-goodness TV comedy talent. It’s not your average three-camera sitcom where you walk on stage, hit your mark, say your funny line and exit stage left. Not every one can do it, it takes actual comedic timing. You think Krasinski won the Jim Halpert job because of his good looks? I’m sure it didn’t hurt, but he won the job because he’s got impeccable timing and can make the funniest reactionary faces you’ll ever see in TV. He can read the complex dialogue and make it sound like he actually talks like that in real life. Can you really picture Kelsey Grammer pulling off “That’s what she said“? Or making a “My Humps” ringtone hysterical? Me neither.

So it’s not just get the most available person, it take careful examination and perfect timing. Presuming the search is outside the Dunder Mifflin cubicles — it certainly seems to be — here’s what NBC should be looking for in its next Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch manager:

nothing wrong with this choice. but the show could still do better ...

nothing wrong with this choice. but the show could still do better ...

--Available, funny sitcom veteran who previously led another successful show. It solves the alpha dog issue and brings instant credibility to the new position. THINK: Zach Braff, Ted Danson, maybe even Tim Allen

--Well-established, almost grizzled, comedy veteran with some acting chops who may not have had led a successful TV show, but would walk onto the set and command respect. THINK: Martin Short off of his run on Damages, Steve Martin

--A very funny “name” movie star whose had some TV experience and wants to lead a show. NBC has a year to get this done, so why not take some shots at the moon? Maybe there’s someone out there who isn’t terribly happy with the movie roles he’s being offered, so he’s looking for the perfect TV role to beef up his resume (a la Kiefer Sutherland when he signed up for 24). The worst they can do is say no, and then you go back to the perfectly acceptable choices of McBride or Darby. THINK: Paul Rudd (probably the best, most fitting choice out there right now, there’s just no way he does it), Jennifer Aniston, Michael Cera (when Scott Pilgrim bombs this weekend, Greg Daniels should be on the horn by lunchtime Monday assessing the possibilities), Zach Galifianakis. 

getting warmer ...

getting warmer ...

--How come women sitcom vets are barely in the discussion? The Jim and Pam storybook romance hasn’t hit any bumps since they got together. Bringing in a woman boss to harmlessly flirt with Jim for a couple months, then make it more serious to the point where it becomes a legitimate threat would be interesting and a shot in the arm to the seriousness of the show. The Office always has worked best when the comedy intersects with real life. In a woman boss’s first season finale, I could see the cliffhanger being a Jim-new boss kiss, sort of an homage to the second-season finale when Jim kissed Pam for the first timeTHINK: Christina Applegate, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Mila Kunis, Leah Remini, Jane Kaczmarek.

With all of those names, what if I told you there is a funny, available movie star and sitcom veteran out there who (we’ll fill in the blanks later so as not to give it away, try to guess who it is):

Has shown he’s not averse to getting back into TV, voicing a character in the short-lived animated sitcom (a)________ … hasn’t managed to really lead any major movie he’s been in since 2007, and the one he did lead, (b) ________ flopped … has a pretty open schedule … has been in seven movies since 2007 that have grossed an average of $92.25 million domestically and whose movies have grossed $2.5 billion worldwide since 2002 … is about to be the second lead in the romantic comedy (c)________ that has bomb written all over it, thereby hastening a return to the comforts of TV … has led one of the five funniest shows of the last decade, (d)__________, in an alpha dog role that wouldn’t be too far from the situation he’d be stepping into on The Office.

This actor exists. Fill in the blanks: a. Sit Down Shut Up b. Extract c. The Switch, and if you haven’t figured it out already, d. Arrested Development.

he's already dressed for it.

he's already dressed for it.

Jason Bateman is the perfect man for the job. The role would be a cake walk for him, he’s one of the few people who’s done this kind of comedy and pulled it off successfully. Very successfully, actually. He’s enough of a name that the current Office cast would have to fall in line behind him. He’s both young and a veteran, so older and younger viewers recognize him. His movie career has been more than solid both critically and commercially, even though he’s never pulled off the lead guy.

Now comes the hard part — getting him to sign on the dotted line. NBC has more than a year to find someone to grab the lead role in its signature sitcom, and probably it’s signature scripted show. The last time it had more than a year to pull off something like this, it blew the whole thing to smithereens and went down in TV disaster history. This is its mulligan.

For the sake of all Office fans, let’s hope Steve Carell’s replacement isn’t Jay Leno.

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Paring Down the Awards Shows

Thanks to everyone that stopped by the third PopRox live chat Friday! Always a good time, for me at least. Next one is scheduled for Sept. 3.

Today’s links:

what? twilight wins at the teen choice awards! noooooooo!!!

what? twilight wins at the teen choice awards! noooooooo!!!

There are too many awards shows. We know that. So just in case you were wondering, here’s how you know an awards show is about as useful as a third nipple — it’s not broadcast on TV live. In other words, people care so little about it that they don’t need to know who won, they can just check it out in a couple days when it’s broadcast on TV. Such is the case with the Teen Choice Awards. When saddled with the decision of whether to broadcast it live on Sunday and pre-empt three hours of Simpsons, Family Guy and Cleveland reruns — reruns appearing on TV now for the third time — Fox decided instead to just to hold off a day, let the newspapers and websites report the results and then broadcast it. That definitively tells you two things:

1. Fox doesn’t care about this broadcast. Instead of going through the extra cost, responsibility and effort to broadcast it live instead of the third airing of Family Guy’s Empire Strikes Back episode, some network executive just said, “Screw it, we’ll take off Lie to Me tomorrow. Good enough?” And everyone in the room nodded and shook hands. To Fox, the Teen Choice Awards is like going to a wedding four hours away of a person you barely know when you’re not even staying overnight. You’ll go, but it’s barely worth it and there’s a 99.99999% chance you’ll be complaining about it Monday to your friends.

2. Teens, apparently, don’t care about these awards. At least that’s the clear message Fox is sending. It’s hard to argue with them since I just did a Google search for “teen choice awards aired live” and didn’t see one article, blog or tweet complaining about not seeing Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson walking down the red carpet live. The only reason teens tune in is to see what their favorite stars are wearing.

So if the network doesn’t care about it, and teens don’t care about it, then why are they still doing this? We’ll never get back to having only the three major award ceremonies televised — Oscars, Emmys, Grammys — but we can at least start to thin out the ranks of the dregs. Teen Choice Awards, you’re officially in the dregs.

there just aren't many more acceptable reasons to watch entourage anymore

there just aren't many more acceptable reasons to watch entourage anymore

Start thinking about the end of Entourage if you haven’t already. The boys couldn’t even go to a bingo parlor and be called “boys” anymore, so let’s make it official — next summer will be the end of Entourage. If you’re one of the four people still crying over this — I’m still a fan, but I’m certainly not crying — first get over it since it hasn’t been really funny for about three years, and then just enjoy the rest of the ride since it seems like there are only 11 episodes left as of right now (five this year, six next year). If you’re still watching Entourage at this point, you’re one of four people, and there really isn’t much wiggle room on this:

1. You find the whole back-room, Hollywood-deal-making stuff remarkably interesting even though you didn’t crack a smile once in season six (that’s me).

2. You’re holding on for dear life hoping it’s going to get funny again (it won’t).

3. You still think it’s funny (stop whatever you’re doing RIGHT NOW and head to the doctor, there may be something seriously, medically wrong with you).

