The very happy couple!
A beautiful moment of thanks to her parents.
As promised the pictures that tell the story of last weekend’s ‘surprise’ wedding.
Thanks to Jane for sending them so quickly!
Everyone shared in a wine ritual.
RIver rocks... passed around to be tossed into the river... back where they belong in nature, along with our good wishes for the couple.
Tossing the rocks....
Possibly my favorite cake topper ever!
Today – one of my favorite topics… rain and weddings. It is a big issue for outdoor ceremonies and as I always say, if the whether is nice, no problem, if the weather is bad, no problem, but when it is ‘iffy’ … problem.
In the early morning rain.
There is an old saying that rain on your wedding day is a lucky omen. The Italians even have a saying for it, “Sposa bagnata, sposa fortunata“, which means that a wet bride is a lucky bride. In the U.S it is commonly repeated that rain is lucky, and also considered to be a good wedding omen in Germany, Sweden, and France. This is possibly because rain is associated with a bountiful harvest, and thus, fertility. Some believe that the rainier the wedding day, the more children the marriage will produce. But let’s be honest, most brides would prefer a dry day and a little less luck!
The uncertain condition is what happened with the ceremony I officiated this past Sunday. It was sprinkling on and off all morning and as the ceremony time approached, the wedding coordinator and myself asked the bride for her decision. In my opinion it is always the bride’s call! She changed her mind a couple of times, which is totally understandable, and ultimately we went with doing it outdoors. There were some sprinkles and luckily folks seemed to have umbrellas and ponchos. They were somehow prepared. But ultimately it is only water…it dries off and it was warm out, so she had her outdoor ceremony, and as I could feel the rain drops moving from mist to actual rain, I skipped through a couple of sections of the ceremony and went directly to the vows and rings, and the couple sealed the deal with the kiss and off they went as it started to pour. Timing, as they say, is everything!
Who'll stop the rain?
Saturday I officiated one of the most fun weddings of all time – a surprise wedding. A surprise, that is for the guests! I’ll blog more about when the photos are ready from my friend, the wonderful photographer Jane Caruso-Dahms.
I hear laughter in the rain...
This says it all!
Today I’m not going to blog about specific weddings… what I do want to talk about is something I see happen at many weddings. Cell phones and cameras.
The only place I want to see a cell phone at a wedding!
First cell phones. Please, please, please turn them off! This may sound obvious but its easy to forget. The ubiquitous phones have become so much a part of our lives that we don’t even know we have them, they are simply attached to us. I recommend not just silencing them, but actually power them down. Sometimes the signal can cause static for the DJ or musicians.
You can remind your guests by putting a note in your program or asking your ushers to politely mention it.
Everyone loves to take photos at the wedding ceremony. And who can blame them? But at most weddings there is a professional photographer and there will be lots of beautiful documentation. However, it is fun to snap your own photos. But I have seen guests standing in the aisles and jumping all around to get their own pictures. And more importantly I have also seen guests snapping or taking video through the entire ceremony. The ceremony is an emotional, special and even sacred time. I wish all the guests could be more ‘in the moment,’ listening and experiencing the ritual as the couple takes this big step in life’s journey.
Are your guests more like paparazzi?
I don’t want the first words out of my mouth to be ‘silence your cell phones.’ I want to greet people with joy, not sound like a mean old schoolmarm. So dear reader, please remember your phones and try to take it easy with the photos. Do I even have to say ‘no texting?’
There is always something to learn from every experience. As I look back on the three weddings I officiated this past weekend I am struck by how different these couples were and how their energy and personalities truly informed the ceremony.
A beautiful Chuppah!
Couple number one brought together an Irish family and an Italian family. The guests were very engaged in the ceremony and applauded the readers, and laughed and cried. I love this! I wish every wedding would have guests that are so relaxed and really enjoy the celebration. But people are different. And that’s my point.
Couple number two was a little more reserved but the beauty of bringing together different cultural traditions was fantastic. I always love it when I can draw from family history, that is, if the couple wants this. This can be done through readings or rituals. For example a Hindu poem and a Bible reading, or a Chinese Tea Ceremony under the Chuppah!
The third couple was much more traditional. This means they chose traditional vows, readings and it was very classic. They even chose black and white as their colors, which looked absolutely stunning! Actually, I should say ‘black’ because the bridesmaids all wore black. It was very striking!
We did our own version of a Chinese Tea Ceremony
To me, the important thing is that the wedding reflects the couples and their families. When everyone leaves the ceremony feelings something truly personal and important happened, then I know I did my job. I want the couple and their family and guests to truly experience the importance of the occasion.
