Author Archives: Lois Heckman

Cooking up some wedding fusion

Blending traditions and cultures for an inclusive wedding I’m often asked about this. When a couple comes from two different cultures, ethnicities or religious traditions, how do I blend their backgrounds into a cohesive ceremony? First and foremost, I am always deeply mindful that there be an absolute sense of equality and balance. No one [...]

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Fairytale Weddings – Grim Roots

I love delving into rituals and traditions from around the world, and do so fairly often in this column. Today I thought it would be fun to look at some of our most well-known customs that have, uh, let’s say – ‘uncomfortable’ origins. It’s almost universal for fathers to ‘give away the bride,’ and I [...]

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How to give the best wedding speech ever!

Have you been tasked with giving a speech at a wedding? Quite an honor, but sometimes a little scary! You want it to be good. No, you want it to be great! Here are some of my thoughts on how to help you get there. First, and very importantly, it needs to be structured – [...]

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Spotlight on Grooms

So much focus is put on women and weddings. Maybe too much, really – focus that becomes pressure, stress and unrealistic expectation. Remember that men, too, are almost always part of the occasion and equation, and too often not given enough thought. Time to look at the men-folk again! Before I get to all the [...]

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Should You Accommodate Difficult Guests?

The concept of the dysfunctional family has become a bit of a joke, with everyone declaring their family is ‘not normal.’ And what is ‘normal’ anyway? But for those with severe problems, it’s no joke! Whether it’s addiction, mental health, or developmental issues, there are probably people in our lives who have circumstances that may [...]

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2018 Wedding Trends… who cares?

What are the trends we can expect for 2018 weddings? One of them is something I’ve been advocating for a long time: unusual forms of entertainment for your guests. A friend of mine, DJ Adam Skuba, has the latest cool craze to replace the photo booth – the Magic Mirror. It is an interactive experience [...]

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Year-end highlights

It’s practically obligatory for columnists to do their year-end column or wrap-up. And then there’s the one about coming trends. I am not going buck those traditions! Here are some reflections on weddings I’ve officiated this past year, as we say goodbye to 2017. From intimate elopements and micro-weddings at my own ceremony site, Harmony [...]

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In good times or bad…

One of the best things about being a Celebrant is working with wonderful couples who love each other and see good things in the future. But how do we reconcile love and goodness, when bad things happen around us? It’s helpful to remember that people have tied the knot during wartime, through military deployments, through [...]

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Another look at the Knot

Did you ever wonder where they expression ‘tying the knot’ came from?  I thought I’d take a good closer look at the ancient ritual that inspired the well-known phrase. There are a few different explanations of this Celtic ritual, also called handfasting. The basic action is simply using rope, cloth, or ribbons, to wrap (sometimes [...]

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Navigating the complexities of interfaith weddings


I perform quite a few interfaith wedding ceremonies. Finding someone versed in this can be difficult and I’m proud to say I think I do a great job. But what exactly does this even mean? Many people think of an interfaith wedding as a Jewish/Christian one. But it can be almost any combination. I have [...]

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    Lois Heckman

    Lois Heckman is a certified Life-Cycle Celebrant who officiates at weddings, funerals, and other ceremonies in the Poconos and beyond. She has performed hundreds of ceremonies and brings a wealth of knowledge to her work. Visit her website: ... Read Full
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