4. You’re along for the ride of the patented Vince’s Hot Nekked Chick of the Week.

In case you haven’t guessed, categories 1 and 4 are the only acceptable tickets to have on the Entourage train if you want to keep your dignity.

Will Ferrell ain’t dead yet. So he set off a Land of the Lost stink bomb last year. It looks like it might have been just a bump in the road instead of a career-turning movie as The Other Guys jumped to #1at the Hollywood box office this weekend. He obviously doesn’t have the same gas he has four years ago with the premiere of Talladega Nights since the box office tallies keep going down since then, but there’s still some life left in him yet. Actually, Land of the Lost isn’t that different from the rest of his career. He seems to have one hit, then one “meh” movie or a bust, and then he goes back to hit. Remember Semi-Pro? Or Stranger Than Fiction? He had to deal with these same questions after those movies and answered them each time. I’m not even a Ferrell fan, I hated Anchorman. Just saying that betting against him isn’t the smart play.

Yeah, I know, the thought of already giving up on the summer with about a month left is pretty depressing, but if you want to be ahead of the curve, it’s time to start looking toward fall, where we start to see Oscar contenders on the film release scheduleand a new TV season. And by October, we start seeing some of the year’s biggest music releases so that Santa plants those big CDs under the tree. There are only two things I’m giddy-excited for this fall — The Social Network and the return of Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I would have loved to have said Blue Valentine because of its local connections, filmed in and around Scranton and Wayne County, but I have yet to like Ryan Gosling in anything he’s done. With the 30 or so shows I keep tabs on, Always Sunny is #1 on my list. When my friends and/or family get together these days, it’s the show more than any other that we quote. And once it starts, it takes us at least a full half-hour to get through it. 

Steve Buscemi’s place in credible pop culture is completely and definitively cemented. The guy shows up in everything, and every time he does brings the goods. He’s a favorite of directors (Coens, Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez), of stars (Adam Sandler) and producers (Jerry Bruckheimer). He’s got about 120 items on his IMDB resume, and he keeps taking small roles that lend to his legend. But in all that time, he’s never had a real #1 starring role. At least I can’t find one. His most memorable performances — Mr. Pink, Seymour in Ghost World, Donny in Big Lebowski, Carl in Fargo, and yeah, Rock Hound in Armageddon — have all been third-billed or lower. He’s made tremendous career choices, rarely taking anything that is going to tarnish his impeccable reputation. Even Bruckheimer movies! He must have had dozens of offers to have his own TV show, or to have a major starring movie role. Until now, he’s turned them all down. So when he says that his starring role in Boardwalk Empireis a dream come true, I tend to believe him. This show makes or breaks HBO for the next five years. If it fails, another in a string of HBO original failures that have failed to catch on in the mainstream, the talk will be that it’s officially lost it’s touch. If it succeeds, you’ll hear nothing but “HBO is back!” talk. One way or another, Buscemi’s place in history is safe.

sad, happy or torturous, it's still one of the TV's best

sad, happy or torturous, it's still one of the TV's best

Good to see Matt Saracen getting some work now that his Friday Night Lights days are over. And since this is the last link on the day, if you’re not a Friday Night Lights fan — or if you haven’t watched it yet -- just go ahead and stop reading here. That way I won’t have to bug you with thoughts on Friday’s fourth season finale. Waiting … waiting … OK, we’re alone now, so here goes: It’s ridiculously implausible that East Dillon could ever beat West Dillon. It would be like a satellite campus of Penn State starting a football program and beating the real Nittany Lions later that season. In the process, that satellite team would turn their entire satellite town into believers even though they’ve been outscored something like 432-63 on the year. Also, the satellite campus wouldn’t have its best player, it’s only star player, for the first half. But because this is Hollywood, and because Friday Night Lights stopped worrying about football reality years ago when it granted Tim Riggins a sixth year of high school football eligibility, and because every character on this season of Friday Night Lights has been through every form of tragedy short of a kidney stone, we all knew that ball was going through the uprights before good ol’ whipping boy Lance stepped to it. I’m fine with that. Anyone who made it through this season of FNL without becoming a chain smoker or a full-blown alcoholic deserved some kind of end-of-season reward. Friday’s FNL was that reward. As much as I love the show, I admittedly had thoughts of, “Do I really want to go through this again next year?” The abortion. The abortion aftermath. Sarcen’s dad. Saracen leaving. Saracen and Julie breaking up. The Riggins Boys’ impending jail term. Vince and his mom. Vince and his boys. Coach being humiliated on a weekly basis. Watching this season of FNL was some kind of wonderful form of emotional torture, if there even is such a thing. We needed something like Friday’s finale, where we could all cheer the show instead of involuntarily screaming out a safe word in the hopes the show would release you from its gag ball. It sucks that Riggins is in jail and that Julie and Matt broke up for sure this time, but anyone who didn’t see those coming three episodes away have never seen this show before. In the Taylor household and the world of Dillon, everything is as right with the world as it possibly could be — and the McCoys got their comeuppance. Really, that’s all we were looking for. FINALE GRADE: B. SEASON GRADE: B+.

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Live Chat! Live Chat!

Getting close to live chat time! It’s at noon, not that far away. Head on over, I’ll open up the comment portion around 11:30.

Couple topics I plan on touching on:

it's safe to say we'll be talking about friday night lights

it's safe to say we'll be talking about friday night lights

Can Will Ferrell come back from Land of the Lost? Big weekend for him with The Other Guys, he needs to have a big opening weekend. The Inception buzz may have finally died down, so it’s poised to get #1 at the box office.

What look like the best TV shows of the fall? Still tough to tell, but there are a few I’m excited for.

What’s everyone watching this summer, and how the heck did the summers get so TV crowded? I’ve actually had to make it a point to cut down on my summer viewing, and I’m still falling behind on my shows.

Friday Night Lights season finale. No more words necessary.

But as always, any topic is open for discussion. Think up some good ones and we’ll talk about it, see you at noon!

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Live Chat Tomorrow!

One more day til we get to another edition of the PopRox live chat, which is right here tomorrow at noon.

So it’s time to set some ground rules because in the July 2 edition, there were some … issues. It seemed like we had two camps of people, people that had important pop culture questions/comments/observations and wanted to chat about them, and people who wanted to fight about the legitimacy of jam bands that got angry when I stopped posting their comments. I’d rather not see that again.

sorry, but i barely even know who these guys are

sorry, but i barely even know who these guys are

That’s why I’ve come up with these guidelines. I’m not calling these things rules, because I hate rules. Let’s just call them expectations. My expectations of chatters, and in turn, chatters’ expectations of me:

1. Here’s how the chat works on my end: As the administrator of the chat, I see every comment/question/insult that comes in. ALL of them. If you submitted something, don’t worry. I got it. Trust me. Then I decide if it’s worthy/clean enough to move it over into the actual chat for the public to see. I think I’m pretty liberal, I move stuff into the chat that sometimes probably wouldn’t get by the regular Big Brother censors. But sometimes there is just no way I can move something in because of its content. RECOMMENDATION:  Shy away from cursing and direct attacks on another person in the chat. I’m all for discussion. But when stuff gets personal, try sending that person a text instead of bringing it to the chat. Direct attacks on me, however, are fair game. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.