Black bridesmaids dresses are fantastic!
It’s been an unusually hot summer so far and many of the outdoor weddings I’ve officiated have struggled with it. People always have a rain plan, but no one has a heat plan!
Barefooted brides and grooms... not for everyone, though!
Here are a few things I’ve noticed and some suggestions for dealing with it.
Guests tend to wait until the last second to go out into the sun, and who can blame them. Don’t make them wait outside after the ceremony. If you were planning a receiving line outdoors in this weather, I hope you will reconsider. Receiving lines are falling out of fashion anyway, although it is a lovely tradition allowing you to greet each and every guest and each, and every guest to greet and congratulate you. Perhaps move the receiving line inside to the air-conditioning, or forgo it completely. But if you skip it, please be sure you visit each table at your reception and take time to greet every single guest.
Yes, that's right... I did say go barefoot.
Fans on the chairs - it helps.
Consider umbrellas for shade. There are some wonderful wedding umbrellas that people think of for a rain accommodation. Why not use them for shade? You can rent them, or buy them and give them as favors.
Let your male guests know that it is perfectly ok to take off their jackets (have someone announce this perhaps, or ushers or wedding coordinators can give them the word as guests enter the ceremony site). But sadly, our groom and groomsmen can not do this! However, barefooted grooms and groomsmen, for the more unconventional types, could help them a lot! Just kidding… sort of.
And of course have some kind of water service to the guests as they enter the site. Being ecologically minded, I’m not a big fan of those little plastic bottles. Pitchers of water and glasses not only look better but are better.
And best of all, plan in advance and know where the sun will be in the sky on your wedding day, and where the shade will be, and choose the right time for your wonderful outdoor ceremony.
What a great wedding this past Friday night. It was held at the River View Country Club near Easton, PA. I’d officiated there before and it was just as lovely as I remembered it.
Great Home Brew
The couple had quite a few special touches that I want to share with you. For our ceremony we put together a terrific ritual that resonated for many reasons. The couple shared bread and salt, which is an old Eastern European tradition, honoring their heritage. Being self-described ‘foodies’ bread and salt are two essentials for anyone who loves to prepare or eat food – so there was that connection as well. And the other element was a symbolic sharing of beer. I often suggest wine-sharing rituals for ceremonies, but this groom brews his own beer. They even gave his special brew as favors – wedding label and all.
When you think about sharing a beer as a symbol, well, why not? Beer has a long and noble history. Beer is a sociable and fun beverage. And some of the world’s greatest beers are brewed in Germany, which was a connection to their family hertiage. Put all together into one ritual – it worked beautifully.
This creative couple also had a candy buffet for their guests – everyone could make up their own personalized bags of treats to take home with them. All of the candy in their colors, of course, so it looked fabulous, too!
Candy Buffet... yummy!
and more candy....
They created their own logo for the wedding and for the beer. And one of my favorite DJ’s, Wesley Works, was there, but they also had a small jazz combo play for cocktail hour, which was very nice.
I love their wedding 'logo'
The ceremony was fun and meaningful. The reception was delicious, relaxed and fun as well. All and all this couple put together a celebration that was totally true to their style and personalities. I know their guests will long remember it and they should feel very proud to have done such a great job. You can have it your way.
Love this Couple!!!!
Congratulations to Brad and Erica!!
While listening to one of my favorite NPR shows, the very funny quiz show ‘Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me,’ I was intrigued to hear one of the segments revolve around wedding trends. Naturally that got my attention. The premise of this particular quiz is that the panel tells three different stories (in this case about wedding trends) and the caller has to guess which one is the real one.
one of my favorites shows!
The new weddings trends posed were: Lawyers at the ceremony. Diapers for brides, because their dresses are too hard to deal with, and Lemon-wedding planners – they plan a fake disaster which the bride or groom then overcomes, making for a memorable wedding! Unfortunately I knew the answer and it is… wait, wait, don’t tell me… oh yes: the bridal diapers.
Hmmm… I’m not so sure about this idea. It sounds really icky and I have a hard time imagining this, but it is true. Maybe it’s not exactly a trend, but apparently, some are doing this!
Why am I even writing about this? Well, perhaps it is a cautionary tale for all of you brides-to-be. Please think about your comfort when choosing your dress and shoes, for that matter. This is a big day in your life. Don’t you want to be comfortable?
Here are a few tips for shopping for that important dress:
Give yourself enough time, if possible.
