When it doesn’t go as planned

Everyone worries about what might go wrong on their wedding day. I always tell my couples that whatever happens, I promise you will be married when I’m done with you! But what happens when something does go wrong?

Here are a few common and challenging ceremony situations and idea on how to handle them.

Children in weddings. Kids don’t always cooperate and when a little one is having a bad day there isn’t a whole lot that can be done. I often have children involved in the ceremony itself, especially if they are children of the couple who are getting married. They don’t always participate as we’d planned. One of the biggest problems is the clinging child who won’t be quiet unless mom or dad (bride and groom) holds them. I’ve officiated entire ceremonies with a bride or groom holding their child. Is this how they pictured it? Of course not. Was it ok? Yes, of course. But the downside is the couple is not focused on the meaning of the ceremony.

Its wonderful to have children in the wedding, but they don't always cooperate.

So what can you do? Arrange in advance for someone the child knows and loves to have a small favorite toy, or especially a lollipop to give the child. Don’t expect children to stand through the ceremony. For children who are there as guests, let parents  know that it is perfectly ok to pick up you child and walk right to the back or out of the ceremony. Everyone else will appreciate it.

Ring bearers and flower girls who won’t walk down the aisle. It helps to practice with children, but it may still not work out. When they are quite young, consider using a wagon and wheeling them in. If you have more than one child processing, it is helpful to have them walk together, or be prepared to have an adult walk with them.

Your veil flies off! Yup, it happens. It’s best to just let it go. Trust me – someone will run after it, but don’t interrupt the ceremony to chase after it, and especially don’t try to re-attach it during the ceremony. An overly attentive best woman can also disrupt the moment. Talk to your maid or matron of honor and let her know that while her job might be to hold your bouquet or fix your dress’ train, she shouldn’t be compulsive about it. It’s just distracting.

Flubbing your vows. This is one of the biggest worries. While a small mistake when repeating or reading vows happens pretty often, it is much less noticeable and embarrassing than the bride or groom believes it to be. Everything is magnified at a time like this. Remember, a little mistake is just that: little. It’s not big deal. Not at all.

Let it all unfold as it will. Since there is nothing you can do about these little incidents, keep them in perspective and remember they make great stories later.

 

Thank you Lisa Rhinehart for the wonderful photos!

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  • Blog Author

    Lois Heckman

    Lois Heckman is a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who officiates at weddings, funerals, and other ceremonies in the Poconos and beyond. She has performed hundreds of ceremonies and brings a wealth of knowledge to her work. Follow her on Pinterest, ... Read Full
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