2. Just because you send in a comment that doesn’t have cursing or direct attacks on someone, that doesn’t mean you’re going to see it move into the public chat. In July for the 2.5-hour chat, we set a Pocono Record chat record with 1,001 comments from readers. That was double the amount of comments we had ever gotten for a live chat and an average of almost seven comments a minute. It would be impossible for me to move every comment into the chat and answer the legitimate ones. If you send in comments like, “Y ISN’T MY COMENT SHWING UP!!!!” all it does is keep me from answering legitimate questions from other chatters. If your legitimate comment doesn’t make it, it’s probably because I didn’t find it that interesting or funny. Sorry to play God on that, but I just can’t post them all. RECOMMENDATION: Stick to pop culture questions. If you have no question for me to answer but still want to see your comment show up, I’m a fan of good movie/TV quotes. Or a good random observation. And when I say “good,” if you send me a quote from Runaway Bride, I’d have no idea what you’re talking about and probably think you’re a little weird.

3. I have no idea how so many jam band fans infiltrated the last chat. I wasn’t prepared for it — but I am this time. RECOMMENDATION:I’m not saying I’m ignoring any comments containing references to Phish, The Dead, Widespread Panic, WSP sux, but I certainly won’t just be arbitrarily moving them into the chat. And I really doubt I’ll be answering any questions about them either. Here’s my answer to every jam band question — I don’t like jam bands and I know little-to-nothing about their comings and goings. There. Now we can all move on.

Tomorrow, we’ll be chatting about anything and everything pop culture. TV, movies, music, Lindsay Lohan — whatever you want to talk about in that realm, I’ll be game for, and honestly, I hope to see as many people as possible there. I’m certainly not trying to exclude anyone, please don’t take it that way. I just want to make sure the people who really wanna chat pop culture have a chance to ask a question.

As always, you can e-mail me your questions in early, you can leave them in the blog comments or you can post them on the PopRox Facebook or Twitter pages.

So until then, on to some quick links:

for those keeping count, we're now going into the second year of john hughes tributes.

for those keeping count, we're now going into the second year of john hughes tributes.

This one is for Breakfast Club fans who don’t mind driving into NYC — there will be a 25th anniversary screening of the movie on Sept. 20 with a panel discussion from some of the stars. The panel moderator? Kevin Smith. It’s $25 a pop, and I think that’s entirely worth it. For fans of the movie — I am — and fans of Smith — I am — $25 plus tolls, gas and food is a pretty dang good deal. I’ve spent a lot more on much less. Tickets went on sale today and although I didn’t buy (yet) I was able to secure some pretty good tickets when I tried around 11:30 a.m. So jump on the bandwagon now if you wanna go.

News isn’t so good for fans of the Meet the Parents franchise with the third installment, Little Fockers,  coming out for Christmas. Apparently the movie is so unfunny — as evidenced by the unfunny trailer released a couple weeks ago — that the studio is trying to get Dustin Hoffman to come in for some quick reshoots. Oh, and maybe I forgot to mention this, but Hoffman isn’t in the original cut of the movie. Yeesh. That just reeks of desparation, even the Old Spice guy couldn’t cover that stink.

Some info I received the other day from Bridget Davis, the founder of the Pocono Mountains Film Festival: It’s the last weekend in October, the festivities are moving from East Stroudsburg to Pocono Manor, she’s planning on making it a bigger deal this year and the festival has a much better chance this year to actually sell some films for distribution. That’s the quick, before-you-hear-about-it version. I’ll likely be writing a story about it for one of the weekend’s papers, so keep your eyes peeled.

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Complaining About the VMAs is soooo 2004

Just two more days to the PopRox live chat! This will be the third we’ve done, and we’re going to do it on the first Friday of every month from now on. So get those questions ready and we’ll see you here Friday at noon.

Or if you want, you can follow through Twitter at #poprox. Check back tomorrow for some final words about the chat to try and avoid the confusion we had in the July edition. I’m completely confident that won’t stop the confusion, but at least it will be on the record.

On to today’s links:

awesome, another year of this. adios, vmas.

awesome, another year of this. adios, vmas.

It’s really become passe to bitch and moan about MTV still having the Video Music Awards even though it doesn’t play videos. You might as well make an old joke about Ishtar was a bomb. But you know what’s even weirder? Talking about the biggest snubs of the VMAs. I’ve made my affection for the VMAsquite public over the last couple years, but if I was at a party somehow talking to the hottest woman in the room and all of a sudden she changes the topic of conversation to her anger over Miley Cyrus getting boned out of a 2010 VMA nomination, I’d run for the exit in fear or start looking for hidden Punk’d cameras. But I certainly wouldn’t continue to engage her in that topic of conversation. Yeah, it’s time for me to break up officially with the VMAs. It was a nice run while it lasted. Although I will say that I was surprised, not angry or happy, that 30 Seconds to Mars got such attentionwhen Jordan Catalano hasn’t seen MTV since My So Called Life reruns. Maybe Claire Daines should start a band and she could get a VMA nomination too. Plus, if you’re going to cream over a 30STM song/video, shouldn’t it be The Kill …

and not Kings and Queens?

I’d take The Kill on both counts.

It was impossible follow all the Tweets from Sons of Anarchy’s panel discussion with critics at the TCA tour on Tuesday. I tried, but got lost somewhere between Jax making fun of dentists and telling the Emmys exactly what they can do with their nominations. It was fun trying though. So, is Charlie Hunnam, who plays Jax, in danger of becoming the character Jax in real life? The TCA isn’t exactly the crowd where you curse and stick your middle finger right up Emmy’s butt. He’s definitely losing his native British accent, which was somewhat strong in Nicholas Nickleby …

… but seems pretty slight in a TV interview last September …

Who knows? Maybe by now he’s completely adopted an Oakland accent and is scouring the Bay Area looking for a baby. It just seems like in real life he’s falling into this world that’s been created for him as an actor. That’s a little weird. Right, Joaquin Phoenix? As long as he keeps making very good TV, I won’t care.

prepare for a tagline of "from the guys who brought you reno: 911!"

prepare for a tagline of "from the guys who brought you reno 911!"

FX stayed busy, ordering up a pilot from Reno 911! guysThomas Lennon and Ben Garant. It just took me 15 minutes to find out through Google that the show those two had at NBC died, freeing them up to make the deal with FX. Hopefully this one sees the light of day. Watching those guys get completely censored on NBC didn’t appeal to me anyway, the mere thought of Reno on network TV is enough to make me want to throw up. I’d much rather they get to do their thing on Comedy Central or FX. Apparently it won’t ever be at Comedy Central again, even though the network seemed to be the home of The State alumni until it canceled Stella, Michael and Michael Have Issues and, later, Reno 911!  That’s now two shows Lennon and Garant took to places other than Comedy Central after the network abruptly canned Reno last year.

