Getting Married on Mother’s Day

Most couples choose not to have their wedding day on a holiday. But I have performed a few ceremonies on various holidays, and it’s important to include some mention of it. Christmas is a big one, of course, and Christmastime weddings can be awesome. I’ve also performed ceremonies on the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, New Year’s Eve, Father’s Day and Mother’s Day

Honoring the parents.

For a wedding on Mother’s Day obviously, you want to include the couple’s mothers in some way, or perhaps the bride or brides are mothers, themselves.

Using the traditional gift idea right in the ceremony works great. Consider presenting bouquets of flowers to your mothers. The words are important, but I try to avoid clichés, finding it better to make it specific to each mother.  I advocate honoring parents at every ceremony, anyway, when it’s appropriate. Surely you’re going to make a bigger deal out of it on a day dedicated specifically to them!

 

Mother and daughter.

There are probably many moms attending a wedding, and it would be fun to address them as well, or even actively involved them. After all, they gave up their special day at home, that one day when they are supposed to get waited on hand and foot, to be at your big day instead.

Another way to see it is that it is a plus for mom. Use your wedding as an opportunity to bring the families together in celebration. Consider it a gift to mothers, especially for a destination wedding, or even just staying at a local hotel and include a spa treatment, or other favorite activity for mom and pull out all the stops!

One Mother’s Day wedding I performed included having all the mothers in attendance participate in watering a plant the couple chose, as a symbol of their nurturing their own children. They were also given a gift of a plant to take home. Oh, and don’t leave out your GRANDMOTHERS, after all, they are mothers, too.

Grandmothers, too

If there are children attending, have them all stand and say a thank you to their moms. I would explain this simply and clearly, making a statement and asking them to all join in, in a big, loud ‘thank you mom!’

Another option is to do something privately with your mother or mothers before the ceremony, such as presenting them with gifts and cards and hugs and kisses. And to make them extra proud in front of all the guests, let everyone know that you did so. Is this self-serving? Perhaps, but I guarantee your mother’s will be both embarrassed and honored when you announce it.

Because of my background working with survivors of abuse, I am always highly sensitive to the fact that not all families are happy families, and so I always carefully discuss this with the couple to learn about any uncomfortable or complex situations, never assuming everyone has a big happy healthy family life. This is true for every wedding I create.

Mother’s Day is celebrated on different days across the world, but is generally observed on the 2nd Sunday in May, in our neck of the woods. The modern holiday was created in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in West Virginia. In 1912 she trademarked “Mother’s Day”, and created the Mother’s Day International Association. She specifically noted that “Mother’s” should ‘be a singular possessive, for each family to honor its own mother, not a plural possessive commemorating all mothers in the world.’

Savvy business people quickly understood the monetization potential of the holiday, and while part of me loves these holidays, another part thinks it’s all just a big excuse to sell cards and boxes of chocolates and such. So, let’s remember to honor our mothers and fathers on other days, as well. Hey, it’s not my commandment!

Don’t shy away from choosing Mother’s Day for your wedding, just be sure to run it by your mothers before committing to the date. It’s not rocket science – just remember to incorporate a ‘thank you’ to them on your big day.

Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day. Please pass me a chocolate.

 

 

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    Lois Heckman

    Lois Heckman is a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who officiates at weddings, funerals, and other ceremonies in the Poconos and beyond. She has performed hundreds of ceremonies and brings a wealth of knowledge to her work. Visit her website: ... Read Full
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