meeting many couples…

It’s that time of year! I’m meeting with lots of couples, planning their ceremonies for spring, summer and fall. Everyone is so different and that keeps it interesting.

Some of those differences are related to the couple’s history or family. Is this a second or even third marriage for one or both partners? Are there children involved, and if so, how to include them. Is it a young couple or first marriage, and if so, are they close with their parents or families? If that is the case, we might talk about ways to include them in the ceremony, too. We might want to incorporate children. There are so many possibilities!

I really enjoy hearing couples talk about how and when they met. And I’ve heard some great stories! Some are quite funny. Engagement stories are like that too, as even the best laid plans can often get bungled. One that comes to mind is the groom who was planning on a romantic proposal but just got ‘antsy’ and simply just got down on one knee in the middle of the street and popped the question. Most of the humorous stories have to do with the groom’s impatience. It seems an engagement ring will burn a hole in one’s pocket if left there too long.

creative proposals are great - if you can make it work!

creative proposals are great - if you can make it work!

Some are creative: One groom created a scavenger hunt of clues that led to the ring! And then there is always the ring in the dessert.

The dessert ring!

The dessert ring!

Of course there are two important elements I always want to hear about – and that is each of their faith traditions and cultural or ethnic heritage. I strive to keep a completely open mind about these, as one never can assume about such matters. I recently was interviewing an interracial couple and suggested some rituals to reflect that, and as it turned out, that was not really something of interest to them at all. What they did find compelling was their football team loyalties, as each of them passionately roots for a different and competing team! Guess what? We are including that in the ceremony. How fun!

Laughter... always good.

Laughter... always good.

It’s not that easy to incorporate fun into a wedding ceremony. It is, in it’s nature, a serious and formal event. I learned early on not to try to tell any jokes, it just doesn’t work, at least for me. I have found that it is the temperament of the couple themselves that will shine. Any humorous anecdote that the couple is comfortable sharing can really help bring that spark of joy and laughter to the ceremony.

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  • Blog Author

    Lois Heckman

    Lois Heckman is a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who officiates at weddings, funerals, and other ceremonies in the Poconos and beyond. She has performed hundreds of ceremonies and brings a wealth of knowledge to her work. Visit her website: ... Read Full
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