More FX! It gave a second season to Louie, a show I’m still having trouble going completely all-in with. And I don’t think I will until they get rid of the stand-up stuff. It’s funny, but if I wanted to watch stand-up, I’d watch Comedy Central Presents. Or any of the old VHS tapes I have of HBO’s Young Comedian Specials, like when I fell in love with the comedy stylings of the one and only Fred Stoller …

Anyway, when I tune in to a sitcom, I’d rather see some varying form of acting, writing and wit melded together instead of a guy standing on stage telling jokes for 10 minutes an episode. What’s even more frustrating is the sitcom stuff is really, really funny. At least for a first-year sitcom. The humor is extremely, terribly, awkwardly uncomfortable at times, yeah, but it’s still really funny. The Matthew Broderick stuff from last week had me cracking up, and the ridiculously implausible mother stuff from last night wasn’t as funny as it was outlandishly insane. But the show just loses its entire pace and whatever momentum it generated when they put him back up on stage. Hopefully they’ll pull a Seinfeld and just phase the stand-up routines out of the episode, or at least limit them to about 30 seconds. The second year is deserved, since this is the same network that gave the fantasy football farce The League a second season, so it better give a smartly funny show like Louie another year. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room to improve.

What a shock! CBS took an idea doomed to get harsh treatment from the groups that love to censor TV shows, sat back and let the publicity happen and gave it an important, cushy spot behind Big Bang Theory on Thursday. Then, they took the idea, transformed it completely from what the idea of the Twitter account was designed as, enlisted a C-list has-been “star” and turned the show into a bland version of Titus. In this 2:27 trailer for $#*! My Dad Says, I didn’t laugh once. Didn’t even smile. In fact, I found it offensive. Not because of the context of what Shatner says, but because it’s not funny. Kinda like when Seinfeld said he found Tim Whatley’s newfound Jewish humor offensive. “It offends me as a comedian!” It just has the look and feel of every silly sitcom that’s ever been made since 1960. Maybe I’m wrong, feel free to judge for yourself.

Even I’m getting tired of posting X-Men: First Class news, so you must be tired reading it. After this, I’m putting a ban on it for two weeks, kinda like on Around the Horn when they mute one of the talking heads for 10 seconds. But just so you know, a major scene in the movie was just cut because director Matthew Vaughn said it looked too much like a certain scene from Inception. So on top of all the other bad news coming out of X-Men camp, now the movie is a big copycat. Great. They probably did the right thing here, this movie has an uphill climb to make that June 3 release date, the last thing they need is to read early reviews and be called an Inception clone.

yup. much better than blond.

yup. much better than blond.

Marc Webb doesn’t sound like a guy comfortable with leading the reboot of the best comic book franchiseof the last decade. In fact, he sounds a little scared. If I can picture this interview, I’d say he was sitting on the edge of his chair, checking his watch every 30 seconds and thinking, “Please don’t ask about Spider-Man … please don’t ask about Spider-Man … please don’t ask about Spider-Man … CRAP!!!” He could have at least given fans something, anything, about the upcoming production — “You’re going to love Andrew Garfield, he blew us away in the auditions!” or “By the time this hits the screen, the 3-D technology is going to make Avatar look like Jaws 3-D.” Nope, we got bupkis. Anyway, I’m somewhat interested in Lone Star, but I’m not holding out hope. Maybe the only reason I’m interested is Tyra from FNL is now a brunette.

Speaking of offensive, two of my least favorite topics: The last Twilight will be out in November 2012, and Ryan Seacrest says it could be weeks before they name a new Idol judge. I’m pretty sure as long as I keep it this short, I get to keep my testicles.

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A First Time for Everything. Like Talking About American Idol.

Sorry no PopRox yesterday. I’ll be back tomorrow, have a quick-hitter Thursday, then we’re live-chattin’ at noon Friday. Thursday I’m going to post the live chat expectations after some of the problems we had last time, too. And I will now start the shameless and constant Facebook and Twitter reminders.

As always in Friday’s chat, I’ll be answering whatever questions you guys have. Let me rephrase that — whatever pop culture questions you guys have. So get those questions ready. If you want to ask something you want to ask early, feel free to e-mail it to me, or hit me up on the PopRox Facebook or Twitter pages.

On to today’s links:

awesome get ... 10 years ago

awesome get ... 10 years ago

Congratulations, American Idol. You’ve broken me down to the point that I have to talk about this hosting business. And I’m bringing some bad news — the show is in trouble. Not that anyone needed to tell them that, because you can almost smell the desperation in North Dakota over the producers looking for the host to replace Simon Cowell and now Ellen DeGeneres. Since I’ve never seen AI, I wouldn’t know if Ellen was a good judge or not, I can only relate how mind-numbingly annoying she is in her quest to be the female Bob Newhart. Any time she voluntarily wants to be less famous is fine by me. The latest hosting target is J-Lo, which would be interesting … if it was 2001. But it will be 2011 when the show airs. And don’t think Howard Stern had nothing to do with the fact that they can’t find anyone to take the gig. They’ve known this opening was going to be here for months and the reason that they don’t have anyone yet is that people must be turning it down left and right. No doubt it was aided by the realization that, like Stern repeatedly said when he may or may not have been courted to take the gig, it’s nothing but a silly karaoke contest. No one with any kind of self-respect, dignity or credibility in the music industry should go anywhere near either of these judging jobs. On the bright side, this could mean the show is finally losing its steam and we might be rid of it once and for all within about three or four years. Fingers crossed. Then again, if Lopez does sign on, it may give South Park some more ideas. Taco flavored kisses for my Benny!

Other than the fact that there is no news at Idol, there isn’t much news coming out of the Television Critics Association semi-yearly press tour for the last week. The little news that is news is of the “bad” variety, especially the scoop that Fox is putting off the ultra-hyped dinosaur-times epic Terra Nova until next season. That’s probably not a bad thing though, since it’s such a big project, you want to make sure Fox gets its right. Then again, it could signal problems with the show and trying to get it right. Fox is planning on giving it the Glee treatment, with a premiere after American Idol in May and then putting it on hold for a couple months until the fall. Worked with Glee, not so much with Good Guys this summer.

And why aren’t people watching Good Guys? It’s getting shelved a tad early and it’s ratings have been horrible, but I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the season that ended last night. Bradley Whitford’s Dan Stark is easily the best character of the new summer shows, he can’t say anything without making me laugh. At it’s core, it’s just a procedural. Nothing more, nothing less. But there are enough kinks and twists — I like the time-jumping element of the plots to fill in some blanks — that it has the feel of something that its creators actually spent more than five minutes coming up with. Forget about whether it’s anything new or not — Dan Stark is what should be bringing people back on a weekly basis. It’s hard to figure why people aren’t more receptive to his character and this show. Unless your reason is skanky assistant AD Liz, or the back-and-forth snorefest that is her flirtation with Colin Hanks’ Jack. Then you’re excused. Criminals in Dallas must beg to go to trial so they can find out what Liz will be wearing in the courtroom, it’s ridiculously preposterous to believe she wouldn’t be laughed out of any trial she presides over for wearing her standard six-inch skirt with 8-inch heels. (Vent over.) I’m not about to start a Friday Night Lights-style campaign to entice people to watch, but it’s worth checking out when it comes back in September. FINALE GRADE: B+. SEASON GRADE: B.

a cheerleading show in october? pass. in early september? sign me up!

a cheerleading show in october? pass. in early september? sign me up!

One bit of news is the CW just announced its fall premiere dates for its new and returning shows, and its finally doing what every other network should be doing to make some noise — premiering shows early. It makes more sense for the CW to do it than any other network because their shows are so youth-skewed, and as soon as kids go back to school, they’re OK thinking about TV again. Plus, because they premiere early and nothing else will be on except for the Phillies’ pennant race, I’ll check out the news shows Hellcats and Nikita, when normally I wouldn’t have given them a second thought. The only thing on my radar is Vampire Diaries, which comes back a full two weeks before NBC’s comedy lineup, Fringe, Grey’s Anatomy, Survivor and CSI.

