No pressure, please!

Try not to stress about things you can not control!

Try not to stress about things you can not control!

Just back from a brief vacation, and I got behind on my blog. I try to post once a week. But I didn’t stress out about it. No one at the Pocono Record has told me how often I must blog. They trust me to do my best, and that’s what I always try to do. I love that. (thank you Pocono Record!)

Likewise, there should be no such demands on your wedding. Yes, things do need to get done, and a timetable is useful, but most of the pressure couples feel about their wedding comes entirely from them. Ok, ok – I know sometimes family members place expectations and additional pressure on you. If this is happening, you need to deal honestly with it. If parents, siblings or friends are telling you to have a certain kind of wedding, the kind you do not wish to have – you must find a nice way to tell them this is your wedding.

Problems can also arise if the family is paying for the wedding and assume this gives them the right to control everything.  You need to get some clarity if this is the case. Simply sit them down and be candid, perhaps say something like: ‘Mom, dad, we really appreciate all you are doing to make our wedding great, but this isn’t what we had in mind for our big day. I hope you won’t be upset if we do it differently.’

And let’s face it – things do go wrong, and often though no fault of our own. People make mistakes. It happens. Someone forgets to bring something, something breaks or isn’t delivered, or a hurricane comes. (Rain is the biggest fear I hear about for outdoor weddings – so prepare thoroughly – this is a topic in itself, for another day)

Make the best of even a difficult situation!

Make the best of even a difficult situation!

There is no such thing as a perfect wedding. So prepare for the unexpected. Think about something going wrong, and then think about how you can choose to react – either with anger or sadness, or with grace and good spirits. Laughter really is the best medicine. No one likes a bridezilla!

And be honest about your own feelings, because this is a big milestone, and major life transition. It is not at all unusual to feel confused, and any number of conflicting emotions. In fact, it’s downright normal.

If things are going wrong, step back and remember that at the end of the day, you will be married. It helps to also recall that your wedding day is not the end, but the beginning of your new life together. So make sure you start out right. This could be your first test.

Disaster can strike... but is it really a disaster?

Disaster can strike... but is it really a disaster?

Keep in mind that you are vowing to go through your lives together, for better or for worse. So if the ‘worse’ part happens at your wedding, simply see it as the first test of your marriage, and I hope you pass with flying colors!

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