Decide what styles work best for your body before going out to look.
Not too overdone!
Set a budget and try to stick to it. Remember, if you find the dress of your dreams but it is way out of your budget keep looking. You can probably find a similar dress style within your budget.
Bring someone with you that you really trust to tell you the truth.
Remember that all those ‘bones’ in strapless dresses can be quite uncomfortable. Trying it on for a few minutes is one thing, wearing it for hours, is quite another.
A natural, relaxed look makes a beautiful bride.
And most importantly – be yourself!!
Whether it’s hair, make-up, shoes or the dress, you want to look and feel beautiful, but sometimes brides take it too far, and they are practically unrecognizable. In my opinion, the most beautiful bride is a happy, and comfortable bride.
It’s the 4th of July – our nation’s anniversary! And the date you choose for your wedding is, of course, your anniversary. Many couples keep that in mind. I have had many inquires (and of course am booked) about 10/10/10.
Happy Anniversary America!
I officiated two wonderful weddings yesterday, the 3rd of July, and both of these couples chose this date for specific reasons relating to the date. They each had their own history with this historic weekend. They wanted to get married on the date they first met, or became engaged, or had other significant events in their relationship.
The first couple was a fun family with three children, so we had a Sand Ceremony ritual including the kids. They each picked their own sand, the girl chose bright orange, one boy chose blue and the other boy chose black! Mom chose a multicolored sand and the Groom actually brought sand from Rockaway Beach, a place where he had lots of great times growing up!
A groom in his Navy White's always looks amazing.
For the second wedding of the day the groom was a Naval officer, and we had military personnel standing with us. Of course I included a thank you to our military guests, and part of the couple’s story included how they endure such long separations. Today and everyday we must remember those who sacrifice so much.
The Bride wore this charming veil.
I often write about what goes wrong at weddings and how to deal with it all, because it’s a great way for readers of this blog to learn. But today I want to write about what went right.
This weekend I officiated at a backyard wedding for a cool, laid-back couple with two children, a relaxed wedding at a clubhouse in a development for an inter-faith couple, and a religious ceremony at the Shawnee Inn.
The backyard wedding was great because the guests were completely engaged. They clapped, laughed and added their own (loving) comments. The couple wrote their own vows and they were definitely the highlight! The groom concluded his heartfelt words about how much he loved his bride and their children with the immortal words: “You made me into a stronger man, father, and friend. You gave me the greatest gift that any person can give to someone and that is our children. I’m so happy that you are their mother. Now lets go ride this thing until the wheels come off. I love you.”
Back yard weddings can be wonderful
The Buddhist/Catholic couple’s wedding had readings and touches (but not too many) from both traditions and a few nice Irish rituals, too! It was casual but beautiful and meaningful. Explaining what drew these two interesting people together and all they share was the theme, and I think we achieved that goal. I included this wonderful selections from Buddha’s Scriptures…
Like the energy from with the sun, a great marriage is a sum more than its parts:
it shines like rays of goodness from the fusion of minds in harmony.
And like the sun, its brilliance knows the relationship of time
a brillance that will light your path, and warm your hearts,
and guide you safely forward into the journey of your life.
Let this marriage be that fusion of inspiration.
A Buddhist/Catholic wedding
The religious wedding had beautiful touches of prayer and we also included the beautiful reading often called ‘The Hands of the Bride and Groom.” And although it was a scorcher – we were under the pavilion at Shawnee so we had shade and the breeze from the river was cooling. All in all, a great weekend!
A Catholic/Buddhist wedding
Happy September
A little of this and that today.
The weddings are flowing, in all their wonderful variety. It’s been very hot this year and continues to be… some of my brides have been using these wonderful parasols or umbrellas. They’re not just for the beach, you know! These differ from umbrellas; they are paper and won’t protect you from the rain, that’s for sure. You may want to invest in real umbrellas, which could do double duty.
Umbrella or parasol?
Love the parasols!
Recently seen at a wedding at a vineyard… wine corks used to hold the place cards. Adorable and free!
Wine corks as place card holders
Also noted: a Polaroid camera for folks to take their own picture, fasten in to the guest book, and sign or leave a message.
Candles on your tables at your reception can be lit by your guests – in your honor…from your candle at the head table. It becomes like a unity candle ritual, but including all your guests as a part of your community.
And tall centerpieces continue to be popular, but remember to consider that your guests need to see each other!
Tall centerpieces are dramatic.
This weekend…some very unique couples. Looking forward to it and will post next week! Have a wonderful Labor Day holiday. Celebrate!