Every day there seems to be some new movie anniversary, but at least it’s about time someone put some spin on one of these anniversary stories rather than just “I remember where I was when I saw it!” Now that it’s been 15 years since the punchline that was Waterworld came out, it’s a good time to take an audit — was it really that bad? There was something like 5,739 stories written about how bad the movie was before it even wrapped up filming. It was dead on arrival, no chance for CPR. The only movie I can remember having press like that throughout its production but turning it around with a great box office was Titanic. So I didn’t bother seeing it in the theater despite being a Kevin Costner fan at the time (and still now). No sense in wasting my money, I thought. Then a funny thing happened. I got it on video — you know, video? — and I liked it. I didn’t love it, but I liked it a good bit. Sure, it’s got its problems, but in any other movie, Dennis Hopper would have gotten some Oscar buzz. Seriously. OK, maybe not Oscar buzz. But his villain definitely belongs in the categories of some of his other impressive villain turns in Speed and as Victor Drazen in 24. It’s not Frank Booth, but it’s pretty good. And Costner is actually pretty good too, he just went completely against his persona at the time. No one wanted to see him in 1995 playing a cold, heartless, socially crazed mutant. They wanted to see him pitching to Joe Jackson, or taking down another conspiracy theory, or running around in the British woods with an American accent. So maybe it was just bad timing, but the movie really isn’t that bad. Incomprehensible and a little wacky, yeah, but not bad. Now The Postman -- that’s another story completely. It’s one of the dumbest movies ever. So even if he didn’t deserve to get lambasted for Waterworld, he made up for it completely with The Postman.

Yet another anniversary, and this one comes with a startling confession — I’ve never seen St. Elmo’s Fire. Not all the way through, at least I don’t think so. I’ve turned it on midstream so much that I probably have caught the whole thing in bits and pieces, but it’s never been on top of my “to see” list. And the pieces I have seen never really grabbed me. So yeah, one of the seminal movies of the 80s that defined a generation of actors, and I’ve never seen it. Still don’t think I’m missing anything other than yet another Ally Sheedy might-get-nekked tease. Then again, I feel like I’ve seen the whole movie watching the Man in Motion video on MTV approximately 65,841 times in 1985. What the heck happened to John Parr? That should have been included in the where are they now story.

And since it’s now reached double digits of the number of people who have sent me the Pennsylvania Guys video and it was a topic of discussion at a bachelor party I was at this weekend, here it is just in case you haven’t seen it yet. It’s OK, but I don’t think it will be the funniest YouTube video I see today. As the point was made at the aforementioned bachelor party though, these guys know their stuff. They’re obviously fans of the state and have been all around it. They got the costume and lyrics right for the Scranton St. Patrick’s Day Parade — “sloppy wasted at 7 a.m., handcuffed by 12 p.m.” Sorry to say no mentions of the Poconos though. Maybe someone could do their own YouTube video of Pocono Guys.

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Is 3-D Over Already?

Second warning — the next PopRox live chat is coming next Friday at noon. That means next week I’ll be reminding you pretty much every day, so be ready for that.

Another live blog warning: If you’re a live blog fan, or a NASCAR fan, or both, we’ve got a couple going this weekend for the race. So if you can’t make it to the race, hang out in front of the computer and check out the live blogs we’ll have this weekend from the raceway.

On to the links:

there just aren't that many movies like avatar. guess what? clash of the titans isn't one of them.

there just aren't that many movies like avatar. guess what? clash of the titans isn't one of them.

This has to be the worst case scenario for movie theater owners around the world. If 3-D really is just a fad that already is getting old, then there are hundreds of theater owners who are getting ready to shell out tens of thousands of dollars on a technology that might be antiquated in six months. Those are the kinds of things that can put small, independently owned theaters — like the Casino Theatre in Mount Pocono and Pocono Community Theater in East Stroudsburg — out of business. They don’t have the money to spend on 3-D technology, but they’re being forced to, at the very least, highly consider buying the equipment to upgrade their theaters. If it really is just a fad that people will be turning their nose up at in five years, those theaters are probably in danger of going out of business. That is a crying shame. I still haven’t bothered going to see a 3-D movie, I have absolutely no inclination whatsoever no or anytime soon to buy a 3-D TV, and I certainly don’t want to have to wear special glasses just to watch said TV. Whether 3-D is a fad or not we probably won’t know for about a year or two until all of these planned movies get released. But if it is just a fad and studios continue to hold independent theaters hostage by practically forcing them to buy 3-D technology, it could be the death blow for two-or-three screen theaters. But at least Michael Moore is there to save them all!

Kevin Smith knows he’s being a complete tool about his criticism of movie critics. He knows critics are the ones that jump started his career, but he’s still got a bone to pick with them for the treatment of his last few movies. Reading this impromptu interview, you can really sense the conflict in him. He doesn’t want to hate critics, but at the same time, he’s passionate about his work and doesn’t want to be trashed. Who would? But geez, why is he so bitter? On Rotten Tomatoes, of the movies he’s been involved with behind the camera, only two of his movies are real duds, Jersey Girl and Cop Out. Jay and Silent Bob didn’t get great reviews, but I don’t think it’s the kind of movie that’s supposed to since it was one, long (hysterical) inside joke. Even Mallrats, complete with some of the worst acting of the last 15 years, almost managed to be Certified Fresh. So he really doesn’t have much room to bitch since he’s got a pretty good career, critically and commercially. And yet I still love hearing him spew.

If you don’t know who Paul Dano is just by hearing his name, you probably know his filmography as the mute kid in Little Miss Sunshine and the boy preacher in There Will Be Blood. Or maybe you know him because you’ve seen him playing football on Thanksgiving around Stroudsburg with his family. He’s got Pocono family connections, and his dad still lives in Wooddale, which you would know if you read my story last year when I talked to him. He’s got a pretty big 12 months coming up, culminating with next year’s Cowboys and Aliens, so if you’re not on the Dano bandwagon by now, there’s still room. You just have to squeeze in the back somewhere.

no hiding the baby bump this time

no hiding the baby bump this time

Hooray for Always Sunny! The sitcom that prides itself on being unconventional and making sure it doesn’t ever look like anything else on TV has decided to break another TV rule -- hiding the baby bump. It’s a time-honored TV tradition to hide the baby, mastered by the likes of Meredith Baxter Birney and dozens of others, including this year on In Plain Sight. But instead of writing around the real-life pregnancy of Kaitlin Olson as Sweet Dee, they’re going to make fun of it as only they can — with a whodunnit episode. Well played. Although I think I may be offended if she’s still drinking. I think, but I can’t be sure.

My video game playing days are pretty far behind me, mostly because for the last 10 years, when I’m playing video games I’m worried I’m missing something on TV. And I’m too lazy to wait for the games to load. So yeah, I’ve even gotten too lazy to play video games. There are kids stoned out of their brain playing WoW reading this right now thinking “Wait, what? You can even be lazy enough not to play video games?” Yes, yes you can! Well, if I did still play video games, I’d be super-crazy excited for this new Spider-Man video game coming out in September. Take that for what it’s worth.

