Planning a wedding? It will come and it will go and when the ‘big day’ is over – what then? There was so much leading up to it, so much to do, so much fun and so much stress.
Many couples have reported that after the engagement, wedding, or honeymoon, they walk into their home and break-down crying. It may be tears of joy, or tears of relief, but it may also be tears of fear or depression. Some newlyweds report feeling let down. It’s a real thing. If you envision your wedding as walking off into the sunset, what is there to greet you? A new journey is beginning now. Scary stuff! You prepared for the wedding, but did you prepare for your marriage – and is that even possible, marriage being a complicated, lifelong challenge?
I could write a post-wedding to-do list, but it’s all been said before. You know, the stuff you must do after the wedding – write the thank-you notes, save the cake or cake topper and/or bouquet if you’re into that. There are legal things to do as well, especially if you’re changing your name. But I’m not addressing those tasks today; I’m reflecting on the emotional impact, and the possibility of a case of post-wedding blues.
With all the energy that went into planning that one day, regular old everyday life may seem boring or empty. Accept that that it’s ok and even normal to feel this way, and begin the process of creating a good marriage by sharing those feelings with your partner. Guess what, he or she may be feeling the same. Remember, there is no magical transformation that comes with signing the marriage license.
Now for some ideas! To replace the excitement of wedding planning with some new excitement, try creating a date night routine, where each partner can take a turn at surprising the other with a special evening out. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, use your imagination.
It’s also a good time to start planning something new to look forward to. You and your spouse can take this time to work on your home, search for a new or future one, do a room make-over, or organization something you’ve been putting off forever.
What about a future vacation or trip? Create a bucket list of places to go and work on a plan to make it happen in the many years ahead.
You can break-in new gifts with a party. Did you receive new glassware? Have an after-wedding bash to inaugurate it, and hang out with your best pals. Sometimes the wedding reception is just so busy you really don’t get any quality time with family or friends. It’s quite the whirlwind. How about a quite get together with your attendants as a thank-you to them?
Dive into a local charity and start to give back. You just spent a lot of time on you, now refocus on helping others.
Any notion that all your needs will now be met because you are married is just silly. No one is everything for someone else. Keep your friendships with others going, don’t ignore them just because you’re married now. You’re still the same human being, aren’t you? It takes work, dedication, patience and commitment, but go out and create the life you dreamed of.
Thank you Lisa Rhinehart for the gorgeous photos!