The Truth About Men and Weddings

A thoughtful groom.

Conventionally it’s the man who is expected to ‘pop the question’, but often it comes out of a mutual realization as a couple evolves on their journey together. Still, the man is expected to come up with something surprising and romantic, even when they both already know the engagement is eminent. While it does occasionally work in the reverse, there is a lot of pressure on straight men when it comes to the proposal. But once that is accomplished, what is next for the guy? Traditionally, historically, culturally and in the media and advertising-driven world of weddings, the focus is brides, brides, brides!

But according to the financial services firm Barclays’ new research on men and weddings surprisingly indicated that guys are more excited about the upcoming wedding than their brides.  In Great Britain a survey of 2,185 adults revealed that nearly twice as many men than women (16 percent vs. 9 percent) would choose to put their savings toward a wedding, rather than a home. Ok, it’s a small sample, and its not from here in the U.S., but still, the news is that men are indeed interested in their wedding! Along with the excitement, research shows that men are also overwhelmed with wedding planning. Not surprising, given the social pressures.

Perhaps that is why some grooms just want to leave it all up to their partner. Others do want to be involved in ways that might surprise you. So don’t assume anything about your man (or any man).

Fiona O’Donnell, lifestyle and leisure analyst at Mintel, a marketing research firm, says that while women are still the primary planners, 46% of men, compared to 36% of women said the ceremony site was the most important, followed by the wedding dress (12% of men vs. 30% of women) and the reception venue (15% of men vs. 13% of women).

Traditional gender roles keep us from exploring our true and full abilities. I have known many a groom to work on décor, programs, flowers, invitations and other areas typically thought to fall to the bride. Men more often take the lead on tasks such as organizing for out-of-town guests, finding an officiant, rehearsal dinner, honeymoon, transportation, music, and drinks and even food.

One thing a groom should do regardless of his level of involvement is to work with his groomsmen to get all their clothing needs taken care of. He will coordinate the choices with his bride, of course!

Many modern men are interested in being involved in everything, and want to come to an agreement on the priorities for their wedding. Choosing the right style and tone, location and size, type of ceremony, are all things both partners ought to be involved in right from the start.

Happy men!!

As usual – thank you Lisa Rhinehart for the wonderful photographs

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