I may have to rethink my Thor stance too. For the last two years, I couldn’t have given a flying fish about it. I never read the comic, hated the cartoon and hated when he crossed into the Spider-Man or X-Men comic book world. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s my least favorite superhero, but he was close. In a dead heat with Plastic Man and Ant-Man, at the very least. After seeing the trailer that just leaked online that got screened at Comic-Con though, I’m starting to come around. Yeah, it’s that good. I barely can understand the actual story, but you get the gist — Norse god banished from the promised land falls to Earth and has to live out a human existence in the hopes he can someday return home. It’s not the first time we’ve seen a story like this — Howard the Duck, anyone? — and it certainly won’t be the best, I’m pretty sure E.T. will be able to hold on to that title. But Marvel is developing quite the reputation for churning out fantastic comic book franchise movies. Thor looks like it might be the next in line.

"i'm trying to solve a murder here!" oh, and if they didn't want him to make waves, they shouldn't have put him in the water. love that trailer.

"i'm trying to solve a murder here!"

It’s criminal that my introduction to the Mexican standoff doesn’t make this list of the best movie standoffs ever — Reservoir Dogs. And you don’t even have to pick one or the other, you can just say both! The double-dare you, posterized Mr. White and Mr. Pink-on-the-floor gun-pointing match, or the movie-ending three-man tag-team of Mr. White, Nice Guy Eddie and Joe. And I hate to go all John Woo on everyone since he already made the list, but the complex, foreboding Travolta-Cage standoff at the beginning of Face Off takes a second viewing to realize just how important it is. An underrated one? Robert Pastorelli and Dennis Farina at the end of Striking Distance. Now if you’ll all forgive me for making a Striking Distance reference, I’d appreciate it.

I’m starting to come around on the idea of Michael Scott leaving The Office. I’m not saying it’s going to ever be as good as it was in the second and third seasons again — few shows will ever be that funny — and it certainly won’t be as funny in the short term after Carell leaves. But what do they have to lose? The show has been heading square into the abyss of mediocrity for about two years now, and even though it’s still funny, it’s been in danger of Entourage-like danger of turning unfunny. Still not sure what I’d like to see happen, whether someone should take his corner office, whether they should leave it open or whether they should add a new cast member. I just know it won’t be hurting anything by having him leave, and it could actually help. Just as long as they retire the line:

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Trailer Day

Here’s your first reminder/warning, of which there will be plenty more — another PopRox chat is coming.

We’re all set for Aug. 6 at noon, a week from Friday. I’m gonna lay down some ground rules next week so we don’t get a repeat of the July 2 chat, just so we know what you expect from me and what I expect from posters. Nothing crazy, I just don’t want to spend the whole time answering things like “How come my question isn’t showing up?” when it’s not supposed to and I don’t want to lead a discussion on why Phish may or may not be the best band in the world.

So that’s coming next week. We set a record last time for most comments in a Pocono Record live chat, and I’d love to get even more this time.

I’ve been putting off the PopRox semiannual Trailer Review Day for too long, so dive in:

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

You know, for something as juvenile as Harry Potter, they sure make some bad-@ss trailers. This is something like three in a row that despite me never reading a word of Harry Potter, have gotten me pretty excited for the upcoming movie. There isn’t one second of this trailer wasted with stupid dialogue or throw-away kisses, corny dialogue or plot hints. Nope, just action, conflict, explosions and creepy words of wisdom from Ralph Fiennes as Voldermort. THIS is how you do a trailer, people. Not that hard. The sad part? It’s a kids’ movie that has showed you all up. One problem — how much of the trailer is in Part I, and how much is in Part II? The trailer goes out of its way to distinguish the two parts of the final book in the series, but that makes it confusing to figure out which of the action is in which part of the movie. If I got to see it in November and don’t get some kind of nasty beatdown scene with Voldermort, I’ll … well, I’ll go to see the next one for the fight scene. But I won’t be happy! Oooo, I have a good punishment. I’ll spoil the ending! I’ll go opening night, see it, and if I’m not pleased, I’ll basically type out the script of the last 15 minutes right here. (Commencing maniacal laugh … NOW!) The trailer is clearly divided into two parts — notice the definitive break at the 1:32 mark — but that doesn’t necessarily mean what happens in the first part of the trailer is contained in the first part of the movie and everything after 1:32 is in the second part of the movie. So that’s a little frustrating. But I’ll be there. GRADE: A-

THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Director David Fincher is a little heavy-handed at times (Se7en), a little preachy at others (Fight Club), and just flat-out boring at others (no way did Zodiac need more than 2.5 hours). No matter what you think of his movies — and I’m a fan, incidentally — the man makes some hall-of-fame-level trailers. Is there a trailer HOF? If there isn’t, there should be, with Spider-Man 2 and Independence Day among the first inductees. Fincher’s latest trailer from The Social Network is just as good as any trailer he’s ever made, maybe better. Jesse Eisenberg is quickly becoming a favorite of mine, I’ve loved him in both Squid and the Whale and Adventureland. As good as he was in those, this has the feel of the movie that’s going to put him on the tongue of every casting agent in Hollywood. Not exactly enthused to see Rashida Jones (age 34) trying to pull off a college girl though. She graduated from Harvard in 1997 — almost 10 years before the Facebook stuff actually happened at Harvard. With any luck, she’ll actually be a professor or adviser or something, but it certainly doesn’t look that way in the trailer. And let’s face it — everyone wants to find out the original reasons behind why we find it necessary to waste hours on end uploading our iPhone photos of us getting loaded with 20 friends at a St. Patrick’s Day parade to our Facebook page. Perfect use of Creep too, sung by a kids’ gospel choir. GRADE: B+

TRON: LEGACY

After the first trailer was a rip-off from the worst part of Phantom Menace — the pod racing — I figured it would have to take The Dude, Walter and a resurrected Donny to get to me to see this movie. It was just plain awful and made no sense. After the latest Comic-Con trailer … I’m weakening. Now there’s a somewhat interesting story mixed with characters we might possibly even care about and some impressive CGI work. I’m still not on board, since I didn’t like the first one 30 years ago. But I’ll at least put it back on the table for consideration. GRADE: B+

DEVIL

Don’t let the trailer or other advertisments fool you for a second — this is NOT an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Not by a longshot. Whether that’s a good or a bad thing is up to you. But for them to tout it as such, I’m calling BS. All Night gets on this is a “story” credit. Essentially, that means he went to the studio with an idea and the studio bought it from him for whatever insane amount they felt like knee-jerk spending that day while Night’s agent said, “I don’t know, we have a meeting at Sony this afternoon …” Then the studio started tweeking, then prodding, then pushing, and before long, the script is unrecognizable to what Night originally conceived and he merely receives story credit. To put that in perspective — Quentin Tarantino wrote the original script for Natural Born Killers, but it was massively changed from his original vision. He asked for his name to be taken off the credits as a writer, but the studio refused since he was the hot “name” in 1995. So instead of being a writer, he’s listed as “Story by Quentin Tarantino.” Not every story credit goes like that, but there’s almost always this kind of behind-the-scenes crap that goes along with it. So to say it’s a Night movie is being intentionally deceptive and reaks of desparation. Not to mention there’s no one even remotely recognizable in this and the people who are in it may not have made it to middle school. And no, I’m not on a first name basis with Night, it’s just a frigg of a lot easier to type and spell than “Shyamalan.” GRADE: F

RANGO

Here’s the bright side. It’s better than the cryptically stupid, stoner-special teaser trailer the studio put out a couple weeks ago that just had the fish swimming in air across the screen.  That teaser is even worse now since it appears that fish has little or nothing to do with the movie. So my judgement is already clouded since that teaser did nothing for me. The new trailer isn’t making up for it by copying off North by Northwest and making cactus jokes. I’m clearly not the person to ask about this because I hated that first teaser so much, but the new edition isn’t the worst thing in the world. It just isn’t that good either. GRADE: C-

THE AMERICAN

It’s impossible to make George Clooney look bad at this point. It just can’t be done, and it’s silly to try. So any trailer he’s going to be in for the foreseeable future is going to look good because, well, George Clooney looks good. But you have to get past that, otherwise you end up seeing The Men Who Stare at Goats for no good reason whatsoever. The American looks OK for the most part, even if we’re treading back into the “one last hit” territory that’s already been covered about a bazillion times. But we’ve got some more false advertising going on here — the “acclaimed director Anton Corbijn” still. Do people think IMDB isn’t available for the next couple months or something? Corbijn is the ”acclaimed” director behind one movie, the very good Control from 2007. Before that, it was nothing but music videos. That gets you “acclaimed” status? Can’t we say something more like “U2’s Favorite Director Anton Corbijn” or “Potential One-Hit Wonder Anton Corbijn”? Those are more fitting. That bugged me throughout the whole thing. GRADE: C-

LITTLE FOCKERS

Think you’ve heard every which way to make a joke out of saying “Focker” and getting away with it? Then apparently you’ve never heard a grandmother refer to her granchildren as Little Fockers. I know my mother-in-law always refers to my daughter as that Little Sadowski. What, everyone doesn’t do that? So we’re off to a bad start already. The charm of Meet the Parents was that it didn’t go to conventional, generic comedy places to make jokes. In Meet the Parents, there might be three or four really laugh out loud moments. What made it a classic comedy you watch every time it’s on TV was the little moments of hilarity that put people in everyday uncomfortable situations to watch them get themselves out of it. Some lost luggage. A groggy, late-night mistake. A wrong turn in the dinner table conversation that ends with you milking cats. Those things are funny. But you can only laugh at Robert De Niro’s heavy pronunciation of Focker for so long before it gets boring. Guess what? It just got boring. I thought the same thing about the trailer for Meet the Fockers and liked that a good deal, so perhaps I’m overreacting. But I don’t think so. GRADE: D

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Comic-Con 2010 Pick Up

2011 already seemed old at this weekend’s Comic-Con.

ok, that's a little impressive

ok, that's a little impressive

Just a couple years ago, it was considered pretty groundbreaking when a movie cast/team would show up at Comic-Con to promote a movie that wasn’t premiering for another year. When the Iron Man cast did it in 2007 to tout the 2008 release, trailer in hand, people thought it was kinda weird — until fans kept talking about it for 10 months, the movie opened at over $100 million and it turned into the surprise franchise of the decade.

After that? Not so weird. So on they came, every movie with any semblance of comic book/sci-fi/pop culture interest, some for movies that ended up failing to live up to expectations (Watchmen) and others who used the venerable pop culture overload to springboard to fame and fortune (Twilight: New Moon from last year).

Now it’s common practice. Summer blockbusters for 2011 almost need to have some kind of presence or risk falling behind on the geek buzz meter. If you’ve never seen that meter, it’s an old C3PO watch, btw. Jon Favreau said as much on Stern this morning when he randomly called in to talk Cowboys & Aliens. He said no one really knew that much about the project — an obscure graphic novel — so he practically begged Harrison Ford to show up at this thing to make sure people put this movie on their radar. He did, reluctantly.

soon to be playing louis ck in the movie

soon to be playing louis ck in the movie

But forget about 2011, it’s already old news, especially when Marvel trots out the entire cast of its 2012 Avengers movie, director Joss Whedon finally announces he will be the director and runs a “future of pop cutlure” panel with JJ Abrams. The future? Apparently it’s to saturate a movie in the public psyche so hard that we show up like zombies at the ticket window, practically stretching our arms in front of our chests. At least that has to be Marvel’s idea by bringing the cast of a movie not scheduled to shoot for another year to a place where people will ask nothing but questions like, “So what’s the movie gonna be like?” What’s it gonna be like? NOBODY KNOWS! The script isn’t even finished yet.

That doesn’t stop people from wanting to know what’s next … you know, like what will happen after the three movies that won’t be fully released for two years. I’m all for looking to the future and trying to find out as much news as you can, but wow. Let me dissect 2011 before we start worrying about the 2014 movie slate.

Couple other items of note:

–Still nothing from X-Men: First Class. This should have been the coming out party for the new cast. Instead, not even the confirmed actors like James McAvoy, Kevin Bacon or director Matthew Vaughn could show up just to tell fans, “Don’t worry guys, everything’s under control.” I’ve been thinking it’s 50-50 the movie would make its June 3 release date and be good. Now I’d say it’s 25-75.

TV panels would be my favorite part Comic-Con. Yeah, it’d be cool to have seen The Avengers cast gather together for the first time, but I think I’d actually like to hear the process of how the episodes of Fringe come together more.

just to be clear, this was the smile and look on jimmy dugan's face when he told the crowd to kiss his rosey red @ss

just to be clear, this was the smile and look on jimmy dugan's face when he told the crowd to kiss his rosey red @ss

–If I was someone like Angelina Jolie, who would stir up such a crowd at a place like Comic-Con it should be illegal for her to go there, I’d go out of my way to make sure I never have a movie released anywhere near that weekend. She should have it in her contract that every movie she makes should be released July 16 so that she never has to go to this thing. She looks like she’s having about as much fun at this thing as me right before a dentist appointment. Now Leonardo DiCaprio — he’s got it down. Premiere with a $65 million a week before and you don’t have to sniff that place. Inception has a legitimate shot to stay on top of the box office until mid-August after another big weekend.

–I’m starting to think I’m the only one in the world who saw the original Tron to know how much it sucked. I guess I was only 8 when I saw it, so maybe I just didn’t get it at the time. but I have no interest in seeing Tron Legacy in December, an updating of the 22nd biggest movie of 1982.

we'll never know who he is, but it's probably better that way

we'll never know who he is, but it's probably better that way

The only thing important enough to tear me away from Comic-con news is a question: “Who is Don Draper?” If it weren’t such a perplexing question, then it would be the cheesiest opening to an anticipated TV show season ever. In the hands of lesser people, it would have been. It should have been. But when you’re talking about Sunday’s incredible season four premiere of Mad Men, you’re talking about the best TV minds in the business somehow turning the pratfall of a hokey, obvious opening into a revealing process of inner thought. The truth is, no one knows who Don Draper is. He’s led so many different lives — literally and figuratively — that question throws him so far off his game he can’t concentrate. That question clouds his judgement for a week of the show’s time, until finally he fixes his wrong by puffing out his chest and blasting the Gospel of Don so loud that every one can hear it. And just like that, we’re stuck behind another veil of Don Draper secrecy that we may not ever see our way past. It’s like Paul from Beautiful Girls telling Willie, ”You never let them see the little old man behind the curtain working the levers of the great and powerful OZ.” On the other hand, we now know exactly who Betty’s new husband Henry is. He didn’t get enough screen time last year to get a good read on him, he was more window dressing or a means to an end than he was a character. He was there just to get Betty away from Don and nothing else. Sure, he was self-assured and confident in his wooing of a married woman, but he never deviated from what any other wooing has ever looked like in TV and movies. But now we know. That self-assured, almost cocky thing he had going on? That was an act. He’s really a sniveling little mama’s boy without financial means to buy his own house despite a seemingly high-profile government job. He’s perfectly content to “live in someone else’s dirt,” perhaps the most eloquently beautiful words of Sunday’s incredible premiere episode. Now that we know who he is, it’s back to trying to figure out Don. But why bother trying? They’re never going to let us know, and that’s probably a good thing. It’s fun trying to figure out on our own. GRADE: A

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Comic-Con is Upon Us — Just Don’t Get Too Crazy

I’m late because of the I-80 tractor-trailer crash — an hour in that slop — so let’s get right to it:

ok, so maybe there is a reason to go to comic con

ok, so maybe there is a reason to go to comic con

Time for Comic-Con! For the next five days, you will be deluged with news from movies and TV that come out of the celebrity panels, and don’t think for a second any of it off-book or accidental. Every bit of news, however big or small, will all be carefully crafted by dozens of publicists and PR flacks hoping to get a little extra publicity for whatever they’re pumping. There will be no casting decision is too small, no sequel announcement too trite, no trailer unveiling too minuscule to appear in BOLD CAPS on Collider or wherever with what might look like big news — but it might just be an announcement with Jim Parsons confirming he’ll leave Big Bang Theory in 2020. Since I’m off Friday, we’ll take a step back, let you find the news in other ways, and come back Monday with the news from Comic-Con that actually is big.

Luckily, this has never happened to me, where someone came to me and strong-armed me to give up a source. Wanna know why? Because I’ve never used an anonymous source! It only leads to trouble. In fact, I even had the opportunity to use one in a story I wrote Saturday, an anonymous source that would have completely cleared up a complicated story I was writing where I was receiving no cooperation and was under severe time limits, but decided not to. It’s just lazy. Some people — people I love as writers and completely respect as journalists — routinely use anonymous sources, and in their specific line of work, maybe it’s necessary. But it always makes me cringe when a baseball writer like Jayson Stark — my favorite baseball writer, just to clarify — says something like, “One American League GM said …” That kind of journalism doesn’t fly around here. It’s only when you’ve exhausted every other source you have, when that anonymous source can be completely and 100 percent trusted beyond all doubt (not reasonable doubt, mind you, but all doubt) and your only other option is to put a gun to your head and consider pulling the trigger because you’re so frustrated that a great story is going to get blown out of the water. I have no idea whether this Jon Lovitz look-a-like guy ever called Sumner Redstone’s people to find out if the source was telling the truth or not, but if he didn’t, then he should be ashamed. Then he should be fired from whatever this Daily Beast website is. Sure enough, there is no mention in the original article of any Redstone representatives refusing comment. Redstone, from all accounts, is a cold-hearted businessman who might just be getting cold-cocked square in the teeth by a double-fisted dose of karma. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve good journalism. Looks like we hit a sore spot! I’m taking two giant steps down from my soapbox now.

keep 'em comin' sweets, i got a long drive.

keep 'em comin' sweets, i got a long drive.

Actually, I’m getting back up, just for a second. My wife and I had an extended discussion yesterday about the Bill Murray interview in GQ, about whether he’s a good guy or not. First off — I’m a huge Bill Murray fan, both his work and his philosophies. He’s the star of at least five movies that have embodied my definition of comedy at one time or another (Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day, Kingpin and Rushmore). His transformation into a respected dramatic actor — robbed of an Oscar for Lost in Translation — is nothing short of remarkable. But in that interview, he came off as the condescending bully from college who’s too smart and cool for everything. He’s just seems to be too smart for his own good. I know people like this — actually, I’m sure I am that person sometimes — and they’re just annoying. Other than that, he completely lost me talking about how great Kung Fu Hustle was. Maybe I just didn’t get the joke, but I didn’t think it was any kind of comedy masterpiece. Had some laughs, yeah, but nothing that makes me think no other comedy can ever reach that level. Weird. At the same time, I feel like a hypocrite because it’s completely refreshing to hear a Hollywood person be so open and honest with the “I could give two s—, this is how I feel” attitude in an interview. It’s what I’ve begged people to do, and it’s the attitude I’d hope any Hollywood person would have if they were ever talking to me (fat chance). So I’m torn. Feel free to read it and fill up the comments on the subject. But first watch this and try and come up with five better comedic actors of the last 30 years. You can’t do it.

There are very few true “maverick” directors out there any more. The days of directors who completely played outside the studio system and made whatever movie they wanted to, refused to take notes from the bosses and basically told everyone in their way to eff off are over. Young directors beat the bushes with their first independent film, then they immediately look for the big paycheck. Who can blame them? It’s why they got into the business in the first place. But the mavericks are still out there, and leading the way is probably Todd Solondz. Not because he’s doing things like walking around Los Angeles flipping people off and telling them exactly where they can stick their iPhones, but because he makes uncomfortable, provocative movies that could never, ever be studio movies. Think American Beauty turned upside down on crack while coming down from a heroin high. Tearing through the Solondz filmography in a day or two would probably drive a person to suicide contemplation, so it’s not recommended. But if you’re looking to experience the inner workings of one of the weirdest movie minds still somehow allowed in the industry, then Solondz is your guy. Just know this isn’t a recommendation, because I would never tell anyone I didn’t know to watch his movies. It’s only a suggestion to movie fans if you’re not familiar with his work.

can there even be another like him? not counting the last indiana jones, that is

can there even be another like him? not counting the last indiana jones, that is

On the other hand, there are still directors within the studio system making brilliant movies. They’re just tough to find when you’re sifting through the rubble of the Michael Bay clones that pop up quicker than cockroaches. They’re all chasing that Dawson dream, of becoming The Next Spielberg, the guy whose movies can make $300 million and still get Oscar nominations. Even though James Cameron may have usurped Spielberg as the most profitable, technologically gifted and critically loved director of this age, Spielberg still is the gold standard by which every director is judged. There’s only one guy out there right now who can lay claim to TNS title, and that’s Christopher Nolan. The guy just makes incredible all-around movies that make a ton of money. He’s got his own franchise (Batman), is godfather to another (Superman) and still has time to make the kinds of movies he finds interesting. If anyone is going to be TNS, it’s Nolan.  

Must have missed this a couple weeks ago, but ABC is going just as bland as Fox and NBC with its fall premiere dates, employing a standard “premiere week” type format. The only difference is bringing out No Ordinary Family a week later to make room for a two-night Dancing with the Stars premiere the week before. Great idea! Give Glee fans an extra week to completely tune out of your show. Nice. CBS still hasn’t announced its fall premiere dates, but I’m not sure people would know what the difference is between a repeat and a new episode of CSI.

Fans of low-rated, niche programming on HBO rejoice! Bored to Death and Eastbound and Down come back to HBO Sept. 26. I wish I felt a stronger need to get Kenny Powers back into my life, but I don’t. He’s been gone for too long. While we’re at it, the second half of the first season of Caprica comes back in January. It got lost in my OnDemand schedule after about the fourth episode or so, and I don’t regret it for a second.

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